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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 03:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Don't you find the those instraments disturbing friend? When being used they look like nothing more than someone is orally servicing a brass tallywacker. Hardly the image a Christian should present to the world.
Is that all you guys think about is giving oral sex? And anal sex. It seems like you're having facinations about something...
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 03:11 AM

aww thanks molly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well, now we are certain that you are a female. Your intellectual abilities are those of a guppy.

Do you have a man's permission to be in this forum discussing Jesus? Your father or your husband?

1 Corinthians 14:34-36
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.


Now run and fetch me a cold beer, girl. Chopchop!
And excuse me? My intellectual abilities arn't that of a guppy, if i'm able to speak english and know how to work a computer, my OWN computer, not some man's computer.
I don't need anyone's permission to be on some website, i'm an independent human being just like yourself.

Except i'm not rude.
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 03:14 AM

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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
Is that all you guys think about is giving oral sex? And anal sex. It seems like you're having facinations about something...

Wow i think you're right!
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 10:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
What is funny in this joke is not the word "chick". I knew you would translate it like this, "la nana".

In fact, thats a play on words, a pun:
la nana = the chick
l'ananas : the ananas

The favorite fruit of men = the ananas

You did not understand because you are not frenchspeaker.
I did not understand you were kidding because I am not englishpeaker. Excuse me.



Yes, I'm more subtle than that, even in English!

Reclaiming your thread now from the tampon insertions of ShawnA et cie...

Start fresh,

Good day, Bub.
Thanks for explaning. I did sense that "banana" was an idiom central to the joke.
It's a good joke.

Q: How on earth did you choose "Bub" for a screen name?
It's--like, hard to address anyone as "Bub".

OTOH, as we deprogram your formerly narrow mind, and make you more nearly American,
would it be alright to call you "Bubba"?

BUBBA is a time-honored Southern Baptist redneck Georgia name.

Why, and this is no lie, I had a great Uncle Bubba!
He lived in a shotgun shack up on cinderblocks in rural Georgia. Long, long gone now.

An edumacated redneck, our Uncle Bubba was a strange and squirrely man;
he lived like the Collyer Brothers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers
Uncle Bubba was a batchelor for eighty years,
and at eighty he was still chasing after beehive-haired waitresses,
the fool. This trait runs in my family today. He never caught one either.

I could tell stories and often do.
But today, I would like to address you by your real first name (if you will share that?),
or address you as "Bubba" instead of (ugh!) "Bub"
because "Bub" is a rude nickname you've applied to yourself--"Hey Bub",
is an obsolete slang salutation designed to insult the recipient.

Your friend in Christ,
Peter
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 12:34 PM

Thx for your compassion my friend.

Bub is an acronym (you know what is an acronym?) of "Bright & Ultra Blessed".

As for my real name, it's a long one and I'm affraid your brainwashed, inhibated and Bible-addicted mind would provide you enough concentration to read it from the begining to the end without watching in your KJB1611 for a racist verset, however I'll be knightly and display you my famous, glorious and holy name:

Jean-Baptiste

Jean (like the Apostle, if you have not censored it in your version of the Bible) and Baptiste (like the guy who spilt magic water on unsaved fellows as the first step of the brainwashing; also the name of your sect, unluckily)

If you have any more question about English grammar or culture, just ask me, my friend, I'll be pleased to answer you.

At your service

JB
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 01:01 PM

Yes, I know acronyms.

OK, JB is very easy and natural here.

Later, JB, thanks,

we both must mind our Ps and Qs,


PP,
PDQ on the uptake
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 02:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
Thx for your compassion my friend.

Bub is an acronym (you know what is an acronym?) of "Bright & Ultra Blessed".

As for my real name, it's a long one and I'm affraid your brainwashed, inhibated and Bible-addicted mind would provide you enough concentration to read it from the begining to the end without watching in your KJB1611 for a racist verset, however I'll be knightly and display you my famous, glorious and holy name:

Jean-Baptiste

Jean (like the Apostle, if you have not censored it in your version of the Bible) and Baptiste (like the guy who spilt magic water on unsaved fellows as the first step of the brainwashing; also the name of your sect, unluckily)

If you have any more question about English grammar or culture, just ask me, my friend, I'll be pleased to answer you.

At your service

JB
Boy, you've never learned the meaning of the word "humble" have you, can you even spell it?


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 03:27 PM

Quote:
Boy, you've never learned the meaning of the word "humble" have you, can you even spell it?
Friend...you say I've no humor, but when I joke you think I'm serious
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-07-2007, 06:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
Friend...you say I've no humor, but when I joke you think I'm serious
Just so everyone understands you, I think we should change your name to Jean-Papiste.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-08-2007, 03:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
Friend...you say I've no humor, but when I joke you think I'm serious
It's just that, you don't have any (sense of) humor.
Your jokes are too boring to tell them apart from your usual rants.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-08-2007, 11:46 PM

Quote:
Your jokes are too boring to tell them apart from your usual rants.
Ooooh gimme one more chance, dude!

Jesus is on the cross, still alive, with roman soldiers around him.
Jesus: "John...John..."
John: "What can I do, my Lord?"
Jesus: "Come over here...John....John..."
John wants to come closer to Jesus, but a Roman soldier takes his sword and shouts "Stay away"
Jesus: "John...come on...John"
John pushes the Roman soldier and runs towards the Lord, but the other soldiers catch him and cut his arm
Jesus: "John...John...come over here...John..."
John pushes the other soldiers and runs a few meters, but he is caught again and they cut his leg
Jesus: "John...please...hurry up...John..."
John suffers a lot and lost a lot of blood, but is still strong enough to push the Roman soldiers, and jumps on his leg, but the Romans catch him and cut off his second leg
Jesus: "John..."
John crawls towards Jesus, the Roman soldiers take pity of him and let him go to the Lord...
John, very weak: "What can I do for you, holy Lord?"
Jesus: "Look over there, I can see your house from here!"

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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-08-2007, 11:56 PM

WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-08-2007, 11:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
Ooooh gimme one more chance, dude!
BLASPHEMY EDITED!!!
Now you got Pastor really mad!



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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: What kind of music do Baptists like? - 01-09-2007, 03:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bub. View Post
What is funny in this joke is not the word "chick". I knew you would translate it like this, "la nana".

In fact, thats a play on words, a pun:
la nana = the chick
l'ananas : the ananas

The favorite fruit of men = the ananas

You did not understand because you are not frenchspeaker.
I did not understand you were kidding because I am not englishpeaker. Excuse me.



Yes, I'm more subtle than that, even in English!
So let's see if I understood your joke right:
What is the favourite food of a homme?
The ananus.

No, that can't be it, I must have misunderstood, not even a Belgian could be that sick.
What is the favourite food of a Belgian man?
The pink banana.

Is that closer to the original meaning? Dear Lord, no wonder they call all the men "hommers" over there.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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