[duTiFul]

which is exactly why my theory on hell is such...

Fat doesn't burn. It sizzles. Also since fat is less dense than lava or water, and also less soluble, it will float. Therefore, hell is nothing but an eternity of jumping from one fat person to the next.

[Brother_Percy]

Originally Posted by Forest_dweller

Stop acting like you understand. Not all of us gorge ourselves on other's money for the glory of God. She lives from a small paycheck to a small paycheck, so there is not that much room for her to overeat. She is quite a nice person, if you ever bothered to think before you make hateful (yes, hateful) statements about people. I may be a spot short on money, but you can thank your bloody Dubya for that! And Zeke, I only regret that when I die, I will not be able to say "I told you so".

Fat people are fat for a reason. Because they want to be. Because they hate God. Because they are disgusting wretched gluttonous rodents that are a disgrace to the human race. They are detestable pigs! God didn't give us perfect bodies so we could turn them into a garbage heap. And anyone who does so is insulting God.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Go Go Girl

Where on earth do you get it that I'm the one hating?

From your hateful attacks on the Baby Jesus?

Originally Posted by Forest_dweller

60% of your beloved America is morbidly obese. By extension, God hates 60% of america.

Well, that would explain why He's punishing them.

Also, not all fat people are gluttons either. My aunt for instance, cannot afford a lot of good wholesome food. So she is FORCED by circumstance to eat unhealthy cheap foods. As a result, she is obese. She did not choose to be, it was circumstance (you might say it was God himself)

Exactly. Clearly, God hates your lardy aunt and has turned her into a human water buffalo as punishment for whatever heinous crime she committed against Him. If He liked her, He'd give her the money to afford good wholesome food.

Originally Posted by Forest_dweller

She lives from a small paycheck to a small paycheck, so there is not that much room for her to overeat.

The fact that she's a huge blubberbeast would seem to contradict this. Or are you saying that if she gets any huger, her shack will literally burst?

She is quite a nice person, if you ever bothered to think before you make hateful (yes, hateful) statements about people.

Friend, we've already established that she's not a Born Again Fundamentalist Christian, so how is it possible for her to be a nice person?

I may be a spot short on money, but you can thank your bloody Dubya for that!

How? Typical welfare victim mentality. Why don't you blame John Kerry?

[Forest_dweller (Quarantined)]

God would never give her anything, he is more focused on the "give me everything" part.
People can still lead good lives and not be insane fundies, you just do not know it because you are to busy wiping the carpet with your knees if you know what I mean.
Bubberbeast? That is not cool, man.
Welfare? I do not sit on welfare, I make something of myself.
And she does not live in a shack, they are called apartments. I meant that there is not enough room on her budget to overeat. John Karry was never president, so I'll keep thanking Dubya (I suspect he might be inbred six generations down)
And calling people water buffaloes does not make you a good person, you chimp.

[Brother Terrence]

I submit that when someone calls a fatty a name, they are actually simply trying to motivate them to do something about it, and therefore become closer to our Lord and Saviour. So that being said, let's all get out there and do our Christian duty, and run down lardasses.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

God has instructed all Pastors to put on an extra fifty pounds in preparation for the coming famine. Women need not bother. When one dies of starvation, there is always another one.

The alternative is overstocking, like the Marmonts, but since we know where they all live, we'll have those resources immediately available by simply doing GOD's will of eliminating them.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

THIS JUST IN: The Godless socialist regime up in Canada (our future northern sub-state) has decided to cave in to the radical demands of fat sinners everywhere.

Obese have right to two airline seats

OTTAWA (Reuters) – Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.

The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are "functionally disabled by obesity" deserve to have two seats for one fare.

The airlines had lost an appeal at the Federal Court of Appeal in May and had sought to launch a fresh appeal at the Supreme Court. The court's decision not to hear a new appeal means the one-person-one-fare policy stands.

I suppose next they'll start forcing normal people to squeeze in two-to-a-seat.

