Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Reload this Page Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry.
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Bubba Buck's Avatar
Bubba Buck Bubba Buck is offline
Toilet Biter
Forum Member

Flat Earth Porn Resistant Cancer on Society Rides the Short Bus Caution - Poster is Crazy Full of it Perv

 
Posts: 274
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-20-2016, 02:41 AM

I only ask that the one I am seeking is a True Christian™ female and has not previously been married before. Do not expect me to enjoy fornication with you. I am only seeking a woman who will obey me and will understand that our marriage is strictly to recruit more soldiers for the Lord. If you are into that fangled jazz music, you can turn around now. Understand that I will not love you more than Brother Harry Porter who has reformed me of the gay ways. Also understand that NOBODY will have my attention more than Jesus Christ. Any takers?
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,732
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-20-2016, 09:12 AM

At this point in human history almost everything has been tried and has worked to gain marriage; I'm pretty sure this will too.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-20-2016, 01:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck View Post
I only ask that the one I am seeking is a True Christian™ female and has not previously been married before. Do not expect me to enjoy fornication with you. I am only seeking a woman who will obey me and will understand that our marriage is strictly to recruit more soldiers for the Lord. If you are into that fangled jazz music, you can turn around now. Understand that I will not love you more than Brother Harry Porter who has reformed me of the gay ways. Also understand that NOBODY will have my attention more than Jesus Christ. Any takers?

Brother Bubba,
As you may have discovered from hopping about the forums gaily, (happily), I am also unwed. It appears you are significantly older than I, having spent most of your life in the sin of homerism, missing out on the joy of having a True Christian™ in your life.


It will likely be harder for you to find someone than I, but it has proven quite difficult even for a handsome, young, hard-bodied certified equine gnathologist about to become a veterinarian by mail. My prayer for you is simple: that you find much comfort and respite in the ministries of Brother Porter until the right spinster comes along and takes pity on you. Brother Porter will happily provide after care (have you discussed his fees?) until the next young buck comes along to take your place. Then, of course, he'll have to devote himself to that person and so on and so on and so on. Praise God!


In your loneliness, remember that GOD never forsakes you (Deuteronomy 31:8) (Hebrews 13:5) so you will never truly be alone. Stay on your knees, brother, and wallow in the love of the LORD.


In friendship,
BrotherLarry


PS: Pastor Ezekiel is back. If you haven't started tithing I highly recommend it. Like, um, today.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 11,139
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-21-2016, 01:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck View Post
I only ask that the one I am seeking is a True Christian™ female and has not previously been married before. Do not expect me to enjoy fornication with you. I am only seeking a woman who will obey me and will understand that our marriage is strictly to recruit more soldiers for the Lord. If you are into that fangled jazz music, you can turn around now. Understand that I will not love you more than Brother Harry Porter who has reformed me of the gay ways. Also understand that NOBODY will have my attention more than Jesus Christ. Any takers?


I'd need to see your income tax returns for the past 10 years. As a delicate True Christian™ lady I just cannot be exposed to the harsh living conditions of a person earning less than six figures, I'm sure you understand.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Bubba Buck's Avatar
Bubba Buck Bubba Buck is offline
Toilet Biter
Forum Member

Flat Earth Porn Resistant Cancer on Society Rides the Short Bus Caution - Poster is Crazy Full of it Perv

 
Posts: 274
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Bubba Buck is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Trump Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-21-2016, 05:52 AM

Oh of course Maam. I am the most successful pig trainer in the entire country of the United States. I have trained pigs to play baseball, manage farm lands, and even have some pigs who are working on Donald Trump's campaign trails. My clientelle pay me very well for my services and I make about 340k a year. Mind you that a lot of that goes towards tithing, however. I go beyond the customary 10 percent too. If you cannot handle this, I am afraid it may not work out for you.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 11,139
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-21-2016, 01:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck View Post
Oh of course Maam. I am the most successful pig trainer in the entire country of the United States. I have trained pigs to play baseball, manage farm lands, and even have some pigs who are working on Donald Trump's campaign trails. My clientelle pay me very well for my services and I make about 340k a year. Mind you that a lot of that goes towards tithing, however. I go beyond the customary 10 percent too. If you cannot handle this, I am afraid it may not work out for you.
I dunno, there's something fishy about you. I'll better leave it in the hands of our Department of Faith, dear. Later, my Pastor will advise me how to proceed based on the DoF recommendation.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-21-2016, 01:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
I dunno, there's something fishy about you. I'll better leave it in the hands of our Department of Faith, dear. Later, my Pastor will advise me how to proceed based on the DoF recommendation.

