The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-24-2015, 06:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
I wish to make amends, and join God's favorite church and forum.
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Friend,a Christian does not 'wish', we pray to God He permits our souls to go to Heaven.
Making amends is one of the 12 steps worthless drunks do to placate themselves for being rotten bastards.
You have already joined the forum.
I have yet to see your application for joining the Church along with the required documentation and at least three letters of recommendation along with the surety bond.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-24-2015, 08:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
I was here before I lost my username and password ... I wish to make amends, and join God's favorite church and forum.
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Since your first post, we here at Landover have referred your details to the Department of Faith. They have been kind enough to run a few background checks: mainly the small stuff like
(i) Check IP address
(ii) Medical records (I hope you have prayed away that rash. )
(iii) Short surveillance of your home and your neighbors (The Carolinas are quite pleasant this time of year.)
(iv) Spending patterns via your credit card and bank.
(v) Interception of emails and telephone calls
(vi) Automatic License Plate Recognition
(vii) Birth, Baptism, Marriage and Death records for you and two generations either side of you.
(viii) IRS
(ix) Social Security number and employers
(x) Similar checks on your parents and any siblings
(xi) Police/FBI/CIA records
(vii) Church attendance records from a 100 mile radius of your home and previous addresses, and a few other basics.
Nothing like the check you'll get when you appear before Jesus, and just a start if I'm honest. But they have all failed to come up with anything to indicate that you were ever at Landover...
Care to explain?
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Very low IQ God-mocking heathen
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pineville, N.C.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-25-2015, 02:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Since your first post, we here at Landover have referred your details to the Department of Faith. They have been kind enough to run a few background checks: mainly the small stuff like
(i) Check IP address
(ii) Medical records (I hope you have prayed away that rash. )
(iii) Short surveillance of your home and your neighbors (The Carolinas are quite pleasant this time of year.)
(iv) Spending patterns via your credit card and bank.
(v) Interception of emails and telephone calls
(vi) Automatic License Plate Recognition
(vii) Birth, Baptism, Marriage and Death records for you and two generations either side of you.
(viii) IRS
(ix) Social Security number and employers
(x) Similar checks on your parents and any siblings
(xi) Police/FBI/CIA records
(vii) Church attendance records from a 100 mile radius of your home and previous addresses, and a few other basics.
Nothing like the check you'll get when you appear before Jesus, and just a start if I'm honest. But they have all failed to come up with anything to indicate that you were ever at Landover...
Care to explain?
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I was referring to God's favorite forum good Sir.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-25-2015, 08:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
I was referring to God's favorite forum good Sir.
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That's only nine words and not one of them was 'Jesus'.
Not a good start.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-27-2015, 08:34 AM
Brother Curtis,
By now, if you were sincere about your desired walk with Christ, you would have fallen on your knees in front of the good men of Landover and our Lord Jesus, and you would have opened yourself to His enormous love. It is only when we are prostate with griefness over our sinfulous nature that the LORD GOD can penetrate our very souls and cleanse us with His Blood.
Salvation® is not something to be on the fence about. His soon coming is nearer than it has been over the past 2000 years and we know because He said so, "Behold, I come quickly!" (Revelation 22:12)
There is no getting around that. God is SO good to us, but we must first start walking toward Him. He will then carry you in His Manly Bosom™ and shew you His Righteousness®.
COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,451
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-27-2015, 09:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
...It is only when we are prostate...
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Prostrate, maybe?
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-29-2015, 12:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
I was referring to God's favorite forum good Sir.
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Ah... I was thinking that you might have been accepted into the congregation and set up a tithing plan.
Carry on.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-29-2015, 01:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Friend,a Christian does not 'wish', we pray to God He permits our souls to go to Heaven.
Making amends is one of the 12 steps worthless drunks do to placate themselves for being rotten bastards.
You have already joined the forum.
I have yet to see your application for joining the Church along with the required documentation and at least three letters of recommendation along with the surety bond.
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Still nothing, do I stop looking and take it your have instead taken a cheap seat on the bus to Hell?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Very low IQ God-mocking heathen
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pineville, N.C.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-29-2015, 07:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Still nothing, do I stop looking and take it your have instead taken a cheap seat on the bus to Hell?
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So calling this God's favorite forum, but not saying Jesus in the sentence was a bad start wow!!!
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-29-2015, 08:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Prostrate, maybe?