[Nobar King]

Why should a couple have to pay for both seats if the single person next to them can use two whole seats for her fat ass?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Those damned fatties! They are starting to bug me as much as queers and nigras! Wow, I just thought of something. I bet there are queer, nigra fatties out there.

Shudder!

[TC Patriot]

Now the Canadian Supreme Court has ruled that the fatties who require two seats for their fat bodies only have to pay for one.

Here is the news story from the Liebrul media.

updated 4:04 p.m. ET, Thurs., Nov. 20, 2008
OTTAWA - Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.
The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are "functionally disabled by obesity" deserve to have two seats for one fare.
The airlines had lost an appeal at the Federal Court of Appeal in May and had sought to launch a fresh appeal at the Supreme Court. The court's decision not to hear a new appeal means the one-person-one-fare policy stands.


Captain Portway, from a True Christian pilot's point of view what do you think the effect of giving fat gluttonous slobs 2 seats for the price of one will do to the airlines?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

I am really quite upset that none of you have thought this through far enough to see GOD's plan. As we traverse the world behing JESUS, slaughtering the wicked, we shall have to go and pray every night. Obviously a bloody warrior with gore and brains all over him cannot enter the house of the Lord! So we simply find a few morbidly obese people, render them down, add some lye and have soap to renew us for the following days' battle.

You don't think we can waste hundreds of carts pulled by women and slaves simply to carry soap do you?

By mis afternoon, OUR section of the river will be clear again, pure, and full of fish...whereas the heathend downstream will neither drink, cook, nor gain solace from the river of blood and body parts washing by them.

Friends, this is GOD's infallable plan, straight from Revelations. Let the fatties spread themselves evenly around the world so we can begin.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Doesn't it take more jet fuel to transport these fatties around the globe? Can't they at least be charged more for the extra cost of the fuel? Airlines are now allowed to charge more for "excess baggage".

[TC Patriot]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

Doesn't it take more jet fuel to transport these fatties around the globe? Can't they at least be charged more for the extra cost of the fuel? Airlines are now allowed to charge more for "excess baggage".

The Liebrul Canadian supreme court has told the airlines they have to give those fat homers and lesbeans two seats for the price of one.

I bet this one will keep the fires of hell burning for a very long time.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Apparently they're criminals too!

Obese Texas inmate hides gun in his flabs of fat


HOUSTON – An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.

Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.

[Rock4MyLord]

I once knew a fattie who got potato chip grease all over my Bible in school.

[NonBiasedChristian]

Yeah, you're not really all up on the Bible reading are you? John 7:24. Jesus Christ Himself said that. Correct me.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by NonBiasedChristian

Yeah, you're not really all up on the Bible reading are you? John 7:24. Jesus Christ Himself said that. Correct me.

Did Brother Percy not use scriptures that show how much God cannot stand gluttons?

Allow me to add some.

Philippians 3:18-19 (For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ:
Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by NonBiasedChristian

Yeah, you're not really all up on the Bible reading are you? John 7:24. Jesus Christ Himself said that. Correct me.

So you're saying that judging someone for being slothful and a glutton isn't righteous judgment?

Here's a few for you

Proverbs 12:24 The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute.

Proverbs 12:27 The slothful [man] roasteth not that which he took in hunting: but the substance of a diligent man [is] precious.

Proverbs 15:19 The way of the slothful [man is] as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous [is] made plain.

Deuteronomy 21:20-21 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son [is] stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; [he is] a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Proverbs 23:21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe [a man] with rags.

[NonBiasedChristian]

No, I am quoting Christ. I want you to tell me why the Savior is wrong. He said stop judging by outward apperance. But You are apparently right, and he is wrong. But, seriously, I would be delighted if you told me what Jesus meant.

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by NonBiasedChristian

No, I am quoting Christ. I want you to tell me why the Savior is wrong. He said stop judging by outward apperance. But You are apparently right, and he is wrong. But, seriously, I would be delighted if you told me what Jesus meant.

I'm quoting the apostle Paul.

It means exactly what it says. Don't judge by appearances, but by the righteous judgment that says God can't stand slothful gluttons.

It's really not the difficult is it?