I think you are doing the right thing, so as not to break Bubba's heart. As Carlos Castenada said:


“Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use.”


As many know, Castenada is an American spic born in Peru, Mexico. He wrote books and stuff - highly unusual for messicans.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 11,139
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-21-2016, 02:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
I think you are doing the right thing, so as not to break Bubba's heart.
Exactly. Let the DoF do it for me!

Quote:
As many know, Castenada is an American spic born in Peru, Mexico. He wrote books and stuff - highly unusual for messicans.
And according to people who knew him, the easiest/quickest way to make him angry was to call him the original version of his last name, "Castañeda." Apparently it was a true joy to see him transform from a calm guru into a raging crazy person with a simple nasalization of an alveolar consonant!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 6,785
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-22-2016, 09:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
alveolar
Oh, dear, should we be discussing such things here?


Distressedly Yours,


Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,211
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-24-2016, 05:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Oh, dear, should we be discussing such things here?


Distressedly Yours,


Handmaiden
Sister Handy,

As a certified equine gnathologist and future veterinarian and Creation Scientist, I took the time to research this and came up with the result that this is a perfectly tame anatomical term. In gnathology, we often have to concern ourselves with the jaw section containing the tooth sockets. This presents itself in humans also. There are also alveoli in the lungs; alveolar can refer to that as well. I hope this relaxes your pretty mind.

Since you said you have horse teeth, it is useful information to possess. My offer is still open to examine you thoroughly and begin treatment recommendations in conjunction with a human dentist.

In True Christian™ Concern,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Michael Hezekiah Esq's Avatar
Michael Hezekiah Esq Michael Hezekiah Esq is offline
Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
 

Christ-Killer Potty mouth Democrat Homer Bleeding heart liebral Sinner Caution - Poster is Crazy Caution - Poster is on Drugs

 
Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Cool Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-24-2016, 06:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Sister Handy,

As a certified equine gnathologist and future veterinarian and Creation Scientist, I took the time to research this and came up with the result that this is a perfectly tame anatomical term. In gnathology, we often have to concern ourselves with the jaw section containing the tooth sockets. This presents itself in humans also. There are also alveoli in the lungs; alveolar can refer to that as well. I hope this relaxes your pretty mind.

Since you said you have horse teeth, it is useful information to possess. My offer is still open to examine you thoroughly and begin treatment recommendations in conjunction with a human dentist.

In True Christian™ Concern,
BrotherLarry
Larry, my friend,

First of all, I am investigating these trademarks and copyrights found throughout this site. I'm doubtful as to their authenticity.

Next - and maybe more important - you live in a town where there are literally MILLIONS of beautiful women. There's a hot little number that works in Rao's up in Harlem. I can help you get reservations there (you won't get them without my assistance since they are often booked a year out). She'd date you if I gave you a recommendation. No fee for that service, son.

Why pick on these country idiots who are living in another time? And I am not going to harp on this, but why did you leave New York University to take some online class in horse teeth?

I'll talk to a friend at NYU and get you back in. Might not be until January, but you need to step up your game if you're going to land the big bucks and the hot chicks.

M. Hezekiah, Esq
Atty at Law


A half truth is a whole lie.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 6,785
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 09-24-2016, 07:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Sister Handy,

[. . .]There are also alveoli in the lungs; alveolar can refer to that as well. I hope this relaxes your pretty mind.
Aww, thank you BrotherLarry. I have often been told that I have a beautiful mind, but never a pretty one.

Quote:
Since you said you have horse teeth, it is useful information to possess. My offer is still open to examine you thoroughly and begin treatment recommendations in conjunction with a human dentist.

Yes, I do still have a slight overbite, even after having worn braces. Furthermore, I have a very wide jaw. One dentist even compared it to the bisecting jaws of a snake, which I found rather hurtful at the time. Still, my wisdom teeth have never given me a moment's concern, so I guess that I must be grateful for all the extra room.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
you're going to land the big bucks and the hot chicks.


What do deer and chickens have to do with any of this? BrotherLarry works with horses and he's looking for a fine young True Christian wife to be his helpmeet. Please attempt to stay on topic and within the same biological order.


