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Default Are there any double occupancy prayer rooms in Freehold? - 09-24-2021, 10:40 PM

I figure I would ask since I was inviting a fellow church member over to my quaint little shack in the outskirts to join me in my prayer closet tonight, but alas I appear to not have enough room. Are there any prayer rooms that are large enough that I can borrow to pray tonight with my friend in privacy?
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Default Re: Are there any double occupancy prayer rooms in Freehold? - 09-25-2021, 02:47 AM

OK, Flint Mansion tool shed but only if you and your friend use the tools later that night to clean my clogged pipes. Stay off the beaten track, my important and wealthy Russian and Saudi guests do not wish to be seen with less fortunate people.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Are there any double occupancy prayer rooms in Freehold? - 09-25-2021, 03:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
OK, Flint Mansion tool shed but only if you and your friend use the tools later that night to clean my clogged pipes. Stay off the beaten track, my important and wealthy Russian and Saudi guests do not wish to be seen with less fortunate people.
Oh yes sir M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel! We are here and ready to unclog your pipes til they are clean! Gonna give it that spit shine you love so much. I’ll be sure to come in quietly so nobody sees us like last time too. Oh thank you M̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ Pastor Ezekiel and bless you and your wondrous pipes!
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Default Re: Are there any double occupancy prayer rooms in Freehold? - 09-26-2021, 01:02 AM

There better not be any homosexual activity going on when you're in there praying or you WILL pay a cleaning and fumigation fee.


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Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Uncle Rutherford is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Are there any double occupancy prayer rooms in Freehold? - 09-26-2021, 05:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
There better not be any homosexual activity going on when you're in there praying or you WILL pay a cleaning and fumigation fee.
Upp…bwahhhh? Me? Of all people Doing homer things in Pastor Ezekiel’s tool shed? I would never. And you have my word as a True Christian ™️ on the honor of my Bible so there’s no need to check. It’s nothing more than a private prayer session between two men reciting verses excitedly to see what comes. Usually I come to see God himself talking to me, which has me down on me knees in excitement. Highly suggest you come sometime with me and try it out. Why, I may stay out of my own prayer closet for good if Pastor Ezekiel allows me to keep using his tool shed. Sure, having to unclog his pipes is a messy exchange, but that in itself is something I enjoy doing as well for Pastor Ezekiel so I don’t see any negative here.
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Default Re: Are there any double occupancy prayer rooms in Freehold? - 09-26-2021, 01:00 PM

Uncle Rutherford is as straight as Pastor Ezekiel. He's as straight as Donald Trump is upstanding and virtuous. He's as straight as Jesus Christ is Lord.

And judging by the picture of his shack he posted to Facebook, it's plenty big for two people provided that neither of them is obese.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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