The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-23-2016, 11:01 PM
Boys and girls, families with children, get read for some fun.
With the approval of Vladimir Putin and mayor Johny Joe Hold, the Russian traveling circus Ivanovo has officially accepted the invitation for this marvelous and hillarious new circus to perform in Freehold, Iowa on March 1, Super Tuesday, right in time for our 100th Donald Trump support rally. This circus has been widely slammed and persecuted by the God-hating liberal media, but we know they are well meaning and just wants you and your children to have fun at the expense of a stupid animal that God created for us to subdue and do whatever we want with (Genesis 1:28).
What could be a better way to show this than inviting a cirus with a stupid bear that has been beaten to sing, dance, play music instruments and other stupid tricks for our entertainment?
Watch amazing acts like:
The polar bear singing!
The polar bear playing musical instruments!
The polar bear dancing!
Ivanovo Circus are also preparing a whole new number exclusively for us with the polar bear roar to the tones of the all time classic "Jesus is a Friend of Mine" by Sonseed.
This can't be missed! Buy your tickets at mayor's office this week.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-24-2016, 03:29 AM
Mrs Denisenko is a close friend of mine, and we have shared many training tips with one another. Much of what works on bears turns out to work on wives and Asians, and vice versa.
I look forward to seeing her and that soon-to-be fireplace adorning rug again soon.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-24-2016, 04:36 AM
Thank you, Brother Bjorn, for providing us with some publicity.
It is indeed an honor to host the Russians and the singing polar bear.
We're expecting an endorsement from animal rights people. The polar may go extinct unless they find some new use and place for it. What could be better than hundreds of polar bears bouncing around in trailers singing at small town events.
We're hoping for robust ticket sales.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-24-2016, 04:40 AM
We do not have bears in my home country which is Jamaica. Never the less we are afraid of them. It is said that a witch woman can summon up a she bear. White people are enough trouble all by themselves. I do not want to be around a white bear.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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True Christians™
True Christian™
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Posts: 163
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Mountain Grove, Missouri
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-24-2016, 04:48 AM
Franklin here.
What fun this should be.
I do have one question -- does anyone know how one could go about applying for a job with this company? I have a Grandson that I have seen play a similar instrument to the Blue one in the second picture, but it involves water at the Bottom. I do not know the technical term.
He has been out of work for a while, and I will no longer be sending him any money. This would greatly help him.
Regards, Franklin
Just a loving, saved, MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL couple sharing this account! Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hi Carol, not sure why the Face book isn't typing out my letters, LOL. I hope you can see this message, none of the letters are going in the box. Maybe they are invisible? We do not really understand Computers or Technology. I will have to ask Anita about this. See you tomor
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-24-2016, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Thank you, Brother Bjorn, for providing us with some publicity.
It is indeed an honor to host the Russians and the singing polar bear.
We're expecting an endorsement from animal rights people. The polar may go extinct unless they find some new use and place for it. What could be better than hundreds of polar bears bouncing around in trailers singing at small town events.
We're hoping for robust ticket sales.
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The animal rights crowd won't be a problem this time. I called Ivanovo and they have employed a Russian private security company with 10 heavily armed guards who will be standing around the tent, ready to take use of Freehold's local Stand Your Ground law at any moment.
They also informed me that the audience will be allowed to throw rotten eggs and tomatoes on the animals when failing to perform the tricks, so don't forget to bring that with you.
After the show, local children will be allowed to dress up and play bear-trainer for a moment and try to teach the muzzled polar bear new tricks with electric cattle prods.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-24-2016, 08:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bjorn Jensen
After the show, local children will be allowed to dress up and play bear-trainer for a moment and try to teach the muzzled polar bear new tricks with electric cattle prods.
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I like the invovative muzzle the Russians use. It is just some inexpensive wire wrapped around the bear's mouth. Children could be given this kind of wire free at the event.
They could practice for bear training by wrapping the muzzel on their pet dog.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-25-2016, 05:55 AM
You know that I'll be there.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-25-2016, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
You know that I'll be there.
