[Glendora Christianson]

I assume most of our members are smart enough for this one, but for those unsaved folks who visit, a friendly reminder:

Mother accused of microwaving baby
By James Hannah
The Associated Press

Dayton, Ohio - A mother was arrested on suspicion of murdering her newborn daughter by microwaving the baby in an oven.
China Arnold, 26, was jailed Monday on a charge of aggravated murder, more than a year after she brought her dead month-old baby to a hospital. Bail was set today at $1 million.
"We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death," said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner's office.
He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby, Paris Talley.
Arnold was arrested soon after the baby's death in August 2005, then was released while authorities investigated further. Betz said the case was difficult because "there is not a lot of scientific research and data on the effect of microwaves on human beings." The death was ruled homicide by hyperthermia, or high body temperature. The absence of external burns ruled out an open flame, scalding water or a heating pad as the cause, Betz said.
Arnold's lawyer, Jon Paul Rion, said his client had nothing to do with her child's death and was stunned when investigators told her that a microwave might have been involved.
"China - as a mother and a person - was horrified that such an act could occur," Rion said.
The night before the baby was taken to the hospital, Arnold and the child's father went out for a short time and left Paris with a baby sitter, Rion said. The mother didn't sense anything out of the ordinary until the next morning, when the child was found unconscious, Rion said.
Arnold has three other children. In 2000, a Virginia woman was sentenced to five years in prison for killing her month-old son in a microwave oven. Elizabeth Renee Otte claimed she had no memory of cramming her son in the microwave and turning on the appliance in 1999. Experts said that Otte suffered from epilepsy and that her seizures were followed by blackouts.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

In this case, the opposite is equally true. Do NOT put baby in the deep freeze either.

Man on trial for putting baby in freezer

OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian man who could not figure out how to deal with his girlfriend's feverish 10-month-old daughter put the baby into a freezer to cool her down, a local newspaper reported on Friday.

Derrick Hardy faces charges of criminal negligence and assaulting the infant, who was rescued when her mother came home, the Charlottetown Guardian said.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. said the mother found the girl crammed into the freezer alongside ice cubes and hamburger meat. Hardy said he had left the door ajar but the mother said it had been closed when she returned.

He told a court in the eastern province of Prince Edward Island on Thursday the child had only been in the freezer for about 40 seconds.

Hardy, 21, who admitted to police that he had no real parenting skills to deal with a sick child, said he had noticed the girl was very hot and put a cool cloth on her face, but this had no effect.

He then carried the girl outside into the night air but, frustrated that this also did not work and worried she might drown if placed in a cold bath, he put the baby into the kitchen freezer. She was wearing only an undershirt.

A local doctor said the mother had described her baby as "crying, sobbing and terrified." The child spent several days in hospital to recover from first- and second-degree freezer burns on her head and torso.

Hardy has pleaded not guilty to the charges. The baby's grandmother now has custody of the girl.

[Glendora Christianson]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

In this case, the opposite is equally true. Do NOT put baby in the deep freeze either.

I think we're on to something, Pastor Zeke, and I feel good about helping all the stupid heathens who visit our church. You know, if they can just keep from killing their children, we have a chance of saving them. So my next word of advice is don't put your baby in the dishwasher. I know lazy heathens, wiccas, even a few Cathylicks might think they can save time by washing baby automatically, but the dishwasher gets a little too hot for baby. CARING GLENDORA

[Brother Temperance]

I take it the blender's out as well, then?

[Poetic Peter]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

I take it the blender's out as well, then?

This too



What a great thing this is:
Preaching Gospel and Prepubertal Safety at the same place.

[Poetic Peter]

I know it means one less killed and cooked Peking cat, but....

what's really wong here?

[Poetic Peter]

Another place not to place Your Baby

"Venice Sand Mermaid"


Why not? What's the risk?
Well, that mashed-head looking thing nuzzling her nookery, appears to my eye
to be a former sandy baby Harp Seal. Clubbed by....who'd do such a savagery?

Yes, it could have been a baby.
---












dept. of rant:




I see no point in running baby parts through the blender
only to feed some other baby. How stupid.

---
Am fresh-out of baby risk-places.

Help

[tommy]

Dear lord, Italians are doomable.

[SUV]

Mother Glynndie, I have a question, and perhaps some of you Men might wish to join in with an Answer™

Which is, what about times when otherwise Good Christian women Kill their Babies in the Name of God or Jesus? Is that still Sin? Because, didn't some old Goat in the Bible, I think it was Abraham, Kill his firstborn Son - as he was actually Commanded to do by God? (My GOD!)

(There's no hurry with the answer. I have plenty of Christmas Goodies to keep me busy as I await it and the Second Coming.)

