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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
07-11-2015, 02:56 AM
I wonder if the stench of expelled flatus is as pleasing to the Lord as the aroma of burning dead animals?Genesis 8:20-21
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Unsaved trash, obese whore
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: in bed stuffing my face with Oreos
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
07-20-2015, 01:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
I wonder if the stench of expelled flatus is as pleasing to the Lord as the aroma of burning dead animals?Genesis 8:20-21
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Technically, you'd be right. Fart gas is rich in sulfur dioxide, a chemical known for its di*stinked*(badum-tss!) odor.
Meat is literally a carefully burned animal corpse(unless you prefer your meat raw, which is not only disgusting but dangerous). It also contains lots of sulfur dioxide, which is liberated from the meat's molecular structure during digestion.
Ipso facto, if you fart after eating meat, it would smell similar to if you lobbed those choice cuts into the grill you cooked it on.
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-21-2016, 01:54 AM
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-24-2016, 02:34 PM
This makes me intensely curious, even more so! After all, as God is three beings in one, how does He fart? Does He share one ***removed potty language*** with the other two beings?
Looking forward to an answer from the Informed,
Naomi the Butthole-Fetishist
Retard in the Church of Satan
Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-24-2016, 03:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
This makes me intensely curious, even more so! After all, as God is three beings in one, how does He fart? Does He share one butthole with the other two beings?
Looking forward to an answer from the Informed,
Naomi Forest
Priest of the Church of Satan
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Have you tried researching Scripture to find an answer to your unhealthy fascination with this subject?
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-24-2016, 04:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
This makes me intensely curious, even more so! After all, as God is three beings in one, how does He fart? Does He share one butthole with the other two beings?
Looking forward to an answer from the Informed,
Naomi Forest
Priest of the Church of Satan
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The Holy Bible is all the Information you need dear, and it's perfectly accessible. Exodus chapter 33 (Exodus 33:21-23 specifically) shows that the LORD allowed Moses to see His Glorious Backside, but Moses didn't tell anyone about it. He doesn't kiss and tell, so to speak.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-25-2016, 12:37 PM
Indeed. I have read the Bible, but as a stout devouter of the Church of Satan, I desire endless knowledge of various kinds of ***idiotic potty language removed*** subjects, including the Lord's Holy ***more potty language removed***. I need to know more, more and more. For I am Naomi the Butthole Fetishist, Retard of the Church of Satan, and Knowledge is unknown to me.
Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-25-2016, 02:47 PM
How immensely strange that my name has turned pink! Pink has always been my favorite color and I am immensely pleased by this. May I inquire as to what prompted this gracious change?
Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-25-2016, 02:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi the Butthole-Fetishist
How immensely strange that my name has turned pink! Pink has always been my favorite color and I am immensely pleased by this. May I inquire as to what prompted this gracious change?
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No. Actually, you may not.
James 4:3
Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Vancouver
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-22-2018, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I-Hate-Juice
My wife is very understanding of my high devotion towards following the Holy Book to the word, and therefore she promised to start making me beans with peas more often.
I have to start practicing on getting my "harp" into tune
Thanks for this, yet another, very informative post Brother!
YiC
Paavali
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Good luck YiC! God does want us to be healthy and happy. That's for sure. Not sure if I would glorify our bodily functions though . . . Keep in mind, there is a reason 'waste' is expelled rather than the other way around. God bless
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,439
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-22-2018, 11:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praisegodtogether
God does want us to be healthy and happy.
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God want's us to suffer to prove we are worthy of being saved.
Romans 8:17 " And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Unsaved trash, some kind of fag
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Posts: 585
Join Date: Jan 2012
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Re: God likes a good fart! -
02-23-2018, 08:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
Brother, your Godly understanding of the Bible is impressive, even amongst True Christians™!
I have a question, though, that maybe you'd be able to help me with. All of those verses you've brought up only refer to males refreshing their bowels. Would it be acceptable for a woman to let out a feminine toot once in a while, or do you think this would be considered a usurpation of a masculine activity by a weaker vessel?
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Our thoughts are not your thoughts and your ways are not our ways, due to words. How we use words is not the same now as it was so long ago when they thought air, wind and breath set us on fire and caused us to move, just like trees moved in the wind and, like us, could play harps. But it's not so. When a tree sways in the wind it's just the air. We sway too, but that's NOT the wind. When harps sing that's just the air but when we play them they're moved by the same thing that moves us. Which is NOT the air. Are gods just air?
Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.
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