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I was thinking about you reading this thread, Pastor. I'm sure that the circus will agree to part with one of their bears for the permission to perform in Freehold.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-25-2016, 10:11 PM
Indeed, a polar bear would be a great addition to the Landover Baptist church basement zoo, or Zeke's game hunting ranch.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-25-2016, 10:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bjorn Jensen
With the approval of Vladimir Putin and mayor Johny Joe Hold, the Russian traveling circus Ivanovo has officially accepted the invitation for this marvelous and hillarious new circus to perform in Freehold, Iowa on March 1, Super Tuesday, right in time for our 100th Donald Trump support rally.
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What an excellent initiative! I assume after the show we shoot the bear for our weekly endangered species barbeque? I'll bring my 1895G as my bazooka is at The Landover Baptist Gun Store for repairs.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-25-2016, 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
...my bazooka is at The Landover Baptist Gun Store for repairs.
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Wait, you're actually letting Bobby-Joe touch that thing, let alone attempt to fix it?
You really do want to "meet Jesus" soon, huh?
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-26-2016, 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
What an excellent initiative! I assume after the show we shoot the bear for our weekly endangered species barbeque? I'll bring my 1895G as my bazooka is at The Landover Baptist Gun Store for repairs.
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Well, in this case we'll have to procure two she-bears: one as a gift for Pastor Ezekiel and the other one for the barbecue!
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-26-2016, 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Well, in this case we'll have to procure two she-bears: one as a gift for Pastor Ezekiel and the other one for the barbecue!
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I count my blessings that I do not live anywhere near Freehold if you have she bears there. Those are very dangerous and I do not want them to be around me. Sometimes they are sent by witches.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-26-2016, 08:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
I count my blessings that I do not live anywhere near Freehold if you have she bears there. Those are very dangerous and I do not want them to be around me. Sometimes they are sent by witches.
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According to the Holy Bible, she-bears are Godly creatures whom God uses to do His dirty work:
2 Kings 2:23-24
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-27-2016, 02:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
According to the Holy Bible, she-bears are Godly creatures ...
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This is true Sistren but in my home country which is Jamaica it is believed that a witch can summon them up. A she bear is to be much feared in my country. We do not have any bears at all and so any that come are sent by sorcery. I have heard that it happens some times.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-27-2016, 06:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
According to the Holy Bible, she-bears are Godly creatures :
2 Kings 2:23-24
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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I was so proud to name the mascot of the Freehold Public School football team the SHEBEARS. They represent the best in Christian values as they bravely take on all opponents.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-28-2016, 01:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
This is true Sistren
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I might have put on a few pounds less then a pound in the recent months (the winter is cold and there's snow and ice on my running routes), but I am highly offended by your suggestion that I'm as huge as a cistern.
Quote:
but in my home country which is Jamaica it is believed that a witch can summon them up.
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It ain't in the Bible so it ain't true. You've been spending way too much time at that university of yours. So called "higher" education is a well-known source of liberal poison.
Quote:
A she bear is to be much feared in my country. We do not have any bears at all and so any that come are sent by sorcery. I have heard that it happens some times.
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These are just some stupid superstitions. As proven in the Holy Bible, it is God who sends the she-bears.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
02-29-2016, 07:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
You know that I'll be there.
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You are the man! It will be a busy night for you, attending the circus and then standing beside the Donald at the Victory Celebration on Super Tuesday. It must be at least a minor irritation that your new aircraft is not yet ready, as that would have cut 20 minutes off your travel time.
Phil
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Ivanovo Circus with Singing Polar Bear to perform in Freehold -
03-01-2016, 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander
You are the man! It will be a busy night for you, attending the circus and then standing beside the Donald at the Victory Celebration on Super Tuesday. It must be at least a minor irritation that your new aircraft is not yet ready, as that would have cut 20 minutes off your travel time.
Phil
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That's right! WHY isn't my plane ready yet, people?? Has it even been ordered yet? Do you want me to be a laughing stock?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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