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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Question Sermon For Men Only - 09-15-2019, 10:58 PM

At my church here in godless NYC today, the pastor preached about something so serious and important that he restricted the congregation to be men only. The women and girls were sent to the church basement to make cookies, soups, and various other tasty items for the men once the sermon was complete. Those females who tried to stay upstairs were sent home, and four men guarded each doorway.


The sermon, which was at least 1000 times less dynamic than Pastor Ezekiel's worst preaching (if such a thing exists), was about the mystery of the fig leaf and how its power should be exercised by all males everywhere but never spoken of in the presence of those of the weaker gender.


Since nosey women poke in this forum all the time, I can't speak of it here but I am sure every man of Landover Baptist Church is aware of its truth and its ability to be a life-changing secret. So then, I am curious. What say ye all about this, one the most mysterious mysteries the LORD GOD promised us?


And what of the man Zebedee Franklinson, that West Virginia pioneer who taught the fig leaf story to residents of Martinsburg, W. VA. in the early 1800's? Was he a prophet or a charlatan? I know of no more knowledgeable men than here; I await your teaching as a hungry-for-the-truth young man.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Sermon For Men Only - 09-19-2019, 01:50 AM

I am so grateful that I can count on my brethren to provide sound wisdom and teaching whenever I ask for it. Overwhelming joy makes my heartstrings zing.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Sermon For Men Only - 09-19-2019, 03:03 AM

I was going to comment on it, Brother Larry, but this part of the forum is for men only, so I don't read the threads and posts here. But if I did, I'm sure whatever you were talking about was just as fascinating at you are.


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
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