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera

Mother Glynndie, I have a question (and perhaps some of you Men might wish to join in with an Answer™

Which is, what about times when otherwise Good Christian women Kill their Babies in the Name of God or Jesus? Is that still Sin? Because, didn't some old Goat in the Bible, I think it was Abraham, Kill his firstborn Son - as he was actually Commanded to do by God? (My GOD!)

(There's no hurry with the answer. I have plenty of Christmas Goodies to keep me busy as I await both it and the Second Coming.)

According to the Bible, the first thirty days of a child's life don't count. You have that long to feed it to the muslims or toss it down a well. Between two months and five years of age, you may still kill it but you have to pay a fine. 50 sheckels for a boy, thirty for a girl. After the age of five you can't kill it anymore, but you can sell it.

I hope this helps
Pastor Al

[SUV]

It Certainly did help, Pastor!

In addition to Smiting Baby-killing clinics, we should also turn our Righteous Wrath upon America's "legal" "system"! How many Good Christian women are sitting in jail cells when they ought to be home Baking Gingerbread Cookies for their Husbands?

This, I say, this is Scandalous!!!

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

According to the Bible, the first thirty days of a child's life don't count. You have that long to feed it to the muslims or toss it down a well. Between two months and five years of age, you may still kill it but you have to pay a fine. 50 sheckels for a boy, thirty for a girl. After the age of five you can't kill it anymore, but you can sell it.

I hope this helps
Pastor Al

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

According to the Bible, the first thirty days of a child's life don't count. You have that long to feed it to the muslims or toss it down a well. Between two months and five years of age, you may still kill it but you have to pay a fine. 50 sheckels for a boy, thirty for a girl. After the age of five you can't kill it anymore, but you can sell it.

I hope this helps
Pastor Al

So . . . it counts until it's born, then you get a 30-day reprieve?

I guess that's so the unwed whore mother still has to suffer through childbirth, but the rest of us don't have to suffer from the presence of yet another unwanted future criminal running around sucking at the teat of Mother Welfare?

Mercy me, sometimes I forget how clever the Lord is!

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson

the dishwasher gets a little too hot for baby. CARING GLENDORA

This thread is buildin' a fearsome rumblin' in my belly.

May we at least bake baby?

[OnYourKnees]

Hmm, I guess this answers my question.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

So . . . it counts until it's born, then you get a 30-day reprieve?

Yes, because the woman, who is merely a vessel, has no choice. Abortions are a sin. Only after the baby is born and the father (or actually ANY man or group of men in the vicinity) look it over for a month for signs of defects, pre-homeristic tendencies (it won't suckle on the dog) and potential male pattern baldness, is it deemed to be alive. But save those 50 sheckels for five years just in case.

[OnYourKnees]

PRAISE JESUS! Such a brilliant plan!

But why would a homer NOT suckle on a dog? Or did you mean on a <ahem> bitch?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

PRAISE JESUS! Such a brilliant plan!

But why would a homer NOT suckle on a dog? Or did you mean on a <ahem> bitch?

Yes, Brother....I meant a female dog. Modesty prevents me from using specific taxonomy.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Yes, Brother....I meant a female dog.

That's quite a relief, Pastor!

[SUV]

Pastor, I have another question: When is it Murder and when is it Insanity? Because when these women go to court to say that God told them to do it, obviously He will have more Class than to appear in a boring old courtroom to Testify on the Witness stand as to either yea or nay! - so how will the judge affirm that this woman actually did hear a voice straight from God?

Is it because The Good Lord never shows up to Testify that these Mothers are then automatically judged insane?

[eliot mayfield]

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson

I assume most of our members are smart enough for this one, but for those unsaved folks who visit, a friendly reminder:

Mother accused of microwaving baby
By James Hannah
The Associated Press

Dayton, Ohio -
"We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death," said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner's office.
He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby, Paris Talley.

Look here! We are a church about truthabove all! This is false evidence. It is a myth that microwaves cook from the inside out! It is NOT true!

Some Microwave Oven Myths

Do Microwave Ovens cook from the inside out? Nope. Food is partially transparent to the radio waves, so the energy is able to shine through it, but at the same time the waves are absorbed by the food. Most of the heat is produced in an outer layer about an inch thick. So, large pieces of meat will be quickly cooked to a depth of about an inch, while the inside portions are cooked by heat conduction, just like in a conventional oven. This effect is different for different foods of course. If a food is mostly water, only the outside inch cooks at all. If a food is air and water (bread, etc.,) then the radio energy penetrates all the way through, and the food gets heated everywhere, even deep inside.

http://home.cvc.org/microwaves/microexp.htm#myth
The woman named her baby Paris after that harlot, or the city of stinky baggette eating homers. Either way the kid was going to burn sooner or later. Perhaps this strange heat was coming from a demon inside it.