[Claire]

I received an "infraction" by Pastor Ezekiel for *gasp!* posting in the Men's Only forum, so he redirected me here and told me to tell you all about me, about what church my husband takes me to, and what my husband's favorite pies are.

Well, first thing's first: My name is Claire. I live in Boston, Massachusetts. I'm 18 years old and just finished my first year at college, majoring in Veterinary Technology. I am also a Certified Nursing Assistant.

My age and the fact that I am attending school should be indication enough that I am NOT married. I have no desire to marry, and I have not attended church for many years (the only times we would ever go to church were when my grandparents were visiting, or if we were visiting them in Georgia). Now, as for the "pie" question, just because I am not married does not mean that pie does not get baked in this household; I'm human, I'm entitled to enjoy a slice of pie once in a while (although I prefer whoopie pies from Whole Foods).

I am currently looking for a job for the summer, but have so far been unsuccessful. I've resorted to walking my mom's friend's dog for five dollars a day. Sure, it's not the greatest money, but it's fun and gives me the opportunity to train a dog for the first time (she's from Indonesia, and has never before walked on a leash).

I have two cats - Tasha and Charlie - who are just the sweetest little animals you could ever meet.

I enjoy classical music, as well as some rock, but I dislike hip/hop. My favorite music is the Original Broadway Cast Recording of "Annie".

[James Hutchins]

!8 years old and does not want to get married and likes a slice of pie from time to time. What dpoes this mean.... what does this mean? Well, who am I to judge, rightI am not God.

Has cats... hmm do you sit at home eating ice cream out of the container watching 'Sleepless in Seattle'?


A picture is formng......

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

[Claire]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

!8 years old and does not want to get married and likes a slice of pie from time to time. What dpoes this mean.... what does this mean? Well, who am I to judge, rightI am not God.

Has cats... hmm do you sit at home eating ice cream out of the container watching 'Sleepless in Seattle'?


A picture is formng......

I do not eat ice cream. My parents raised me to eat very healthily, and that is how I still eat (although technically my parents are still taking care of me, so I guess they still pretty much have say over what I eat). I have never seen "Sleepless in Seattle". I don't like "chick-flicks".

[James Hutchins]

Who What do you eat. A Christian diet is very important.
Still sponging off your parents at 18? My kids are on thier own at 13, except the retarded one. He stayed till he was fifteen because he was funny to trick not ready as early.

[Miss April]

Welcame Claire Two The Forums But you should not be Posting In the Mens Only Forum Pastor Ezekiel Did the right thing by doing that:/ But Anyway I'm 18 two how are you doing?

[Professor Bessemer]

Originally Posted by Claire

I received an "infraction" by Pastor Ezekiel for *gasp!* posting in the Men's Only forum, so he redirected me here and told me to tell you all about me, about what church my husband takes me to, and what my husband's favorite pies are.

It is traditional for guests to introduce themselves in most cultures. We are quite civilized here young lady.

Originally Posted by Claire

Well, first thing's first: My name is Claire. I live in Boston, Massachusetts. I'm 18 years old and just finished my first year at college, majoring in Veterinary Technology. I am also a Certified Nursing Assistant.

A future nurse! Wonderful. Nurses truly do God's work, helping men who are far more qualified to be doctors.

Originally Posted by Claire

My age and the fact that I am attending school should be indication enough that I am NOT married. I have no desire to marry,

Nonsense, eighteen is practically the perfect age to marry. Or are you a lesbian, in which case marriage for you is impossible.

Originally Posted by Claire

I have not attended church for many years (the only times we would ever go to church were when my grandparents were visiting, or if we were visiting them in Georgia).

Very sad, ver sad indeed. As I was reading this post I had such high hopes for you Claire. Just eighteen and already you have turned away from God. Such a shame.

Originally Posted by Claire

Now, as for the "pie" question, just because I am not married does not mean that pie does not get baked in this household; I'm human, I'm entitled to enjoy a slice of pie once in a while (although I prefer whoopie pies from Whole Foods).

You would rather buy pies from a gay-friendly, liberal, pro-vegetarian, hippy-run "health food" store than make them yourself? You are truly misguided my dear.

Originally Posted by Claire

I am currently looking for a job for the summer, but have so far been unsuccessful. I've resorted to walking my mom's friend's dog for five dollars a day.

