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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Default The Naughty Old Dutchie of Stilton - 12-25-2018, 07:48 PM

This will be a rather bawdy song, forewarning, however it expresses a moral about testing God and the price of placing one's self over Him!



The Naughty Old Dutchie of Stilton


In the village of Stilton, down by the main court,
there stood a large manor of dubious sort.
And in that old place, the villagers spoke,
of a certain old Dutchie in wimple and cloak.


This infamous Dutchie; a blithely old rose,
sported a growth on the end of her nose.
Though her eyes sparkled with handsomely hazel,
it did not distract from that bump by her nasal.


When the peasants walked by, they'd linger and pause,
and giggle at the old Dutchie's large schnoz.
Though plain to the Dutchie, she paid them no mind,
She strove by the adage that beauty t'was blind.


This blemish did keep her from the King's soiree,
though uninvited, she had arrived anyway,
even when she was barred by the King's own redshirts,
they came outmaneuvered as she lifted her skirts.


In the feasting hall, she came charging in,
and plopped by Lord Bartfell much to his chargin,
By his good graces, he remained firmly seated,
as Dutchie whispered words that cannot be repeated.


Now for Dutchie did she, delight in the cheese,
and sampled the chevre with slovenly ease.
By the mid-course, her heart was a flutter,
and dug her thick thumb down deep in the butter.


She suckled the pig, and gobbled more cheese,
the good nobles wretched, convulsing dry heaves,
they felt distressed from the awful sight,
of Dutchie's wine-swishing, she drank very not light.


High from his throne, the King stared at her hard,
and pondered how deft she surpassed the guard.
Through tired eyelids, he glowered his stare,
as Dutchie's rump was poised high in the air.


Tipsy, she jigged, and waddled her waist,
and stuck her big butt in Sir Manderson's face
This undainty gesture was truly not artful,
lest not so when she gave his face a big fart full.


Roared King, "This behavior must cease and diminish!"
" Do shush" Spoke Dutchie, "Let me hurry and finish,"
Spurned from her stupor, with one cheeky cluck,
Old Dutchie was truly now pushing her luck.


With rash wicked thought, she bent to temptation,
and spoke clearly a bold, vehement declaration.
For the whole court to hear, she stood on her stool,
and said, "You know, Jesus sure is a fool!"


So now you must wonder, what came of old Dutchie?
Needless to say, the King felt rather touchy.
He placed a great bounty upon that old dyke.
She had her skin flayed, and her head on a spike!
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