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Default What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-05-2007, 11:56 PM

Excuse me, it may be the wrong place to post this. I looked, but all the other places speak about religion only, and this one seems to be about poems.

I just wanted to ask you what kind of music do you like?

Music is important, it's like a prayer. Myself I play the clarinet and the saxophone for 12 years. I like classic music (Wagner, Verdi, Tchaikovski, Strauss...and Orff! Do you know Carmina Burana?) as well as modern music (human league, duran duran, boney m...)

I heard there was "christian rock" in the USA. Do you really listen to that?
And the Gospel must sound great too. Unfortunately, the music in our churches is particularly pityfull, most of the times it's a old guy playing simplistic tunes with a big organ.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert from Belgium View Post
Music is important, it's like a prayer. Myself I play the clarinet and the saxophone for 12 years. I like classic music (Wagner, Verdi, Tchaikovski, Strauss...and Orff! Do you know Carmina Burana?) as well as modern music (human league, duran duran, boney m...)
Don't you find the those instraments disturbing friend? When being used they look like nothing more than someone is orally servicing a brass tallywacker. Hardly the image a Christian should present to the world.



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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 12:42 AM

whoo another clarinet player!

but um. clarinets and saxaphones (well.not saxaphones alteast) dont really resemble a "tallywhacker"

and the clarinet is just....long. so i guess all things that are long resemble "tallywhackers" ?

oh man. my entire post is deliciously perverted.

and instruments being used for sex; thats only on american pie.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 12:43 AM

a lot of things resemble "tallywhackers", but ONLY to the PERVERTED mind such as your own!

oh whose the "sinner" now...

i play B-flat clarinet and love it.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 02:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaunasaurus View Post
a lot of things resemble "tallywhackers", but ONLY to the PERVERTED mind such as your own!

oh whose the "sinner" now...

i play B-flat clarinet and love it.
Son,

We True Christians™ care NOT to hear about your skin flute playing abilities.

Get the HENCE!

Since you were asking about True Christian™ Music. Here is a WONDERFUL thread with HEAVENLY recommendations.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...hristian+Music

With Love, Sister Thumper




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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 03:59 PM

I really try to understand you, but it's difficult to me because you are really different from all the people I have met before.

1) Why do you call me "friend" or "son"? It must be kind but it disturbs me.

2)
Quote:
Don't you find the those instraments disturbing friend? When being used they look like nothing more than someone is orally servicing a brass tallywacker. Hardly the image a Christian should present to the world.
Is it serious? Are you also against sausages, pencils, lollypops and carrots?
You really always see sins everywhere or it's just because I (as a unsaved poor sinner) posted it?

3)
Quote:
Since you were asking about True Christian™ Music. Here is a WONDERFUL thread with HEAVENLY recommendations.
I watched this thread. Since I don't know any of those titles, I may not judge, but you always listen to this kind of music only? You seem to live in autharcy, cut from the rest of the world, speaking about God all day long. Don't you feel any curiosity about what happens outside your community?
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 06:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bert from Belgium View Post
Is it serious? Are you also against sausages, pencils, lollypops and carrots?
You really always see sins everywhere or it's just because I (as a unsaved poor sinner) posted it?
Friend, sin is all around us! Homerism is Satanism and soybeans are the messengers. Just look at this Belgian advertisement:
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 07:22 PM

Pastor (how should I call you? Dad? Daddy? Father?) I just would like to say that your post is a lie (or if you intended to be humorous, I did not see it)

What is written on this picture looks like Polish or some Slave language. You know that it is not in French nor Dutch, so not Belgian, yet you posted it saying it was.

I don't know a lot about the Bible, OK, but i know that lying is a sin. So if you want to show me the example, don't sin.
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Default Re: What Belgians lack? - 01-06-2007, 07:40 PM

Q: How can you tell a Belgian?

A: That he has no sense of humor?

Q: Yes, precisely!

A: So, how can you tell a Belgian that he has no sense of humor?

Q: You can't.

A: I'm supposed to give the answers!

Q: OK, so what is the question?

A: The point is moot:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
....I just would like to say that your post is a lie
(or if you intended to be humorous, I did not see it)...
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 07:54 PM

lol.