For a woman of your dubious quailifications, that is a rather princely sum.

Originally Posted by Claire

Sure, it's not the greatest money, but it's fun and gives me the opportunity to train a dog for the first time (she's from Indonesia, and has never before walked on a leash).

Who is from Indonesia, the neighbor woman or the dog?

Originally Posted by Claire

I have two cats - Tasha and Charlie - who are just the sweetest little animals you could ever meet.

I doubt it. My cat, Mr. Fancy Paws is far cuter than your cats ever will be. He's a showcat you know.

Originally Posted by Claire

I enjoy classical music, as well as some rock, but I dislike hip/hop. My favorite music is the Original Broadway Cast Recording of "Annie".

Hmm. I'm not sure what to make of this. If you were a man, I would say this would be incontrovertible proof of your homosexuality. But as woman, being fond of musicals is natural and even expected.

Claire, Jesus brought you here for a reason. Leave your Godless lifestyle and join us! You have nothing to lose, and eternity in Heaven to gain!

[Sister Kristi]

Welcome!

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Sister Kristi

Welcome!

Keep it in your pants, she just got here.

[Claire]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

Who What do you eat. A Christian diet is very important.
Still sponging off your parents at 18? My kids are on thier own at 13, except the retarded one. He stayed till he was fifteen because he was funny to trick not ready as early.

All of the food we eat is either All Natural or Organic. I drink skim milk and the only bread that we eat is whole wheat (even the burger buns). We eat brown rice instead of white. Instead of rice pilaf we eat a Kashi 7 Whole Grain Pilaf. We eat meat no more than once a day, and it's always a lean meat like chicken breast. My sister and I were "crunchy granola" kids - we got things like Shredded Wheat, plain Cheerios, and Raisin Brain as cereal instead of sugary junk like Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms. I'm too young to drink, but my parents have a small glass of red whine every night after dinner, and they never, ever drink hard liquor.

There's nothing wrong with living with and depending on my parents at my age. I was always very "clingy" as a child, and I still am not ready to leave my parents. A child cannot be legally emancipated until age 16, so I believe that what you did with your children was illegal. A 13 year old is still a child, and therefore needs care from a parent.

[James Hutchins]

Ah, you have hippy parents. Well, that Kashi guy is a pretty clever capitalist, so you cannot be all bad.

You are clingy? A cattle prod will break you of that nasty habit. Sending a person off at 13 is good for them, builds character. You want them to become old and bitter, realizing what life is about when it is too late? I say, get it out of your system while you are young and can heal rebound. Being the man and head of my household, I make the law. and the law is, unless you have something to offer (like a dowry or being funny) then out you go at 13.

[Claire]

Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer

It is traditional for guests to introduce themselves in most cultures. We are quite civilized here young lady.

A future nurse! Wonderful. Nurses truly do God's work, helping men who are far more qualified to be doctors.

Nonsense, eighteen is practically the perfect age to marry. Or are you a lesbian, in which case marriage for you is impossible.

Very sad, ver sad indeed. As I was reading this post I had such high hopes for you Claire. Just eighteen and already you have turned away from God. Such a shame.

You would rather buy pies from a gay-friendly, liberal, pro-vegetarian, hippy-run "health food" store than make them yourself? You are truly misguided my dear.

For a woman of your dubious quailifications, that is a rather princely sum.

Who is from Indonesia, the neighbor woman or the dog?


I doubt it. My cat, Mr. Fancy Paws is far cuter than your cats ever will be. He's a showcat you know.
Hmm. I'm not sure what to make of this. If you were a man, I would say this would be incontrovertible proof of your homosexuality. But as woman, being fond of musicals is natural and even expected.

Claire, Jesus brought you here for a reason. Leave your Godless lifestyle and join us! You have nothing to lose, and eternity in Heaven to gain!

I apologize for not introducing myself properly.

Perhaps you misread what I wrote - I happen to be a Certified Nursing Assistant, but I'm attending college to become a Veterinary Technician. And I am offended by your comment about men being more suited for the M.D. license.

In my opinion, 18 is still practically a child. And I'm not a lesbian, but even if I was, I live in Massachusetts, so I would be able to marry. In fact, my next-door neighbors were the first same sex-couple in Massachusetts to receive their marriage license five years ago. I am very happy for them for that!

