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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 09-23-2012, 10:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann View Post
<br />
None of them, it is my personal belief that god created the bible and let man do as they will as a sort of "test."<br />...
So, #1 then.

Quote:
...And the reason that our earliest copies match todays is that people in political and religious power (as displayed throughout all of human history) love to torch, or burn all records of, anything that contradicts what they have to say or what they want to happen. <br />...
Ah, but the problem is, we HAVE those records still (Dead Sea scrolls, etc.) which prove that Scripture has NOT been changed.

Your scenario is applicable to the Koran, though. The original compiler destroyed all the source documentation (almost 200 years after Mohammed's time) so no uncomfortable questions can be asked, let alone answered.

Quote:
...Now, I would go deaper into the toppic, after all I have put years of study into this whole thing, but arguing with biblical literalists gets boring after a while and I don't like being bored. So I will continue this entertainingly heated debate after I am done wallowing in my boredom.
What heated debate? You're getting schooled, while offering no support for your blasphemous personal opinions (which is all they are until you offer evidence of anything you purport to be truth).


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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 09-23-2012, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklen Mann View Post
Also, one last post before I dismiss myself.
May I kindly request that I be banned from this website?
I believe I have stated all that I need to state, and little more will ever be necessary.
Besides, I probably should be banned anyway, I generally discuss extremely controversial things and I question most things I hear. I in turn have a very debate centered personality.

That being said, as an apology for my misunderstanding, as well as due to my own person disgust I will kindly request a ban from a moderator on this forum.
Dear Hatemonger;

I'm sorry, but it is our policy NEVER to remove the account of an unsaved fool. Your belligerent hatemongering will remain for future unsaved scum to see and learn from for all eternity (or until Jesus returns to slay most of the earth, whichever comes first).

Jesus called you here for a reason, so you might rethink your selfish tantrum and stick around.

If you'd really like to remove yourself from our Godly forum, all you need to do is to click on that tiny red "x" in the upper righthand corner of your computer screen. Then close your computer, stand up, and walk away.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-13-2012, 03:15 AM

So, I'm just wondering...

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but this section is all about getting people to not be gay, and you're planning on doing this by getting them to love another man?

Did I get that right?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-13-2012, 03:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoofJ View Post
So, I'm just wondering...

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but this section is all about getting people to not be gay, and you're planning on doing this by getting them to love another man?

Did I get that right?
What in God's name are you talking about freak?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-13-2012, 03:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
What in God's name are you talking about freak?
I'm talking about loving Jesus. Who, as it says in the bible, is a man.

Also, I have to wait five minutes between posts, so please be patient.


Luke 12:10
But unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-13-2012, 03:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoofJ View Post
Also, I have to wait five minutes between posts, so please be patient.
Write me a sincere prayer to Baby Jesus and I'll change it for you.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-13-2012, 03:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
Write me a sincere prayer to Baby Jesus and I'll change it for you.
I'm not too concerned about the wait time, I was just mentioning that my response might be a bit later than others.
Although I did try to write you a personal message, but it seems to be disabled. (Or not available on this forum)

However, I'm still curious if I got your plan right.

Having gay men become straight by making them love another man (jesus).


Luke 12:10
But unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-13-2012, 06:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGoofTurd View Post
I'm not too concerned about the wait time, I was just mentioning that my response might be a bit later than others.
Although I did try to write you a personal message, but it seems to be disabled. (Or not available on this forum)

However, I'm still curious if I got your plan right.

Having gay men become straight by making them love another man (jesus).
Do you seriously put an equality sign between the Love True Christians have for Jesus and the kind of love you have for your homo boyfriend? How old are you?