OK, it's my turn.

"Quel est le fruit préféré de l'homme?
La nana."

You don't laugh? So you don't have any sense of humor neither, my friend
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 08:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
lol.

OK, it's my turn.

"Quel est le fruit préféré de l'homme?
La nana."

You don't laugh? So you don't have any sense of humor neither, my friend
That's sick and disgusting! I rebuke you in JESUS' holy name!


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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 08:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
lol.

OK, it's my turn.

"Quel est le fruit préféré de l'homme?
La nana."

You don't laugh? So you don't have any sense of humor neither, my friend
Literal, babelfish translation:

"Which is the preferred fruit of the man? The chick."

Now let's correct it and see if it becomes funny:

"What is a guy's favorite fruit? The chick!"

idioms do not translate

Let me make it funny(er), OK?

"What is a fruit's favorite guy? The cock!"

get it?

Do you know that "fruit" is slang for "homer"?
Do you know that a chick is female and a cock is not?
Do you know that Jesus hates you very much today?
Do you know you do not know?
Do you? Do you?










Q: What is the fruit's favorite place for chicken?

A: The Cock Inn.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-06-2007, 08:44 PM

What is funny in this joke is not the word "chick". I knew you would translate it like this, "la nana".

In fact, thats a play on words, a pun:
la nana = the chick
l'ananas : the ananas

The favorite fruit of men = the ananas

You did not understand because you are not frenchspeaker.
I did not understand you were kidding because I am not englishpeaker. Excuse me.

Quote:
get it?
Yes, I'm more subtle than that, even in English!
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 01:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Son,

We True Christians™ care NOT to hear about your skin flute playing abilities.

Get the HENCE!

Since you were asking about True Christian™ Music. Here is a WONDERFUL thread with HEAVENLY recommendations.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...hristian+Music

With Love, Sister Thumper

Excuse me.
i'm not a "Son", i have a vagina which i insert the very conveinient "SATAN FINGERS" (or what us NORMAL americans call TAMPONS) into everytime i'm on my monthly bleeding period. Therefore i'm a woman.

Sorry but i DO NOT beleive i have a "skin flute" considering what you meant to say with that name.

And REAL clarinets arn't made with skin, they're made with wood or plastic. And they arn't flutes, they are CLARINETS. Get it right. There is a real big difference.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 01:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaunasaurus View Post
Excuse me.
i'm not a "Son", i have a vagina which i insert the very conveinient "SATAN FINGERS" (or what us NORMAL americans call TAMPONS) into everytime i'm on my monthly bleeding period. Therefore i'm a woman.

Sorry but i DO NOT beleive i have a "skin flute" considering what you meant to say with that name.

And REAL clarinets arn't made with skin, they're made with wood or plastic. And they arn't flutes, they are CLARINETS. Get it right. There is a real big difference.
You are a FEMALE?!?!?!? Named Shaun? Pull the other one.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You are a FEMALE?!?!?!? Named Shaun? Pull the other one.
Correction, my name is Shauna. Notice the A, please.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 01:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaunasaurus View Post
Correction, my name is Shauna. Notice the A, please.
Don't be parading your "A" in this GODLY FORUM! Have some decency!


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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 02:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Don't be parading your "A" in this GODLY FORUM! Have some decency!

It's a simple LETTER in my name i was pointing out. The "A" in my name makes the difference between being a boy or girl, and i'm a girl, which is why i have an "A" at the end of my name.

Uhm...duh?
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 02:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaunasaurus View Post
Uhm...duh?
Well, now we are certain that you are a female. Your intellectual abilities are those of a guppy.

Do you have a man's permission to be in this forum discussing Jesus? Your father or your husband?

1 Corinthians 14:34-36
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.


Now run and fetch me a cold beer, girl. Chopchop!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well, now we are certain that you are a female. Your intellectual abilities are those of a guppy.

Do you have a man's permission to be in this forum discussing Jesus? Your father or your husband?

1 Corinthians 14:34-36
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.


Now run and fetch me a cold beer, girl. Chopchop!
leave shauna alone. she doesnt care about your bible verses. and i dont think she really wants you to talk about how "dumb" she is.


shes smarter than most of you people here.
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