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Default The Panama Papers and Pastor Zeke - 04-12-2016, 12:34 PM

It is a terrible shame that Pastor Zeke’s name has been mentioned in connection with the Panamanian Mossack-Fonseca affair. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who are envious of the success that is available to all Americans if only they will get out there and do some hard work.

Pastor Zeke came from humble roots and his family suffered much at times of hardship: his father was poor, his mother was poor, his butler and maid were poor, there was hardly enough for the annual trip to the Bahamas.

When Zeke’s father, the much revered Lamentations Flint, was finally promoted to glory, he left nothing more than a few million dollars and eight properties scattered throughout the world. Despite such disadvantages, Pastor Zeke put his shoulder to the grindstone and looked to the future. Foregoing many things you may consider to be “luxuries”, he flew his private jet from country to country ensuring that the estate was efficiently run and would turn a modest profit. So dedicated was he that he even had to evict his mother from the main family home and place her in the care of newly purchased the “Nome Home From Home” senior care center in Alaska – a decision that tore at his heartstrings until the day she died three weeks later.

It was against such a deprived background that Zeke formed 359 companies in Panama to deal with the complex affairs of international property. All of you will understand that even for the small, hardworking businessman, the fluctuations of international currency exchange rates and various tax-regimes were simply an unnecessary formality when the work of God was to be done.

Zeke has always been one to say “Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” and to that extent, the companies ensured that the correct Caesar received exactly what that Caesar deserved.

Of course, Jesus spoke of Tiberius Caesar, the ruler in Rome at the time of Jesus’s temporary death. Zeke has spent endless hours trying to find Tiberius Caesar’s descendants, all, so far, without success. In the meantime, Zeke can do nothing but keep the money safely.

Here are some picture of Zeke keeping money safe for the true heirs to Tiberius Caesar, should they ever be found.


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(A lot of the money comes directly from cash tithes and can be in used notes which are remarkably dirty and unhygienic: a lot of this money has to be cleaned, or, as LBC's expensive Jewish accountants say "Laundered." )

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“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: The Panama Papers and Pastor Zeke - 04-12-2016, 03:03 PM

Dear Friends,

As Panama is an integrated part of my Rapture Tithing Fund Management program (which has the Mayor's Office 100% Seal of Approval), it seemed only appropriate for me to also respond to the baseless accusations going around lately. Especially since several Landover Pastors seems to be mentioned in these so called "Panama papers".

For those not aware of this, Panama is an insignificant country in Central America situated between North and South America. It is below Mexico so once my good and close friend Donald John Trump completes the wall between the United States of America and Mexico, Panama will probably become the primary destination for Mexican rapists, drug dealers and murderers. Panama is mostly inhabited by indigenous tribes, the Chibchan, Chocoan, and Cueva peoples, among whom the largest group are the Cueva. None of those tribes are capable of civilised behavior. It's best to compare them to untrained misbehaving dogs.

No Christian will be surprised to learn that Panama is a great location to invest in the salvation of mankind. Most of the local tribes can not read or write, do not speak English and are unaware of modern inventions like cars, golf courses or the Internet.

So the billions of dollars that have been invested in Panama offshore companies have been well invested. If even a single tribe member figures out how important the Bible, of which we of course shipped them boatloads, is and achieves the eternal bliss of worshipping Jesus Christ, it will all have been worth it. I hope this will ease the minds of those who wrongly assume their money has just mysteriously disappeared.

Just feel good about being part of doing God's work! Matthew 28:19 - King James Version (KJV)
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.


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Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against you.
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Default Re: The Panama Papers and Pastor Zeke - 04-13-2016, 08:58 AM

How will this exposure affect Landover?


Revelation 19:15 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God."
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Default Re: The Panama Papers and Pastor Zeke - 04-13-2016, 12:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Regis Alexandrus View Post
How will this exposure affect Landover?
Not at all.

God is quite specific about money - it is non-salvific and therefore not important. Therefore anything connected with money is not important either.

The truth is our shield and The Lord is our sword. With God on our side, we can have nothing to fear.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: The Panama Papers and Pastor Zeke - 04-13-2016, 12:48 PM

Remember that God could easily destroy Panama if He was against this. Panama is simply the Christian alternative to Saudi Arabia.
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