Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
|
True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-15-2011, 06:08 PM
Ladies, this last week we installed 1080p HD Security Cameras in the women's bathrooms in the Main Hall, Auditorium Extension, Bible Center, and the business offices for our church. There was a minor brouhaha by pushy, loud-mouthed broads who complained about "lack of privacy" and "possible sexual exploitation". While it is giving up some essential liberties, we must remember the inspired words of American patriot Benjamin Franklin who said "It is absolutely necessary to give up all your freedom for your security, so that you may have both."
You cannot be free without giving up all your rights!
In these days of terrorism, we need to be on guard. How do we know Al-Qaeda won't infiltrate our church, and go into the ladies' bathroom and set off a bomb? What if depraved lesbian acts were happening in the stalls? Should we sit back idly and let these crimes take place? NO!
So, we have installed HD Security Cameras not only inside the restrooms, but inside the stalls themselves. Rest assured that only a select few, trusted individuals will be able to see these cameras and videos, like myself, Pastor Ezekiel, Pastor William Nathaniel Sampon, all senior pastors, all junior pastors, all associate pastors, all deacons, camera maintenance engineers, security chief Bobby-Joe, and all security officers, both full-time and part-time.
I would also like to squash the unfounded rumor that I will be selling videos of the Landover Lady of your choice in various bathroom sessions for only $19.95. Oh, and they say I take cash, check, or VISA/MasterCard (no American Express). This is completely untrue and if you don't believe me, send me a private message or call my private cell for further details on why this rumor isn't true.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-15-2011, 07:10 PM
I trust you will not allow any women to view these videos. You know how prone they are to lesbianism.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-15-2011, 07:46 PM
Lot of unnecessary drama over this. One lady (who will remain nameless) barged in the security building wearing some tacky pink sundress and started screaming about the new cameras. I told her yes they are installed but to protect privacy I am the only security officer who watches them. She instantly calmed down and said "well big deal then, as Pastor Pistle staid you and Born Again Bob are the very last men we would ever see lusting a women in Freehold. For a moment I though one of these sheet wearing horndogs was peeping at my nickers".
Like what is that supposed to mean?
Anyway ladies; take some pride in your underwear. Enough with the torn stuff (yes, you Sister Cookie)
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-15-2011, 08:14 PM
Rev. Osborne it's wonderful that you are taking the security of the Landover ladies so seriously. I'm sure that they are all extremely grateful. However one thing does worries me. As you said you are concerned about the war on terror. There have been many cases of female terrorists strapping explosives to their bodies. What if a terrorist pretended to be a True Christian lady, gained our trust and tried to commit an atrosity at Landover?
The toilet cameras would not spot a clever terrorist.
However an explosive packed vest would always be visible in the shower areas.
To protect our ladies I am willing to do my bit with the monitoring. Although I am in England I sure we could sort out an internet feed and I would be prepared to put myself out for the good of Landover. I would consider it my Christian duty.
Unfortunately I am not available on Tuesday (during the over 80's exercise class) so somebody else may have to take over duties then,
YIC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-16-2011, 03:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
I would also like to squash the unfounded rumor that I will be selling videos of the Landover Lady of your choice in various bathroom sessions for only $19.95. Oh, and they say I take cash, check, or VISA/MasterCard (no American Express). This is completely untrue and if you don't believe me, send me a private message or call my private cell for further details on why this rumor isn't true.
|
Amen, Brother. If we were going to sell such videos, they would be more than $19.95. Unless you bought two.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-16-2011, 07:17 AM
I would hate to get my hands on one of these videos. In particular a HD video of María Gálvez-Villalobos would be awful.
So just to reaffirm DO NOT send me a video of María Gálvez-Villalobos.
PAL please, NTSC doesn't work on my TV
Yic
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-16-2011, 01:32 PM
There is nothing the mohammedan will not do. The women (such as they are) most likely are worse than the men and would not hesitate to smuggle explosives (or nerve gas) in the most repugnant manner. The boxer is a breed which is both friendly and curious and they are very easy to train in the matter of detecting explosives.
|
|
As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-16-2011, 01:38 PM
My father wants to know where you bought those cameras so he can make our house terrorist free.
I Jesus!
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 74
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Tomahawk, WI
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-16-2011, 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
There is nothing the mohammedan will not do. The women (such as they are) most likely are worse than the men and would not hesitate to smuggle explosives (or nerve gas) in the most repugnant manner. The boxer is a breed which is both friendly and curious and they are very easy to train in the matter of detecting explosives.
|
It certainly wouldn't be hard for those "women"(it's hard to tell from their looks, but I think they're women) to hide anything under those layers of bed sheets. It sickens me to think what else they could be hiding under there.
