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Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 12-23-2008, 03:49 AM

Terrorism doesn't just mean flying planes into buildings and throwing shoes, it also means sneaking peanut putter into public schools and, of course, sex offending.

The latest tactic of the sex offenders is something called "streaking". I'm not certain about the details, but it seems to be a sort of drive-by-bukkake, resulting in sticky white "streaks" on its victims.

I'm assuming it's like that because streakers are being registered as sex offenders:

...facing charges in the 10th Naked Pumpkin Run, a popular Oct. 31 tradition that involves pumpkin carving, beer and a late-night naked run down the mall.

All 12 people originally faced indecent exposure charges, which would have required them to register as sex offenders...


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 12-31-2008, 06:42 PM

Be on the lookout for young students in possession of curiosity, science labs, and anything that can be turned into something that will burn or do weird things when you ingest it:
Lewis Casey, an 18-year-old in Saskatchewan, had built a small chemistry lab in his family's garage near the university where he studies. Police arrived at his home with a search warrant and based on a quick survey of his lab determined that it was a meth lab. They pulled Casey out of the shower to interrogate him, and then arrested him.
A few days later, police admitted that Casey's chemistry lab wasn't a meth lab - but they kept him in jail, because he had some of the materials necessary to produce explosives.
Seems like a common occurance: everyone knows students, young people, and science-types are all up to something bad, even if we don't know exactly what, but it turns out there's a conspiracy: Friends and neighbors wrote dozens of letters to the court, testifying that Casey was innocent and merely a student who is really enthusiastic about chemistry.

Even his lawyer knows a suspicious amount about how to make I.E.D.s:
My client is a very intelligent young man . . . he's very keen in chemistry, a very curious young person and very capable, very knowledgeable in the area and he was always curious with regard to chemistry, chemical compounds, chemical reactions, that kind of thing. So from my client's point of view, it's completely innocent insofar as he had no intention of creating any explosives or explosive devices. As people probably know, anything in your house can constitute or be used in chemical or explosive devices, including sugar and cleaning compounds, Mr. Clean, bleach, detergents, all those sorts of things.
And where did he come across this info? Check their records: if they didn't spend last Spring Break drunk and disorderly in Mexico, they were obviously in an Al Queda training camp.


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 10-22-2009, 05:54 PM

Ever notice someone snapping a photo of the State Capitol? Paying cash for a used car? Or buying a pre-paid cell phone? You have witnessed a terrorist! Report to the Security Detail for interrogation RIGHT NOW!



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Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 10-02-2010, 06:55 AM

Did I mention that the whole idea behind neoconservatism is that we cannot show any weakness whatesoever? I mean, street thugs may look like they're compensating for something, but you still don't mess with them, do you? "Let them think we're compensating for something, so long as they fear us".

Overreaction NEVER shows weakness. That's a sign of strength. Just ask anyone strong.


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 09-15-2013, 04:35 PM

Fellow patriots, it's time to lock and load.

I have heard reports that a public-school math teacher was teaching children ARABIC NUMERALS!


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

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Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 09-17-2013, 02:01 PM

The Air Force Times reports that the area of the Washington Navy Yard where the shooting occurred was as well guarded as the pentagon itself:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Air Force Times
the public’s attention is shifting to security rules at Naval Sea Systems Command headquarters, a high-security building in the middle of the prestigious yard that is home to the Navy’s top officer and other admirals.

The headquarters, Building 197, contains classified and highly sensitive information about technical details of Navy ships and weapons, and it is closely guarded.

Visitors must first get access to the Washington Navy Yard with a military or civilian photo ID. The building is three blocks from the main gate. Those entering must go through an automated turnstile by flashing their NAVSEA badge. They are not allowed to bring in cellphones or photographic and recording devices, which can be exploited by foreign intelligence.

After passing through the turnstile overseen by the security guards at a desk, an employee can enter the lobby, which rises up to the building’s four-story height.

Guests must be checked in and turn in any recording devices. On a recent visit in June, a Navy Times reporter was required to lock his cellphone in a small locker outside the turnstiles before entering. The guest was not made to go through a metal detector but was constantly escorted by a staff member.

These security rules are comparable with those at the Pentagon.
What does this mean? It means THE PENTAGON IS VULNERABLE! Obviously the 1,000,000,000+ terrorists in America have found this out and are decending on the Pentagon right now! As every NRA member knows, mass shootings happen because we don't have enough armed kindergarten teachers and husky 12-year-old boys around.

Fellow patriots, your orders are to find husky 12-year old boys are deliver them to Pastor Ezekiel's learjet at Freehold Airport. Due to limited space, each boy may be individually screened to test for sufficient huskiness.


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 09-17-2013 at 06:25 PM.
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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 09-17-2013, 05:42 PM

What I want to know is why was a known Buddhist terrorist having access to the Navy Yard. I mean I understand that near every single sailor is as queer as the day is long but they do serve a purpose. The place is fenced in. There was no need to shot people while they were eating breakfast.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

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Default Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY! - 04-16-2015, 11:11 PM

April 16th '15: In a major security failure, clearly Obama's fault, which I will call Choppergate, a man used a weird, nerdy vehicle to get past a fence, allowing him entry into a public building. Worse, he was heavily armed with "letters to congress", which he could have used to dish out brutal papercuts. I hear there was a second conspirator on the "grassy knoll", so to speak, with lemon juice, to be rubbed into the papercuts of every member of congress.

On the bright side, I am reassured to see that people still have a healthy fear of the unusual, and distrust of weird people and their weird technology. Are you paying attention, nerds who want flying cars? You're never going to get them, because we can't risk having weird people going to public buildings with them.

Quote:
Even the guy from "The Hurt Locker" is afraid of nerdmobiles.


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