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You Foul Demon,
I am but a young man and my prostrate is fully functional, although I do not like being forced to speak of it on a Holy Ghost filled forum.
Why don't you go back to your monkeys and evolve a little before shewing your face, Atheist?
COME, LORD JESUS,
BrotherLarry
PS: All you need to do, as you have been told in this place for years, is to read the BIBLE to find proof of God's existence. That most HOLY of books didn't write itself, you know. I am convinced that atheists just don't know how to use logic and science in the same way True Christians™ do - the way JESUS taught. Do you feel the flames of HELL batting against your sinful countenance yet, knave? You are surely bound there on a fast-moving train. The devil himself has stamped your ticket due to your unbelief in the obvious existence of our GOD.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Very low IQ God-mocking heathen
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pineville, N.C.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-30-2015, 01:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Prostrate, maybe?
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They must like you around here.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 728
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Manalapan, FL
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-30-2015, 01:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
They must like you around here.
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Hello curtisedwardgrice.
I like Didymus Much but he is not going to Heaven because he does not believe in Jesus that makes me sad because Didymus is kind and smart and he knows a lot about the Bible I do not understand I want him to be in Heaven with me.
Thank you.
Rusty
Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Very low IQ God-mocking heathen
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pineville, N.C.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-30-2015, 04:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell Holbeck
Hello curtisedwardgrice.
I like Didymus Much but he is not going to Heaven because he does not believe in Jesus that makes me sad because Didymus is kind and smart and he knows a lot about the Bible I do not understand I want him to be in Heaven with me.
Thank you.
Rusty
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I believe that they believe in God and, Jesus more than they say otherwise they would not touch the Bible.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 728
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Manalapan, FL
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
12-31-2015, 05:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
I believe that they believe in God and, Jesus more than they say otherwise they would not touch the Bible.
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Hello curtisedwardgrice.
I do not think so I think Didymus reads the Bible so that he can be sarcastic and so he can correct people but in a mean way and so he can point out what he thinks are bad things in the Bible even though all of it is inspired by God who is perfect look at 2 Timothy 3:16-17 it says:
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
It does not say anything about parts of the Bible being wrong and it does not say to be mean when you are correcting people I wish Didymus would stop that but I still like him.
Thank you.
Rusty
Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Very low IQ God-mocking heathen
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pineville, N.C.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
01-01-2016, 05:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell Holbeck
Hello curtisedwardgrice.
I do not think so I think Didymus reads the Bible so that he can be sarcastic and so he can correct people but in a mean way and so he can point out what he thinks are bad things in the Bible even though all of it is inspired by God who is perfect look at 2 Timothy 3:16-17 it says:
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
It does not say anything about parts of the Bible being wrong and it does not say to be mean when you are correcting people I wish Didymus would stop that but I still like him.
Thank you.
Rusty
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I have a friend much like him I try, and try he will not turn to Jesus no Matter what I say or give proof of the scriptures.
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Preserving Freehold's dead for Christ's return
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Posts: 263
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: On my knees before Jesus
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
01-01-2016, 06:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
I have a friend much like him I try, and try he will not turn to Jesus no Matter what I say or give proof of the scriptures.
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You mean you try to reach out to him but he doesn't respond much? That must be very frustrating.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
01-01-2016, 08:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
So calling this God's favorite forum, but not saying Jesus in the sentence was a bad start wow!!!
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Friend, I think you may of be huffing a bit too much of the Devils Juice®. I want to help you, I really do but you are delusional and irrational. Take a moment ask Jesus for Divine Guidance©. You can Depends™ on Him.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Very low IQ God-mocking heathen
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 226
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pineville, N.C.
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
01-03-2016, 01:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Swallows
You mean you try to reach out to him but he doesn't respond much? That must be very frustrating.
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He replies with reasons why he believes there is no God, and Jesus never walked the earth.
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Preserving Freehold's dead for Christ's return
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Posts: 263
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: On my knees before Jesus
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
01-03-2016, 01:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
He replies with reasons why he believes there is no God, and Jesus never walked the earth.
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What reasons does he give? This might be a chance for you to get equipped.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: I was here before I lost my username and password -
01-03-2016, 03:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curtisedwardgrice
He replies with reasons why he believes there is no God, and Jesus never walked the earth.
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Demand that he prove his ridiculous claims.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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