Salutations, comrades

CraterFace · **Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:02 AM

I joined this forum so that I could post in the 'Questions Evolutionists Can't Answer' thread, but there's no reason why I cannot introduce my self in a gentlemanly manner.

So, again, I say, salutations.

Jedediah · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:06 AM

Welcome, friend. Where is your Church home? Who is your Pastor? How did you come to walk with Christ? Please share some of your favorite Scripture.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:09 AM

Welcome to God's favorite forum. If it's Salvation™ you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jedediah

Welcome, friend. Where is your Church home? Who is your Pastor? How did you come to walk with Christ? Please share some of your favorite Scripture.

To answer your questions:

1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not require a church. He understands that the money could be spent on more important things, such as cures for various fatal illnesses.

2) I have no pastor, due to the previous answer.

3) It's an interesting story, really.

One night, I was walking home from school. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a man, but I soon realized that it was a black person disguised as a human. He let out a battle cry and proceeded to rip my pants off.

Suddenly, Jesus rocketed down from Skyland and punched the black person in the face. The mighty ape roared in pain and grabbed Jesus by the throat. But, Jesus was not at a loss. He used Za Warudo and froze time. He then grabbed my hand and we went for a pleasant walk through time.

And that is how I came to walk with Jesus.

My personal favorite Scriptures are the ones that describe God's likeness to a unicorn. After reading them, I realized that the Judeo-Christian God was actually the Invisible Pink Unicorn, explaining why Christians are so intolerant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Pastafarianism.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

<<hate and insults>>

Young lady, we are actually blessed by your insults. The more you persecute us, the closer we are to the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10:
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Enjoy Hell.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Alex

Young lady, we are actually blessed by your insults. The more you persecute us, the closer we are to the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10:
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Enjoy Hell.

I'm not understanding how any of my post was insulting. I was sharing my genuine religious experience.

Well, if guys like you go to Heaven, Hell may not be so bad.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

I'm not understanding how any of my post was insulting. I was sharing my genuine religious experience.

Well, if guys like you go to Heaven, Hell may not be so bad.

Friend, you came here for a reason. Jesus wants you to be Saved© so why don't you begin with telling us why you hate Him so much? It's never too late to get Saved© you know.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Alex

Friend, you came here for a reason. Jesus wants you to be Saved© so why don't you begin with telling us why you hate Him so much? It's never too late to get Saved© you know.

'Saved' is not a copyrighted word, and it's ridiculous to treat it as such.

Now then, I do not hate your god. Rather, I find that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a much more logical explanation for the creation of the universe.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

I find that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a much more logical explanation for the creation of the universe.

Well, has your "Flying Spaghetti Monster" ever written a best selling book?

Didn't think so.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Alex

Well, has your "Flying Spaghetti Monster" ever written a best selling book?

Didn't think so.

http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Flying-.../dp/0812976568

Not to mention that 'God' didn't write the Bible. People wrote it. You claim that it was inspired by God.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Flying-.../dp/0812976568

Not to mention that 'God' didn't write the Bible. People wrote it. You claim that it was inspired by God.

They wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, so technically God wrote it.

And this book you linked to was not written by a "Flying Spaghetti Monster", but some dumb Godmocker named Bobby Henderson.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Alex

They wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, so technically God wrote it.

And this book you linked to was not written by a "Flying Spaghetti Monster", but some dumb Godmocker named Bobby Henderson.

He wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, so technically the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote it.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

He wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, so technically the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote it.

Could you please show me some evidence for your claims?

And you never answered my question properly: Why do you hate Jesus?

Brittin · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:11 AM

I don't think Repto (Or Crater as you see him) has a hatred for Jesus.

He finds it amusing that you fight back. You fuel his reason to keep
posting. He knows the you will fight back with more and more aggravation
until finally you just give in, which in turn gives him satisfaction.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Alex

Could you please show me some evidence for your claims?

And you never answered my question properly: Why do you hate Jesus?

I have as much evidence as you do, a book and faith. So does every other religion.

I do not hate Jesus. I just do not recognize him as being divine. The FSM did not have a son.

Mrs. Mary Whitford · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:16 AM

I've got my eyes on you, friend. We are not retardeds here. Do you honestly think you are the first slimy atheist to ramble on about the "Flying Spaghetti Monster" here?
Warning: Don't let me catch you using the words "noodly appendage" or there will be consequences.

CraterFace · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

I've got my eyes on you, friend. We are not retardeds here. Do you honestly think you are the first slimy atheist to ramble on about the "Flying Spaghetti Monster" here?
Warning: Don't let me catch you using the words "noodly appendage" or there will be consequences.

I do not claim to be the first to attempt to spread the holy word of the FSM.
But, I do not understand what is so wrong about mentioning his noodly appendages. They are often helpful when he goes about smiting sinners.

Chris T · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

I do not claim to be the first to attempt to spread the holy word of the FSM.
But, I do not understand what is so wrong about mentioning his noodly appendages. They are often helpful when he goes about smiting sinners.

Why do you hate God so much?
Do you think He enjoys your feeble atheisn't attempt at sarcasm?
You atheisn'ts spew all the same nonsense, and you'll roast all the same!

James Dewitt · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

I have as much evidence as you do, a book and faith. So does every other religion.

I do not hate Jesus. I just do not recognize him as being divine. The FSM did not have a son.

As I type this Jesus has just filling out your one way ticket to Hell. Satan has kicked the furnace into overdrive and is awaiting your emanate arrival.

Brother Alex · **Re: Salutations, comrades -** 04-25-2010, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

I have as much evidence as you do, a book and faith. So does every other religion.

Don't insult my intelligence. I know very well that this "Flying Spaghetti Monster" of yours is an atheist concept used to mock our faith. We have a lot of evidence for God's existence, just look around on this forum and you'll see what I'm talking about. Also, the Holy Bible clearly states:

2 Timothy 3:16:
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

The book I follow was written by holy men of God, while the book you claim to follow was written by an atheist retard. Think about that for a while.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crater

I do not hate Jesus. I just do not recognize him as being divine. The FSM did not have a son.

By denying Jesus as the Son of God, you obviously hate him. So I'll repeat my question: Why do you hate Jesus?