Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page New album coming April 16, 2010!
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Offcr. Albert Martin's Avatar
Offcr. Albert Martin Offcr. Albert Martin is offline
Unsaved Meter Maid
 
 
Posts: 250
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Iowa....or Maryland
Offcr. Albert Martin is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-13-2008, 09:21 PM

So, it's been a month; what's the status of the album?

Did it get pushed back? (If so, I'll have a HUGE belly laugh)


Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-13-2008, 11:54 PM

Mr Crossburn I am so honored to meet you!

Truly, you are Landover Baptist's own answer to Kinky Friedman (and the Texas Jewboys).

You also remind me of that nice Charlie Haggers from the old Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman TV show, shown here with Country-singing wife, Loretta. Glory!

Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,843
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-13-2008, 11:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
So, it's been a month; what's the status of the album?

Did it get pushed back? (If so, I'll have a HUGE belly laugh)
Well, you DO have a huge belly. The DOF passed us a copy of your latest fitness report. Too many stops at Dunkin Donuts between writing out those parking tickets, eh Rita?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Eugene Hackwith's Avatar
Eugene Hackwith Eugene Hackwith is offline
Farmer for Christ™
True Christian™

Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Tin Tither

 
Posts: 736
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Corn Belt
Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-14-2008, 12:05 AM

Now this is some Christian music I could actually listen to! Is it only going to be on compact disc? I only have a cassette player in my truck...


A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

Psalm 139:19-20
Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Roper Crossburn's Avatar
Roper Crossburn Roper Crossburn is offline
The Voice of Freehold
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian™ Cowboy Alternative Facts Roper Crossburn Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 63
Join Date: Mar 2008
Roper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-14-2008, 12:28 AM

Jesus Is Gonna Kill You! (©2008 Landover Baptist Records) is due for release on April 15 just as I announced, you shirt-lifting vampire. My concert schedule for the next few months will also be posted on that date.

Brother Hackwith, because this is a regional release (we've yet to find a nationwide record company that isn't run by Jew faggots) we can afford to cater to local interests a bit. See, most people in Freehold County are in the same position as you. So yes, I'm happy to say that there will be plenty of cassettes and vinyl records produced in addition to compact discs!

SUV, I've been on this Earth fifty-four years and I still blush when I get a compliment from a beautiful woman. The honor's all mine.

With Christ as my compass,



Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
Eugene Hackwith's Avatar
Eugene Hackwith Eugene Hackwith is offline
Farmer for Christ™
True Christian™

Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Tin Tither

 
Posts: 736
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Corn Belt
Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.Eugene Hackwith has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-14-2008, 12:35 AM

Praise the Lord! And only 2 more days until it's released. It's been a long, long time since I've found music that I can tolerate. I can't wait!


A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

Psalm 139:19-20
Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
 

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-16-2008, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
So, it's been a month; what's the status of the album?

Did it get pushed back? (If so, I'll have a HUGE belly laugh)
I thought you'd want it to be pushed back. That way, you'd have more time to save up your sofa-cushion change, so that this time, your PayPal payment wouldn't be declined.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
revrggreen's Avatar
revrggreen revrggreen is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 809
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Massachusetts
revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.revrggreen has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-16-2008, 09:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roper Crossburn View Post
2. Osamabamarama (with Johnny Rebel) (5:12)
Brother Crossburn, I noticed you perform a song on your bonus disk with 'Johnny Rebel'. I only mention it, as my wife is a huge fan of their musics. She often plays their soothing melodies while doing her Godly chores.

You couldn't possibly arrange for them to sign a copy, could you? I mean, as well as signing it yourself. My good lady wife would be most grateful. Glory!
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-17-2008, 07:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roper Crossburn View Post
SUV, I've been on this Earth fifty-four years and I still blush when I get a compliment from a beautiful woman. The honor's all mine.

With Christ as my compass,
Pastor! Can we keep him, can we keep him, I say, can we keep him?!
Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Roper Crossburn's Avatar
Roper Crossburn Roper Crossburn is offline
The Voice of Freehold
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian™ Cowboy Alternative Facts Roper Crossburn Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 63
Join Date: Mar 2008
Roper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-18-2008, 01:28 AM

Glory to God Almighty! The April 15 release of Jesus Is Gonna Kill You!(©2008 Landover Baptist Records) was a spectacular success.