Cladistically Yours,


Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
God&DD God&DD is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 8
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Boston
God&DD is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.God&DD is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 11-17-2016, 08:44 PM

It's true. Even for young Christians it's difficult. I wish you the best of luck in your search.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Brother Bubba,
As you may have discovered from hopping about the forums gaily, (happily), I am also unwed. It appears you are significantly older than I, having spent most of your life in the sin of homerism, missing out on the joy of having a True Christian™ in your life.


It will likely be harder for you to find someone than I, but it has proven quite difficult even for a handsome, young, hard-bodied certified equine gnathologist about to become a veterinarian by mail. My prayer for you is simple: that you find much comfort and respite in the ministries of Brother Porter until the right spinster comes along and takes pity on you. Brother Porter will happily provide after care (have you discussed his fees?) until the next young buck comes along to take your place. Then, of course, he'll have to devote himself to that person and so on and so on and so on. Praise God!


In your loneliness, remember that GOD never forsakes you (Deuteronomy 31:8) (Hebrews 13:5) so you will never truly be alone. Stay on your knees, brother, and wallow in the love of the LORD.


In friendship,
BrotherLarry


PS: Pastor Ezekiel is back. If you haven't started tithing I highly recommend it. Like, um, today.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
AndreaAnn AndreaAnn is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
AndreaAnn is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 12-21-2017, 03:35 AM

Hi! Bubba, Andrea here I am a true Christian perhaps I regularly went to church every Sunday. How are things going in there? Are you still looking for a partner?
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ

 
Posts: 10,678
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 12-21-2017, 11:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndreaAnn View Post
I am a true Christian perhaps I regularly went to church every Sunday.
I've highlighted the word. What happened? Perhaps in your introduction thread you could clear up whether or not you have attended Church and why you stopped.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
ann the chinaman girl's Avatar
ann the chinaman girl ann the chinaman girl is offline
zit-faced teen
Forum Member
 
Posts: 69
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Baltimore
ann the chinaman girl is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ann the chinaman girl is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Jesus' eternal love Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 01-16-2018, 09:59 AM

Hi Bubba,

I'm looking to form a godly union. You were kind enough to reply to some of my questions before and I remember you fondly.


I do want to experience a full Christian marriage, and have been waiting, are you looking for that or not?


Thank you for your time to reply


Ann
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Esther B. Esther B. is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 562
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my father
Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 01-16-2018, 11:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ann the chinaman girl View Post
Hi Bubba,

I'm looking to form a godly union. You were kind enough to reply to some of my questions before and I remember you fondly.


I do want to experience a full Christian marriage, and have been waiting, are you looking for that or not?


Thank you for your time to reply


Ann
Ann, weren't you supposed to be getting married a few months ago? I hope you didn't do anything to cause the engagement to be broken off.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
ann the chinaman girl's Avatar
ann the chinaman girl ann the chinaman girl is offline
zit-faced teen
Forum Member
 
Posts: 69
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Baltimore
ann the chinaman girl is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.ann the chinaman girl is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Prayer Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 01-17-2018, 10:27 AM

He was choosing between my sister and me. He chose her, I think cause she is younger.

I didn't do anything wrong...


I'm only 17, so I don't think I'm too old!


Ann
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Phil Ander's Avatar
Phil Ander Phil Ander is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Porn Resistant Persecuted Ex-Masturbator Eats the Most Pork Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 381
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Phil Ander will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 01-17-2018, 02:26 PM

Ann,


It is well known that Bubba is a few shingles short of a roof. At 17 you have at least another year or two for your father to find a true Godly man for you. Put Bubba on the backburner. It can be hard for Orientals but patience will bring its rewards


Phil


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
H8B1BL3Thumperz H8B1BL3Thumperz is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Gremory Household
H8B1BL3Thumperz is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Seeking a True Christian™ female to marry. - 01-19-2018, 03:02 PM

Ain't no one gonna wed your old ass... if you broadened your choice of ladies then you could always go to the old age home. HAIL SATAN! GOD DIED IN THE GREAT WAR OF WARS AGAINST THE ANGELS, FALLEN ANGELS AND DEVILS!!! THE GREAT ONES WILL RETURN AND WILL SMITE ALL YOU PATHETIC FOOLS WHO CALL THENSELVES A CHRISTIAN! SIRZECHS WILL DESTROY ALL YOU WHO OPPOSE HIM! THE RED DRAGON HAS COME AND AZAZEL WILL SMITE THEE!!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved