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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-21-2011, 11:23 PM
Most of you know that I am a man who likes to work with his hands. I am a lumberjack, a handy man, a beer drinker, and a Rod wielding family man. The only time my hands are empty is when they are together praying.
Well recently my hands have taken up a new implement: the acoustic guitar. God has placed a glorious song on my heart and I feel it is my Christian duty to share it with the world.
Lyrics:
Come on Down to Freehold, by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011
Freehold's a town where you can't come around
If you don't believe the Bible is perfectly sound
We stone 'em in the morning and we stone 'em in the night
'Cause we rely on the Bible to teach us wrong from right
Chorus:
So come on down to Freehold
Cast off your secular bonds
repent of your anal sex
and lay down your magical wands
Forget the environment forget the trees
Jesus will return you'd better be down on your knees
But not until we instigate World War III
Imperialize the world. It's good for the economy
Repeat Chorus
Unsaved trash like to take it in the ass
God will smite their genitals with a painful rash
God sends the AIDS when the homers all get laid
The poor keep on sinning while the righteous all get paid
Repeat Chorus twice
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
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Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 12:48 AM
What a lovely song.
I am confident that the beauty of GOD's Word, verbalised by such a talented melodist and lyricist extraordinaire, would touch the soul of even the most stubborn athiests.
Thank you BB, will you be performing live for the congregation?
6 A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 01:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WinnerNotSinner
What a lovely song.
I am confident that the beauty of GOD's Word, verbalised by such a talented melodist and lyricist extraordinaire, would touch the soul of even the most stubborn athiests.
Thank you BB, will you be performing live for the congregation?
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Thank you WinnerNotSinner. The Lord has indeed gifted me with a talent for country music. I know it is His Hand guiding my fingers across the strings because I have never even practiced!
At present, the Lord Jesus is teaching me an even more Christ-oriented piece called "Jesus Weren't No Joo", which I hope to perform as the congregants are arriving this Sunday.
I will be posting more Godly music in this thread from time to time. So stay tuned!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,479
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sinful north, near the Eskimos
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 05:16 AM
Now that is music. Not any gaysexual Bible tearing heavy metal but God loving real music. I would give this song LBC seal of approval™
YiC, M
Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
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Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 12:10 PM
Attending sock hops back in my youth, we teenagers were often called upon to pass judgement on new releases. The highest compliment we could offer was, "It has a good beat and I could dance to it."
Well, Brother Billy Bob, you have a real toe-tapper there and I could easily dance to it.
I'm going to talk to the Mayor this morning and see if can't pipe your tune into the elevators here in the courthouse.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 01:28 PM
Jesus Weren't No Jew by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011
Down there in Des Moines folks is fiddlin' with their loins
this is what some homer said to me
he said if you're such a Christian won't ya give this here a listen
he said Jesus was a Jew by heredity
Chorus:
I said Jesus weren't no Jew
He was a True Christian™ through and through
He was a Real Republican™ and an American™ too.
Jesus weren't no Jew
If you've never read the Bible then chances are you're liable
to think that Jesus may have been a Jew
but the literal interpretation of the King James translation
is written down in English not Hebrew
repeat Chorus
Some Godless Catholic who diddles little pricks said Christ had feet of bronze the Pope said so
I said the Book of Revelation calls America™ His nation
and says His head and hairs are white as snow
repeat Chorus twice
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 03:02 PM
Wonderful songs brother.
My 6 year old daughter Abishag loves them. If only you could her little voice loudly singing 'Jesus weren't no Jew'. I have tears in my eyes, so proud.
Glory!
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 03:36 PM
Glorious music Brother Jenkins. It's refreshing to hear songs free of hate and anal sex obsession. I am sure Jesus smiles upon the Divine Revelation of the songs.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 07:22 PM
I feel the Lord moving me to make another hit. I feel it in my toes. It will reach my fingers sometimes this afternoon.
He tells me it will be called "Ballad of a Bastard Son".
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 07:34 PM
Brother Billy;
I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 07:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Brother Billy;
I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?
