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Rebuke Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-22-2021, 05:28 PM

Maybe I am old fashioned. Back in the day, we took attendance. Anyone not there, Bobby-Joe's DOF team would do a 'wellness check' and collect Tithes for failure to attend.
Instead of simply towing cars parked in the reserved spots and missing enameled grille emblems, collecting meager impound fees the autos are also auctioned off.
I have heard of a 'Green Carbon Tax' that could be instilled on all the messican wetback lawn people.
A meals tax on food servers.
Come on people, lets get creative, it is for Jesus!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-22-2021, 09:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Whoever heard of a Pastor preaching from a helicopter? How dare you. The loud noise from the blades would make it almost impossible for people to hear the Word of God from his wondrous mouth....
For some pastors, not being able to hear them would a distinct improvement. Not the case with our great Pastor Zeke, though.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-23-2021, 02:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy Kate Dumbardo View Post
Pastor Zeke should get a helicopter if he hasn't one already. Then he can install a Jesus nut.
We at Landover have insurance on Pastor Zeke's life. It is for an amount that has been called staggering. Even though prayer is our preferred weapon against tragedies like helicopter drive train failures, we are secular enough to count the dollars he brings in.

All that being the case, our insurance company has a lot of money hanging out there and will not allow Pastor Zeke on certain kinds of aircraft. I'm not sure about this helicopter. Looks doubtful to me.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-23-2021, 02:39 AM

And let me add, Mr. Mayor, that rumors of Pastor Zeke's lessening appeal in the 12-18 age group are greatly exaggerated. I would at least think the Committee would look at his Christmas numbers this year before weighing the collections against the insurance payout. In the event something were to happen, in a helicopter, say.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-23-2021, 03:00 AM



It's been years and years and still no jet. My priorities:
  1. The Jet. My houseboys are ageing and some of them are almost 15. Need to get to the Philippines asap to get new stock. Capische?
  2. The Bolsonaro deal did not work out. No decent houseboys there in Brazil. He can go and immerse himself in a deep frier for freedom fires as if I care.
  3. The hellycopter is OK as an accessory. I could just picture myself using it for short hops between the Flint Mansion and the Church, for example. But only AFTER the jet is secured. And ONLY if it is the brand new Sikorsky S-92 VIP Configuration.


Extra tithes this Sunday, be there!


YIC, Zeke


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Bible Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-23-2021, 02:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post


Extra tithes this Sunday, be there!

YIC, Zeke
Oh, dearie me. One wonders if people are somehow distracted — not paying careful attention — and, therefore, in need of a few more reminders regarding their financial duties. We know that if they lapse in their tithes, then they are stealing from the : Almighty !

Malachi 3:8-10:
8 Will a man rob ? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.
9 Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

Proverbs 3:9: "Honor the with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:"

I may be wrong (although, I doubt it), but I think that some people may be befuddled, by similar requests for money. Certainly, there is no shortage of requests from other ministers — such as this, pertaining to Jesse Duplantis:

Quote:
Please say a prayer for Jesse Duplantis. I passed by our beloved preacher's mansion today and it appears it has sustained roof damage from the storm. Please send in a few extra hundred dollars this month to help him with this catastrophic incident. May the Lord bless you for your kindness


https://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/...ntis/98478791/

Or, this, from Jesse, himself:

Quote:
“I honestly believe this. That the reason why has not come is that people are not giving what has told them to give. You see what I’m saying? I mean, when you understand, you can speed up the time.

“I really believe this. If people would call this number and put this victory all over the world – every available voice, every available outlet – the Father, he would say, ‘, go get them.’
I do apologize for providing a link to a worldly site:

https://www.joemygod.com/2021/09/televangelist-jesse-duplantis-jesus-hasnt-come-back-yet-because-people-havent-sent-me-enough-money/

And, then there is the recent demand for more money from Kenneth Copeland (again!) — for his new jet:

Quote:
Kenneth Copeland: I need my private jet because airlines want me to take the ‘mark of the beast’

“You get into this situation — we’re not gonna let you fly unless you’re vaccinated. Well, to me, that’s the Mark of the Beast.”
https://deadstate.org/kenneth-copela...-of-the-beast/

So, with requests such as this, it is very possible that people are bamboozled, and in need of guidance as to which funding is the most important. It is my prayer that the Work of — here at and as delivered by dear — shall be first and foremost, in receiving ALL of the tithes that belong to .



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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-24-2021, 12:44 AM

Better add a helicopter hanger to the Airbus specs.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-25-2021, 01:19 AM

Yet another competitor in evangelism, Kenneth Copeland, wants to compete with Pastor Zeke in prestige and influence. He is admonishing his followers to pony up money for a new jet. I have not read what jet he wants to buy, but it seems like he is intent on moving up. Surely he doesn't think he is in the league with Pastor Zeke and the Airbus 380A we will be buying soon. Here is what his puny current jet looks like. I think it is the mundane and laughable Cessna Citation:



Kenneth Copeland asks for money for private jet | Church & Ministries News (christianpost.com)


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-25-2021, 03:57 AM

"any sentence with the word 'Cessna' in it"
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-25-2021, 04:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
Better add a helicopter hangar to the Airbus specs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
...in the league with Pastor Zeke and the Airbus 320A we will be buying...
What happened to the A380 from 2015?

