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Question What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-04-2010, 11:52 PM

Well, everyday when I come home from damning those who do not follow Christ, to Hell, my dog sits there and barks at me. Sometimes he will even scratch at the door and knock over his food dish. I know he is trying to get me to follow Satan but I don't know what he wants me to do. What should I do with Smuckers?
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-04-2010, 11:56 PM

I think he just wants to be taken out for a walk and fed, which I highly doubt is "satanic", but I'm sure the "pastors" here will say otherwise.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-04-2010, 11:58 PM

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Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
Well, everyday when I come home from damning those who do not follow Christ, to Hell, my dog sits there and barks at me. Sometimes he will even scratch at the door and knock over his food dish. I know he is trying to get me to follow Satan but I don't know what he wants me to do. What should I do with Smuckers?
It is not you who damns sinners to Hell. Jesus does. You just inform them.

Dogs bark. That's what dogs do. Get over it.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)


1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Property of Billy Bob Jenkins
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:05 AM

no, no I know for a fact my dog is trying to lure me towards Satan
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:06 AM

Do not keep a dog as a pet, it is forbidden.


Book 39 3.515
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever keeps a dog, one Qirat of the reward of his good deeds is deducted daily, unless the dog is used for guarding a farm or cattle." Abu Huraira (in another narration) said from the Prophet, "unless it is used for guarding sheep or farms, or for hunting." Narrated Abu Hazim from Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A dog for guarding cattle or for hunting."


SURA 1
2. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
3. The Beneficent, the Merciful.

pigs be upon him means piss be upon him
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:11 AM

I will not have a dog as a pet for long if Smuckers keeps this up, thats for true.
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Question Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
no, no I know for a fact my dog is trying to lure me towards Satan
How do you know Smuckers is trying to lure you to Satan?

Couldn't it be that you need to shower and stink really bad? Dogs do have sensitive noses.

Couldn't it be that he just does not like you?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Imam Rashik View Post
Do not keep a dog as a pet, it is forbidden.


Book 39 3.515
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever keeps a dog, one Qirat of the reward of his good deeds is deducted daily, unless the dog is used for guarding a farm or cattle." Abu Huraira (in another narration) said from the Prophet, "unless it is used for guarding sheep or farms, or for hunting." Narrated Abu Hazim from Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A dog for guarding cattle or for hunting."
I did not know that. I'm learning more and more stuff everyday.
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Exclamation Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
I will not have a dog as a pet for long if Smuckers keeps this up, thats for true.

Nor will Smuckers have an owner, I suspect.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:16 AM

Big Jim, I know he is trying to bring me to Satan because I found one more than one occasion chewing on my Bible.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:18 AM

Here's a solution for Smuckers: Maybe you can get a share of the $500 for an "animal crush" video. The soul-less vermin can make a little money for you, instead of eating it all up and shitting it all out.
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Question Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
Big Jim, I know he is trying to bring me to Satan because I found one more than one occasion chewing on my Bible.
You found an 'occassion' chewing on your Bible and you blame the dog? Do you have pictures?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
Big Jim, I know he is trying to bring me to Satan because I found one more than one occasion chewing on my Bible.
Get him a chew toy so he doesn't chew on your Bible.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:23 AM

Oh trust me I have. I know Smuckers is possessed and follows Satan. What should I do with him?
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Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Scarlet Wynter is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
Oh trust me I have. I know Smuckers is possessed and follows Satan. What should I do with him?
Perhaps you should give him to someone who will disipline him. Or you could send him to one of those doggie obedience schools.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:29 AM

I have no pictures and the Bible is long gone.
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Imam Rashik View Post
Do not keep a dog as a pet, it is forbidden.
How about you come over and tell my boys that.



My baby sleeps at the foot of my bed, and would get quite upset if you told him he was forbidden.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHasMyB View Post
Oh trust me I have. I know Smuckers is possessed and follows Satan. What should I do with him?
Drop him off at the local pound, I'm sure he'd love to have a chance at getting a sane owner.


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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:33 AM

Please rid yourself of the dog. The dog is doing the work of the Shaitan (Devil).


Book 54 4.448
Narrated Abu Talha: I heard Allah's Apostle saying; "Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house wherein there is a dog or a picture of a living creature (a human being or an animal).

Book 54 4.531
Narrated `Aisha: The Prophet said, "Five kinds of animals are mischief−doers and can be killed even in the Sanctuary: They are the rat the scorpion, the kite, the crow and the rabid dog."


SURA 1
2. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
3. The Beneficent, the Merciful.

pigs be upon him means piss be upon him
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 12:39 AM

i've made the decision to exorcise the dog myself, what should i have on hand for when the spawn of satan releases itself from my dog, Smuckers
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Default Re: What is my dog trying to posses me to do? - 11-05-2010, 01:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Imam Rashik View Post
Please rid yourself of the dog. The dog is doing the work of the Shaitan (Devil).
Aww...... are you scared of my little puppy? He hasn't really bit very many people. Well as long as you don't touch his "mommy" or his property, or his children, or his car, or..... well you get the idea.

Oh and I don't have "just one dog". I have 3 living in the house, and a bunch in a kennel in the back.


Any particular reason you linked to my user page? I still say you should give it to the SPCA. I'm assuming this is some small dog that you can easily influence with your crazy ideas. Right now my children and I are watching "Cujo".


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