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Reload this Page My first day as an undocumented editorial board member
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Jesus' eternal love My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 10-27-2019, 07:31 PM

After the word "abolish", my favorite word it "undocumented". So, now that I have become an editorial board member by showing up to a meeting and a half, it's time to make some editorial changes at the FhT&L.

First, the incident outside O'Malley's last night was not a "stabbing", it was undocumented surgery.

The undocumented surgeon was not a "drug dealer", but an undocumented pharmacist. There was no mob threatening to lynch him, there was a group of peaceful protestors discussing whether to abolish him with an undocumented punishment. The pharmacist did not escape and hide by breaking into a home and taking a hostage, he became an undocumented roommate in an undocumented relationship. As for the arson, that was an undocumented bonfire.

Next meeting: how to include more uses of the word "abolish".


Trigger Warning: the text you have just read may have caused: flashbacks to historical oppression, normalization of whiteness, hegemonic hyper-masculinity (if I must say so myself), assumption of genders, species, and/or status as a living being, other problematic sins which are yet to be discovered and outlawed but I should still be (eventually) punished for.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 11-17-2019 at 01:51 PM.
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Default Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 10-27-2019, 08:17 PM

When a migrant ship sinks, can we call that an undocumented swimming lesson?

Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."


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Default Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 11-17-2019, 01:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson View Post
Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."
You know, I think his face already fits every boot out there. It's like a one-size-fits-all face.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 11-18-2019 at 05:35 PM.
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Default Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member - 11-17-2019, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Paulson View Post
Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
You know, I think his face already fits every boot out there. It's like a one-size fits all face.
This is an interesting issue, but what concerns me the most is the following: the brainwashing this poor soul exhibits, is that an innate behavior, or is this the effect of enrolling in Wannabe Hipster 101 class at some liberal college?
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