You're never going to fit a copter in a 320, and they're not making any more 380s.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-25-2021, 07:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
What happened to the A380 from 2015?

You're never going to fit a copter in a 320, and they're not making any more 380s.
An-225 still available.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-25-2021, 07:32 AM

Matthew 19:24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.



People - Jesus said it best, get your tithes to the Church, this jet thing is important, apparently.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-25-2021, 09:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Yet another competitor in evangelism, Kenneth Copeland, wants to compete with Pastor Zeke in prestige and influence. He is admonishing his followers to pony up money for a new jet. I have not read what jet he wants to buy, but it seems like he is intent on moving up. Surely he doesn't think he is in the league with Pastor Zeke and the Airbus 380A we will be buying soon. Here is what his puny current jet looks like. I think it is the mundane and laughable Cessna Citation:



Kenneth Copeland asks for money for private jet | Church & Ministries News (christianpost.com)
And, Kenneth Copeland is not the only preacher who is in competition with our beloved , dear Brother Mayor Hold. News keeps surfacing about Creflo Dollar, and his mi$$ion to get a new jet plane:



And, just to show how serious Creflo $$$$ is, here we see him (and a friend) running over money — plenty of it — to anoint it, and to inspire the people to give even more money! With this in mind, we must "pick up our paces", to ensure that the needs of dear are met — as ordered by !

Luke 6:38 "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."



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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-26-2021, 12:51 AM

I just spoke with a friend in finance, and they're projecting that we'll have a record-breaking day of tithing tomorrow. GLORY!

We usually clear $15 million or so profit on an evangelism tour of Africa, not to mention the souls we save. Perhaps we should run another outreach mission to the darkie continent this year to fuel up the Airbus fund.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-26-2021, 02:57 PM

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Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
We usually clear $15 million or so profit on an evangelism tour of Africa, not to mention the souls we save. Perhaps we should run another outreach mission to fuel up the Airbus fund.
Great idea, Brother Dnow. I'll bring it up with Pastor Zeke. The trouble we are having is that Creflo, Copeland and Joyce Meyer to jetting over there themselves to bring home their own loads of cash. They are booking venues right near airports so it's in and out for them. Those are the same venues we want for Pastor Zeke. We don't want Pastor Zeke to spend his valuable time driving around the dark continent. Saving souls is great but each one has to generate revenue for Jesus and the work we do at Landover Baptist.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-26-2021, 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
I just spoke with a friend in finance, and they're projecting that we'll have a record-breaking day of tithing tomorrow. GLORY!

We usually clear $15 million or so profit on an evangelism tour of Africa, not to mention the souls we save. Perhaps we should run another outreach mission to the darkie continent this year to fuel up the Airbus fund.
Oh, I do hope that this tithing increase has taken place, dear Brother Dnow. Goodness; it appears that our beloved has a bit of catching up to do, pertaining to Kenneth Copeland's jet plane campaign.

Quote:
“The time has come for ministries, particularly traveling ministries, to have some other method of travel other than the airlines,” Copeland, the 84-year-old head of Kenneth Copeland Ministries, said on Tuesday during a “VICTORYthon” fundraiser.
Quote:
Copeland, who with his wife, Gloria, often promotes the prosperity gospel, reportedly already owns three jets and a private airport.

In an interview with Inside Edition in 2019, the Texas-based televangelist said he needed a private jet so he wouldn’t have to fly commercial with what he dubbed “a bunch of demons.”
https://www.christianpost.com/news/k...ivate-jet.html
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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-27-2021, 12:24 AM

I know that Pastor Copeland is a humble and selfless man of God, but I don't understand why any Christian should be afraid of demons. After all, we have the power of Jesus on our side! When Pastor Ezekiel approaches, demons run away in fear, not the other way around.


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Default Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee. - 09-27-2021, 01:13 AM

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I know that Pastor Copeland is a humble and selfless man of God, but I don't understand why any Christian should be afraid of demons. After all, we have the power of Jesus on our side! When Pastor Ezekiel approaches, demons run away in fear, not the other way around.
Well, it certainly is puzzling, dear Brother Dnow. You're right about how it's been assumed that Pastor Copeland is very close to the . Although, come to think of it, I do recall a bit of controversy over one thing, or another. I'm afraid I cannot remember the details much, but the attached photos show that others might not hold him in such high regard. Oh, well; he can always repent if he's in the wrong — although he will never the that our beloved is!





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