General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
02-27-2021, 10:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ringobingostarr
zero jokes
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This is the place where you tell a Good, Clean Christian Joke. Weren't you like the 4th best drummer in that Monkees tribute band?
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
02-28-2021, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ringobingostarr
you guys can't even tell funny jokes lmfaooooo
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You want to hear a funny joke? John Lennon and George Harrison, the two dung beetles who were musically talented, are in Hell right now for mocking Jesus and worshipping Buddha. Their less talented hangers-on Paul McCartney and the other guy will join them before long, to be tortured eternally in the Lake of Fire. You may be able to someday witness a Beatles reunion, Live in Hell, if you don't get right with God, fall down on your knees and worship Him. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
03-06-2021, 11:34 PM
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
08-31-2021, 07:49 AM
A couple of Taliban are on their way to Friday prayers.
Achmed: "I got a new Toyota Hilux for my eldest daughter last week."
Abdul: "Really? Sweet!"
Achmed: "Yeah. I kinda miss her though."
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 28
Join Date: Sep 2021
Location: Twinkies in my ears
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
09-15-2021, 08:15 PM
Why shouldn't you let Prince Andrew look after your daughter?
He'll think babysitting is a sex position.
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
09-16-2021, 03:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaf Kate
Why shouldn't you let Prince Andrew look after your daughter?
He'll think babysitting is a PORNOGRAPHY DELETED.
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Ma'am, I'm not sure what your definition of "clean" is but that kind of potty talk is not welcome on God's favorite website.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
11-03-2021, 08:29 PM
Two Jews walk into a bar and ask for some water. Why? Because its free, you schmuck!
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
11-04-2021, 02:38 AM
What was Hitler's favorite kind of burger?
A Nuremberger.
What's a Jew's favorite Beatles song?
Penny Lane.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
11-20-2021, 01:51 AM
How many pallbearers will Lizzo need at her funeral?
Just one, the forklift driver.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-14-2021, 02:23 AM
What is Donald Trump's favorite reading material?MAGAzines.
If you could punch one celebrity in the face, who would you pick, and why did you pick Lizzo?
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
12-14-2021, 07:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
If you could punch one celebrity in the face, who would you pick, and why did you pick Lizzo?
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I would pick Lizzo because waidddaminute... you said Lizzo, and I said... Is this witchcraft? I'm going to have to report this.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
01-28-2022, 03:53 AM
So there's this barbershop. One day a Buddhist monk comes in and asks what he charges. "No charge for a holy man such as yourself," says the barber. So he shaves the monk's head for free, and the next day what does he find on the doorstep? A dozen oranges.
Later, an Irish priest comes into the barbershop and asks what he charges. "No charge for a holy man such as yourself," says the barber. So he cuts the priest's hair for free, and the next day what does he find on the doorstep? A dozen potatoes.
Later still, a Jew rabbi comes into the barbershop and asks what he charges. "No charge for a holy man such as yourself," says the barber. So he trims the rabbi's Jewlocks for free, and the next day what does he find on the doorstep? A dozen rabbis.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
02-01-2022, 12:57 AM
Why don't Muslims eat pork?
Because cannibalism is against their religion.
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
02-01-2022, 08:04 AM
Q: What do you call a liberal activist without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
05-23-2022, 04:20 PM
How much fuel does a Russian tank burn?
Three crew members.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
05-26-2022, 05:54 AM
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland?
A: God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin there.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
05-26-2022, 07:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland?
A: God couldn't find three wise men or a virgin there.
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I was going to quibble that the wise men came from the east, but in this case that'd be Russia, and ... yeah.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
06-14-2022, 03:01 AM
What's the difference between a unicorn and the Holocaust?
There's evidence that unicorns exist.
(Job 39:9, Psalms 29:6, Psalms 92:10, Numbers 23:22)
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
07-31-2022, 07:25 PM
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes -
07-31-2022, 07:59 PM
How much did the holla cost?
$6 million
What color is a black person's skin?
If you answered brown, you're wrong. They're actually translucent. They only look brown because they're so full of $#!†.
The Biden Administration in a nutshell:
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