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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Sherbrock Holmes Sherbrock Holmes is offline
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Default ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 04:53 PM
Is it a sin to masturbate over jesus? I ask because I sat on my bed earlier thinking of him and... well you get the rest of it...

I feel real unclean about this sort of behavior, but I know how the church opposes fun and pleasure (or at least mine does.) So i thought I'd ask.

Please help I don't wanna go to hell, my friend told me it's pointy!
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Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 04:56 PM
It's a sin to masturbate. Enjoy Hell!

Genesis 38:9-10 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

1st Corinthians 6:18-19 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"

1st Corinthians 7:2 "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Sherbrock Holmes Sherbrock Holmes is offline
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherbrock Holmes View Post
I could not agree more. This must be the smartest thing you have ever said.

Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Sherbrock Holmes Sherbrock Holmes is offline
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 05:12 PM
You're gay...
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Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 05:24 PM

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherbrock Holmes View Post
You're gay...
Please provide scriptural evidence to back up that controversial claim.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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gustos gustos is offline
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Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-07-2010, 07:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Please provide scriptural evidence to back up that controversial claim.
Hahahahahaha

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
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Lost Sheep McUinnean Lost Sheep McUinnean is offline
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Lost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureLost Sheep McUinnean has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: ADVICE! - 10-11-2010, 12:48 PM
Although I find the scripture inspiring and penetrating, I find that images can help get the message across to the pea-brained.


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