Stop whining
(1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
(1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
(Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
(Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers
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Thumbs up 07-16-2013, 04:35 PM

im gay yay
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 04:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
im gay yay
Why do you hate Jesus?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 04:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
Why do you hate Jesus?
I don't "hate Jesus", I just don't believe in his existence, and I'm free to be gay wether I believe in Jesus or not.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 04:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
I don't "hate Jesus", I just don't believe in his existence, and I'm free to be gay wether I believe in Jesus or not.
You spit in the face of baby Jesus by choosing gaysexual deathstyle over infinite love He offers in the form of salvation. God hate gaysexuals. You must leave your twisted gaysexual ways behind and become an ex-gay if you want a shot at salvation.

Stop the hatred, stop spitting in the face of baby Jesus today and start making things right with Him. That's why Jesus made you come to this forum in the first place.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
You spit in the face of baby Jesus by choosing gaysexual deathstyle over infinite love He offers in the form of salvation. God hate gaysexuals. You must leave your twisted gaysexual ways behind and become an ex-gay if you want a shot at salvation.

Stop the hatred, stop spitting in the face of baby Jesus today and start making things right with Him. That's why Jesus made you come to this forum in the first place.
Are you saying that your God hates me, simply for the gender of the people I fall in love with? Isn't that a little extreme? (Sorry if i miss spell something, I'm not English or American or anything.)

And what REALLY made me come here, was that a friend sendt me a link here because she finds you all fun to watch.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
Are you saying that your God hates me, simply for the gender of the people I fall in love with?
Yes

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
And what REALLY made me come here, was that a friend sendt me a link here because she finds you all fun to watch.
That's what you keep saying to yourself. In reality, you know it in your black heathen heart, that is was a Jesus that made you come here so you could see the error of your ways.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
Yes

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.



That's what you keep saying to yourself. In reality, you know it in your black heathen heart, that is was a Jesus that made you come here so you could see the error of your ways.
I haven't "lied" with anyone, considering I'm just a child and it's illegal. And besides, I don't follow the bible, I follow the law, the one that actually counts for everyone, not only those in a certain religion.


I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh or cry right now. That's just -- I don't even know. If Jesus does exist, I doubt that he'd make me come here to "see wht's wrong with me."
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
I don't "hate Jesus", I just don't believe in his existence, and I'm free to be gay wether I believe in Jesus or not.
I'm glad you admit that being gay is a choice.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:22 PM

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Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
Are you saying that your God hates me, simply for the gender of the people I fall in love with?

It isn't love at all, my friend. It is simply genital lust that you know in your heart is wrong. I don't know if you are a male or female queer, but the former seeks the rectum, and the latter another woman's quim to grind against. In either case, Jesus weeps, but He can help if you are ready to admit what hoplessly lost scum you are without Him? Will you let His warm love inside you this day?

In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:27 PM

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I'm glad you admit that being gay is a choice.
That's not what I meant, and I'm pretty sure you know that, but I'm not going to argue about that.
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:27 PM

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Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
considering I'm just a child and it's illegal.
Well, practically all gaysexuals are pedophiles as well, so it's no suprise. I agree though that gaysex should be illegal.

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Originally Posted by Once Upon A Time View Post
I don't follow the bible
That is why you will burn in hell. That is exactly why you were send here by the Lord, it's not too late for you start following the bible and make things right with Jesus.

Repent heathen! Get on your knees and allow Jesus enter you today. Let Him fill you with love.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-16-2013, 05:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
It isn't love at all, my friend. It is simply genital lust that you know in your heart is wrong. I don't know if you are a male or female queer, but the former seeks the rectum, and the latter another woman's quim to grind against. In either case, Jesus weeps, but He can help if you are ready to admit what hoplessly lost scum you are without Him? Will you let His warm love inside you this day?

In Christ
Who are you to decide wether it's love or not? I know that it isn't wrong, and that everyone is free to do what they want to do with someone else (as long as it's consensual). And I'm a female, og girl rater, and I don't seek "another woman's quim" or whatever you want to call it, as I am a child and don't need that kind of things.

And by calling me scum (insulting a child, that's nice of you), you're saying that you're worth more than me bacause you're straight? That's just stupid.
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