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God willing.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 07:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Brother Billy;
I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?
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That would be wonderful. Boney M started the Psalm but never finished it. Brother Billy could do it properly. Can you imagine having a True Christian song at the top of the Hit Parade?
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 08:07 PM
Here is a song about a filthy sinner who God kills and sends to Hell forthwith. Victory is the Lord's!
Ballad of a Bastard Son by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011
Lyrics:
There once was a man with four fingers on his hand
the Lord had made a freak
his mortal cage was filled with rage
vengeance he would seek
his mother was a whore and his father was poor
he was a bastard son
of Jesus Christ he said nothing nice
of sodomy he said "it's fun"
so he went to California where the people are horny
and he began to sodomize
he raped little sluts in their faces and their butts
and sometimes he raped them twice
he spit on the flag and he marched with the fags
he voted democrat
he worshiped the pope and he smoked lots of dope
when they stood for the pledge, he sat
He mocked George Bush and had sex in the tush
he worshiped chimpanzees
he read God is Not Great, and it made him masturbate
so God smited him with disease
There was blood in his cough, and his genitals fell off
his flesh had a gangrenous smell
he died in great pain, cursing God's name
yes he died, and he went straight to Hell
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 09:29 PM
I love a song with a happy ending.
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 10:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Brother Billy;
I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?
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This one's for you, Deaner
Dash the Little Ones (Against the Stones) by the Godly mega-star Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011
Jephthah burned his daughter like a loyal Christian ought to
Josiah slew the priests and burned their bones
God mocks them with His laughter as they burn in the hereafter
So dash the little ones against the stones!
Dash the little ones...
they're too young to understand the death of the Son of Man
So dash the little ones against the stones
burn the non-believers for they are all deceivers
put their cattle to the sword and all they own
slaughter, rape, and pillage every Midianite village
and dash their little ones against the stones!
Dash the little ones...
Oblivious to Jesus, the Lord will do as He pleases
So dash the little ones against the stones
keep the virgins for yourselves but slaughter everyone else
kill them all so they cannot atone
kill the witches and the homers and the pagan idol owners
and dash their little ones against the stones!
Dash the little ones...
abortion is a crime, but killing kids is fine
So dash the little ones against the stones...
[fade out]
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 10:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Brother Billy;
I am not trying to intrude on a true artist's inspiration; but do you think you could whip something up about God's instruction's to smash babies head's on rocks?
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A Godly suggestion, Brother Deaner, however, I'm wondering if Brother Billy Bob may want to "ease" into that so as to not offend those with more sensitive feelings.
And here I'm thinking a nice follow-up to the title track might be "It's Okay to Beat Your Wife."
Then I'm thinking a logical next "cut" might be "You Really Need to Pop Your Daughter's Cherry So She Won't Be a Disappointment to Her Future Husband."
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
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Posts: 10,391
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Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 10:55 PM
A suggestion:
She-bear
A wholesome parable. A metaphor for what?
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 10:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
A Godly suggestion, Brother Deaner, however, I'm wondering if Brother Billy Bob may want to "ease" into that so as to not offend those with more sensitive feelings.
And here I'm thinking a nice follow-up to the title track might be "It's Okay to Beat Your Wife."
Then I'm thinking a logical next "cut" might be "You Really Need to Pop Your Daughter's Cherry So She Won't Be a Disappointment to Her Future Husband."
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Too late, Brother!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Last edited by Billy Bob Jenkins; 08-27-2011 at 04:46 PM.
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 11:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Too late, Brother!
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Oh, darn, Brother Billy Bob, I guess I missed those toe-tappers dealing with wife-beating and cherry-popping. Sorry.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
Last edited by Billy Bob Jenkins; 08-27-2011 at 04:46 PM.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins -
08-22-2011, 11:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Oh, darn, Brother Billy Bob, I guess I missed those toe-tappers dealing with wife-beating and cherry-popping. Sorry.
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Oh, not at all, Your Honor. I think I will do one on beating one's wife soon, though, since that is my specialty.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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