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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-06-2010, 06:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
Amen. Seeing as I won't need it in a month from, anyone have suggestions on how I can spend my life savings?
Donate them to the Church! 2 Corinthians 9:7 "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver."

I already put a for sale sign in the lawn of Mrs. Johnson. I am sure Mister Johnson wants it that way.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-06-2010, 06:56 PM

No, it is not.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-06-2010, 07:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GutPuncher View Post
No, it is not.
Let me get this straight. You were strolling around the interwebs and this thread caught your eye.

You took all that time to think up a username and password. You had to answer the registration question from the Bible. Then, you went to check your email to get the confirmation for you to join here.

Finally, you charged into this thread to utter four monosyllabic words. That makes no sense whatsoever.

Ecclesiastes 4:5
The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Smile Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-06-2010, 07:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GutPuncher View Post
No, it is not.
Son, do not come crying to me at 6:10 AM on March 4th, 2010

If you wait too long to repent, God will see through your little ploy and deny you access to Heaven.

Dispose of your worldly goods, give your money to the Church. God will see these efforts and reward you handsomely.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 01:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Thank God we had the foresight to get Project Habakkuk off the ground in time, eh?
Do you think it wise to talk about Habakkuk in open forum?
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 01:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristotle View Post
Do you think it wise to talk about Habakkuk in open forum?
While the public at our church is aware there is a Project Habakkuk going on, the details of said project are remaining secret, for now. To be on the safe side, I would limit references to the Project, and surely do not elaborate further on the workings.

SJ-74 was a disaster because someone had loose lips. I think you realize how important it is to keep mum about this whole affair. Are we on the same page, brother?



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 06:18 AM

Come march fifth I will laugh whole-heartedly and will be sure to return here and let you know of my enjoyment.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 06:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Gerrard View Post
Come march fifth I will laugh whole-heartedly and will be sure to return here and let you know of my enjoyment.
Your laughter will soon turn to screams of agony, once you realize that March 5, 2010 will mark your first day in hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 06:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Gerrard View Post
Come march fifth I will laugh whole-heartedly and will be sure to return here and let you know of my enjoyment.
Since you're so sure, would you like to bet money on that?


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 06:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
Since you're so sure, would you like to bet money on that?
Oh yes...

I will bet you every single cent to my name. Ill even take it 25-1.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 10:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Gerrard View Post
Oh yes... I will bet you every single cent to my name. Ill even take it 25-1.
I will take that bet for $2500-$100. Since if we are right, and we are right, we will not be able to collect our money I have the following proposal. You pay me your $2500 immediately. I will of course donate it to the Church. If you win, which will not happen of course, you can come to my house march 5th to collect your $100 winnings. It's best to come around 5 pm right before I go hunting.

1 Timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 01:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Gerrard View Post
I will bet you every single cent to my name. Ill even take it 25-1.
Okay, thank you for being a sport.

One detail though: I need the money now, because if the world does end, I can't spend it.


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 02:04 PM

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Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
I pray, sweet Jesus come take me home. I long to be by your side. Let me live in your light. If the end is near come and take me to my reward.

Praise Jesus.
I am wary of this sin-cursed world! Save me Jesus!
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 02:06 PM

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Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
Since you're so sure, would you like to bet money on that?
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Originally Posted by GOD=life View Post
Okay, thank you for being a sport.

One detail though: I need the money now, because if the world does end, I can't spend it.
I thought gambling was against the Bible? So why are you betting Mike that the world won't end in a month?
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Smile Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 02:13 PM

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Originally Posted by PraiseOurLordGod View Post
I thought gambling was against the Bible? So why are you betting Mike that the world won't end in a month?
It is an attempt to show the heathen his folly.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 03:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PraiseOurLordGod View Post
I thought gambling was against the Bible? So why are you betting Mike that the world won't end in a month?
Mr. Hutchins is absolutely right. The world will end on March 4th. It's not a matter of gambling.

I have no interest in receiving money. After all, I'm only a month away from going to Heaven.

It's a metaphorical comparison to the gambling that people do with their souls: when their world ends (through death), they will see how their "gamble" paid off.


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 04:36 PM

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Originally Posted by PraiseOurLordGod View Post
I thought gambling was against the Bible? So why are you betting Mike that the world won't end in a month?
Didn't you notice me mentioning my profit will go to the Church?

James 1:5 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-07-2010, 06:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
While the public at our church is aware there is a Project Habakkuk going on, the details of said project are remaining secret, for now. To be on the safe side, I would limit references to the Project, and surely do not elaborate further on the workings.

SJ-74 was a disaster because someone had loose lips. I think you realize how important it is to keep mum about this whole affair. Are we on the same page, brother?
Absolutely. Pray to JESUS that the unbelievers will see the light before it is too late.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-08-2010, 01:49 AM

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Originally Posted by Freeks-Angel View Post
I got told that the world was going to end on Decmeber 21 2012. Or was I told wrong?
Of course you were wrong. That December 21, 2012 stuff is just superstitious nonsense, based on the writings of a thousands-year-old religion. We don't buy into that kind of stupidity. We only follow the Bible.
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Default Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010! - 02-08-2010, 03:55 AM

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Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins View Post
Mayans! I wouldn't trust anything they say. Looks to me like they're all faggots, with that jewelry and body paint.



Not even the negro pimps I've seen in Houston wear that much jewelry.


Missionaries trying to persuade Mayan queer to put on his pants

Actually, the only ones in that tribe that do wear clothes are the commie guerilla Mayans, like Subcomandante Marx.


Subcomandante Marcos

I reckon he must be the son of Karl Marcos, the Joo Mexican who wrote Das Kapital. Well, all I can say is that I hope they all disappear on 21/12/2012, along with the rest of the beaners.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
Wow, I never knew that communism was invented by Mexicans! It makes sense though!
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