Yes, I would rather buy whoopie pies from a gay-friendly, liberal, pro-vegetarian health food store than make them myself because I am also gay-friendly, a liberal, and WISH that I could become a vegetarian. Whoopie pies are not actual "pies" as we know them. They're essentially icing squished between two miniature chocolate cakes. I don't make them myself because I don't think I could make them as well as Whole Foods does.

And five dollars a day is really not that much to ask for walking a dog, especially a dog that hyper.

[Claire]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

Ah, you have hippy parents. Well, that Kashi guy is a pretty clever capitalist, so you cannot be all bad.

You are clingy? A cattle prod will break you of that nasty habit. Sending a person off at 13 is good for them, builds character. You want them to become old and bitter, realizing what life is about when it is too late? I say, get it out of your system while you are young and can heal rebound. Being the man and head of my household, I make the law. and the law is, unless you have something to offer (like a dowry or being funny) then out you go at 13.

A cattle prod? My parents love me and aren't barbaric, nor are they abusive. Sending a child off at 13 is illegal.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Originally Posted by Claire

....
I enjoy classical music, as well as some rock, but I dislike hip/hop. My favorite music is the Original Broadway Cast Recording of "Annie".

Keep your doors locked when you listen or watch Annie, and be sure to rewind your tapes.

[Bob4God]

Claire, why are you acting so angry at GOD? Why don't you want to settle down with a nice True Christian man and have soldiers for CHRIST?

You come across as a stubborn and independent woman (very bad) and yet you say you are totally clingy and hooked on your parents. Something seems wrong here.

[Claire]

Originally Posted by Bob4God

Claire, why are you acting so angry at GOD? Why don't you want to settle down with a nice True Christian man and have soldiers for CHRIST?

You come across as a stubborn and independent woman (very bad) and yet you say you are totally clingy and hooked on your parents. Something seems wrong here.

I have every right to not settle down and have children. Although you may not like it, women are human beings, just as men are. If you can't accept that fact, you might want to move to Saudi Arabia.

And there's nothing unnatural about an 18 year old clinging to her parents but not wanting to cling to a husband.

[Professor Bessemer]

Originally Posted by Claire

I have every right to not settle down and have children. Although you may not like it, women are human beings, just as men are. If you can't accept that fact, you might want to move to Saudi Arabia.

And there's nothing unnatural about an 18 year old clinging to her parents but not wanting to cling to a husband.

Claire dear, there is no need to get angry. As I said at the end of my post, Jesus brought you to us for a reason. You may think you came here of your own volition, but you are incorrect.

What is the reason you believe you came here to us?

Jesus wants to love you Claire, but right now he cannot, because you are not Saved. Come, wash yourself in the Blood of the Lamb and join us here at God's Favorite Church™. You will be glad you did!

[Claire]

Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer

Claire dear, there is no need to get angry. As I said at the end of my post, Jesus brought you to us for a reason. You may think you came here of your own volition, but you are incorrect.

What is the reason you believe you came here to us?

Jesus wants to love you Claire, but right now he cannot, because you are not Saved. Come, wash yourself in the Blood of the Lamb and join us here at God's Favorite Church™. You will be glad you did!

Who said I was angry? And I am not going to wash myself in the blood of an innocent lamb.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Originally Posted by Claire

Who said I was angry? And I am not going to wash myself in the blood of an innocent lamb.

Honestly girl, have you even READ the Bible? Do you not know who the Lamb of God is? No wonder you're so bitter and mad at the world. Seriously, get yourself a King James Bible and read it cover to cover.

If that doesn't make you want to join the One True Church™ I sure as heck don't know what will.

And am I to understand that you are unmarried? Do you like Christian pilots?

[Claire]

Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway

Honestly girl, have you even READ the Bible? Do you not know who the Lamb of God is? No wonder you're so bitter and mad at the world. Seriously, get yourself a King James Bible and read it cover to cover.

If that doesn't make you want to join the One True Church™ I sure as heck don't know what will.

And am I to understand that you are unmarried? Do you like Christian pilots?

What evidence do you have that I'm "bitter and mad at the world"?

And yes, I am unmarried. But if you had read my original post, you'd know that I have absolutely no desire to marry. I am only 18 and in college, and I want to preserve my childhood for as long as I can.