At the autograph table.

I saw many familiar faces—and some new ones, all lit from within by the light of Christ™—at the signing party this Tuesday. It was a truly glorious occasion. Not only did Ted sell more records and Bibles than on any other day since his store's opening, but my new album became the fastest-selling release in the history of Freehold County! I couldn't have done it without Jesus... or the support of my loyal fans.


My gorgeous wife and songwriting partner, Mrs. Rosalie Wagner Crossburn.

For those who missed it, I also made an exciting and unexpected announcement: on November 3, 2008, I will be releasing a special all-covers EP through Landover Baptist Records. This disc, titled Nuthin' But A Jesus Thang (©2008 Landover Baptist Records) will be available throughout Freehold. As if that wasn't enough, I even gave an impromptu live performance of one of the songs from the upcoming release, a cover version of John Lennon's Imagine. The slightly modified lyrics are reprinted below.

Imagine you're in Heaven
It's easy if you tithe
Earth and Hell below us
Above us only Christ
Imagine all the sinners
Writhing in the fire...

Imagine there's no Muslims
It isn't hard to do
No sodomites or bulldykes
No atheists or Jews
Imagine all God's chosen
Living for eternity...

You may see I'm a Christian
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll accept Jesus
And the world will be as one

Imagine endless riches
I wonder if you can
Gas costs a buck a gallon
Every wife obeys her man
Imagine all Saved people
Laughing at the world...

You may see I'm a Christian
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll accept Jesus
And the world will live as one

In addition to this and the "rump-shakin'" title track, Nuthin' But A Jesus Thang (©2008 Landover Baptist Records) will include such future radio mainstays as Pastor Of Puppets, Should I Pray Or Should I Go (To Hell), and other Christian-themed pop country cover versions of the hot songs that all the kids are listening to. Available for only $8.99, this special release is sure to have heads nodding and voices raised in prayer all across the United States of Jesusland™.

Bathed in His blood,



Reply With Quote
(#31)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,843
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-18-2008, 05:38 AM

Praise Jesus I had a swell time at your new album party, Brother C! And I truly appreciate the 100 autographed copies of your newest CD that you donated to the Church. They'll be for sale on Ebay used as premium gifts for the Tin Tithers in the upcoming Landover Fundraising Week in mid May.

God Bless you Brother, and keep up the good Christian music. Glory!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#32)
Old
Dancing With Myself's Avatar
Dancing With Myself Dancing With Myself is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 122
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada, Qc.
Dancing With Myself is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-30-2008, 06:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
With such glowing recommendations, I may just let my wife listen to Mr. Crossburn's album while she cooks and cleans.
That seems a bit excessive to control your wife at such a measure?
Reply With Quote
(#33)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,737
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-30-2008, 07:10 PM

You seem to know a lot. Are you DWJ's sister?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#34)
Old
Roper Crossburn's Avatar
Roper Crossburn Roper Crossburn is offline
The Voice of Freehold
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian™ Cowboy Alternative Facts Roper Crossburn Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 63
Join Date: Mar 2008
Roper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 02-09-2009, 01:24 AM

Name:  herecomestheson.jpg
Views: 161
Size:  73.9 KB

It's a good time to be a Christian music fan. My sixth studio LP, HERE COMES THE SON (©2009 Landover Baptist Records) is hitting stores countywide on Saturday, April 18th, one day before Easter Sunday. Prepare to celebrate the anniversary of His Resurrection by purchasing this album and attending the "Meet 'N' Greet" autograph session at Ted's Bible and Music Store (35 Salvation Street) from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM on the day of the album's release.