Matthew 9:12-13
(12) But when Jesus heard [that], he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
(13) But go ye and learn what [that] meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-16-2011, 06:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
I would hate to get my hands on one of these videos. In particular a HD video of María Gálvez-Villalobos would be awful.
So just to reaffirm DO NOT send me a video of María Gálvez-Villalobos.
PAL please, NTSC doesn't work on my TV
Yic
Jack
|
Don't worry. She probably wouldn't be allowed into the United States, much less Freehold. We would have to start rationing air.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 516
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Mission for Men, topeka Kansas
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-17-2011, 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Don't worry. She probably wouldn't be allowed into the United States, much less Freehold. We would have to start rationing air.
|
They have terrorists in spain, dont they? Maybe we should send her a camera so she could install it for her own protection.
Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-17-2011, 01:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustGotSaved
They have terrorists in spain, dont they? Maybe we should send her a camera so she could install it for her own protection.
|
Wonderful idea! Even if it was just a webcam set up. I do worry about her.
There is no point setting up a webcam to protect her slutty cousin, as I believe she has installed one herself for a premium rate site 'Saucy Spanish Stumpets'.
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-17-2011, 11:22 PM
I'd like to congratulate those who installed the cameras last week. We haven't had one terrorist bombing since.
I'm so pleased that I'm on my way round to your place Zeke to deliver a private $20 tithe as a thank you.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 394
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Heartland of America
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-18-2011, 06:28 AM
I happen to have $20 just burning a hole in my pocket, Rev. Jim....
Of course I'd like to contribute
you have DVD's, right?
|
|
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-18-2011, 03:12 PM
Alas, I'm a long way from Landover therefore unable to participate in your security programme. However, given the time differntial between us - perhaps it might be prudent to install a 24 hour webcam in the facility so that the ladies of Landover will have round the clock security from friends of Landover across the world. We will assist with the Godly protection of these Christian ladies, Jude 1:24-25
I will be willing to pay the cost of the installation myself and I'm sure there are other's who will be willing to donate a montly contribution for the upkeep of the security cameras. The cameras will have paid for themselves in no time and with regular contributions from Landover's friends, the ladies will feel secure in the knowledge that they are protected by the diligence and attentiveness of Christian men. It will also help to aid other security initiatives taken by the Pastors. Hebrews 6:11
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-18-2011, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam the ex-drunk
Alas, I'm a long way from Landover therefore unable to participate in your security programme. However, given the time differntial between us - perhaps it might be prudent to install a 24 hour webcam in the facility so that the ladies of Landover will have round the clock security from friends of Landover across the world. We will assist with the Godly protection of these Christian ladies, Jude 1:24-25
|
Friend,
This is a security measure, not a peep show for filthy sexual deviants. As Pastor Zeke said "I don't want any fag sex because some guy was getting off looking at a woman's bottom. You watch the monitor Bobby-Joe" This is only a job for committed, NOT gay Christian men.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
|
|
08-18-2011, 05:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Friend,
This is a security measure, not a peep show for filthy sexual deviants. As Pastor Zeke said "I don't want any fag sex because some guy was getting off looking at a woman's bottom. You watch the monitor Bobby-Joe" This is only a job for committed, NOT gay Christian men.
|
Posted via Mobile Device
|
|
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-18-2011, 05:32 PM
Dear bobby-Joe
I assure you I am no fag and nor am I interested in the vile concept of a peep show.
I have only the interests of good Christian women at heart. The people of landover have shown great friendship to me and I only want to repay that by assisting in their security programme.
In my previous post I thought I backed up my suggestion with scripture. Surely you don't believe that there is any nefarious intention in the assistance I offered.
Posted via Mobile Device
|
|
Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-20-2011, 11:29 AM
Let's not forget the danger of a possible male terrorist. I see no need to protect our Godly mens toilets at LBC, but we might consider a preemptive installation in the mens rooms of area restaurants and bars. That's probably where they would congregate to stage a terrorist attack against us.
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: War on Terror: Regarding the New Security Cameras in the Women's Restroom Stalls -
08-20-2011, 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExGay Alex
Let's not forget the danger of a possible male terrorist. I see no need to protect our Godly mens toilets at LBC, but we might consider a preemptive installation in the mens rooms of area restaurants and bars. That's probably where they would congregate to stage a terrorist attack against us.
|
Good suggestions, Exqueer Alex, and we can probably broaden our thinking to include an early warning system by expanding our coverage to include the interstate rest stops in the area.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|