The track listing is as follows:

1. Here Comes The Son (2:31)
2. O Sweet Sarah! (2:58)
3. Lord of Light (1:44)
4. It's Deuteronomy, Stupid! (2:01)
5. Coonmander In Thief (1:36)
6. (Turn The Homeless Into) Soap (1:39)
7. Days Of Vengeance (2:14)
8. Nuke Mecca (2:20)
9. Gay Bowel Blues (1:57)
10. Jeremiah Wrong (2:12)
11. Our God Is An Awesome God (2:03)
12. Stuck Inside Gomorrah With The Sodom Blues Again (3:14)
13. Ratzi The Nazi (0:56)
14. Rock Of Salvation (2:06)
15. James Earl Ray Day (1:22)
16. The Dawkins Delusion (2:16)
17. Sinners Die, Jesus Laughs (1:45)

With all due humility, I truly believe this is the best record I've ever made. You don't want to spend this Easter without it. I hope you'll enjoy listening to these songs as much as I've enjoyed singing them.

ROPER CROSSBURN - HERE COMES THE SON (©2009 Landover Baptist Records)
In Stores Countywide Saturday, April 18th!

Yours in Him,
Name:  6F2430D6EA597854793E70CEDB275DA6.png
Views: 160
Size:  1.1 KB



Reply With Quote
(#35)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 02-09-2009, 03:58 AM

~~~~Swooooooon~~~~

I think this is your best work yet Brother Crossburn!!!!

Please put me down for 20 copies. I plan on giving some as gifts so please be sure to autograph them for me.

Your most adoring fan!

Sister Thumper


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Swoon~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#36)
Old
JSaviour JSaviour is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In a monastery on a hill by a tree under a star
JSaviour is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-24-2009, 04:57 PM

Salutations my fellow good Christians. We must applaud this excellent show of worship. Together we can destroy Pop music and the evils which follow it about like Satan-stench.

I too am a Religious artist on the Crucifixion Records label. I, however, am trying to send the blasphemous hip-hop which destroys the minds of our good christian children straight to HELL and eternal damnation. I counter the sacreligious hip-hop by preaching God-tastic lyrics over the top of your favourite wonderfully harmonious versions of popular hymns.

My EP is out in December! Buy it now: JSaviour, The White Album

Tracklist:
1. If I had MC Hammer
2. A prayer for Eminem (Going to Hell)
3. The Lord's rap
4. The Ten Commandments
5. In Da Church

Here's a little taster:

In Da Church Lyrics (featuring the Eunuch choir of Venice):

[Pasta Giovanni]
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go JC
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a darn
It's not your birthday!

[Chorus] (2x)
You can find me in the church, now sit don't lurch
Listen to the sermon about God's good work
I'm into having sex once I'm married 'n' in love
So don't give me hug unless you want to get snubbed

[PURCHASE NOW TO HEAR MORE!!!]
Reply With Quote
(#37)
Old
Ugly_Kid_Joe's Avatar
Ugly_Kid_Joe Ugly_Kid_Joe is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Tin Tither Real American™

 
Posts: 271
Join Date: Mar 2009
Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Ugly_Kid_Joe has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-24-2009, 05:20 PM

No thank you, keep your "music" to yourself.
Reply With Quote
(#38)
Old
Rocking for JC's Avatar
Rocking for JC Rocking for JC is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 58
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In the light of the Lord
Rocking for JC is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Rocking for JC is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Rocking for JC is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 04-24-2009, 09:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ugly_Kid_Joe View Post
No thank you, keep your "music" to yourself.
Typical answer from an washed soul.


"Hear this, you kings! Listen, you rulers!
I will sing to the LORD, I will sing;
I will make music to the LORD, the God of Israel." - Judges 5:3
Reply With Quote
(#39)
Old
Rock4MyLord Rock4MyLord is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 103
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: New Jersey
Rock4MyLord is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Rock4MyLord is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 07-30-2009, 06:40 AM

There is a trick I use... I remove the E string from my bass because the notes on it are too low and inspire people to worship Satan.
Reply With Quote
(#40)
Old
Roper Crossburn's Avatar
Roper Crossburn Roper Crossburn is offline
The Voice of Freehold
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian™ Cowboy Alternative Facts Roper Crossburn Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 63
Join Date: Mar 2008
Roper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoper Crossburn has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Praise Jesus! My new album is almost here! - 02-08-2010, 01:27 AM

A major announcement is on the way. Expect it later this week. I don't want to give away any details ahead of time, but let me just say that this a big one -- something my fans have been waiting for all year -- and it's going to make a lot of people very happy. Trust me on this one.

Your pal,
Roper



Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
country music

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved