[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Brothers and sisters: I humbly submit my first ever poem which was thrust into my mind literally moments ago upon seeing the forum homepage.

Please let me know your opinion of it. It is from the heart, true to be told, and a poet I am certainly not (although I do think the rhymes are harmonious), but I did feel the needd to share my striving for the True Path and share this with you all.

I humbly welcome any advice to improve it, though I feel that a poem written almost in rapture is enough in itself. As I said, I would like to know if it is worthy. Thanks you.



Alas, am I a sinner poor
My old beliefs were horse manure
The light I saw some time back
A King James Bible on a rack
of a Christian bookshop.

My name, Lost Sheep, means that I
know I am not yet high and dry
regarding Salvation which I will try
to achieve in a Christian charitable honouring the Lord Jesus in an appropriate way before I die
after which I hope to see you all in the afterlife.

My thanks I give to Pastor Zeke
for his giving me the occasional spiritual tweek
as I struggle to put the past behind me
and leave the sin that once did bind me
to quite nasty heathen practices

Born a Scot
it is my lot
to get shot
of the God-hated heathenness that would make one more than sufficiently deserve to be shot
straight to the bad fire underneath Iceland.

So I pray thee Lord
Take out thy sword
and beknight me with the strength
to fulfill the guidance my Brethren here give me at great length
and God Bless them all a million times over three times doubled fairly.

This prayer I offer up
the whiskey bottle I long past gave up
for a better cup
from which to sup
up and up
and finish that cup
and take up
The true Christian path.

Pray help on my new-found road
let the sinner next me goad
and leave him with his brain of toad
and welcome me in thy abode.

Amen.

Lost Shhep MacUinnean,

[Petal]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

Born a Scot
it is my lot
to get shot
of the God-hated heathenness that would make one more than sufficiently deserve to be shot
straight to the bad fire underneath Iceland.

Mr.McUinnean, i gonna prays that you get saveds so you not go to the bad fire unnerneath iceland please lord God, saves him!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Thank you petal, but I meant the heathenishness inherent in Scotland. That's waaaaaay behind me now I hope!

[Petal]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

Thank you petal, but I meant the heathenishness inherent in Scotland. That's waaaaaay behind me now I hope!

i real glads to hear that, Mr.McUinnean, cuz i not wants you to go to hell when you dies cuz then you woulds have to spends all eternitys wiv a bunch of eskimos an athiests an wickers an even catlicks

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

I meant the heathenishness inherent in Scotland. That's waaaaaay behind me now I hope!

And there are still a lot of sheep in ScotLand - are there not?

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by SUV

And there are still a lot of sheep in ScotLand - are there not?

I left Scotland 20 years ago. Last I knew a mad cousin of mine (McCanick) had hatched a plan to assassinate all of them. He bought himself a rifle, headed up to the highlands and was never seen again since. Rumours abound of some type of predator decimating sheep populations, but to be honest I have no idea. McCanick is aldo clinically insane. Insane enough to be English in fact.

What did you think of my poem?

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

What did you think of my poem?

It was rather excellent.

Would that I could get that other poem (set to music) off of my mind now: "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

What did you think of my poem?

Good!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Thank you all. I feel inspired enough now to write another. I shall be wroking on one dedicated to the Glories of our God-given farm animals I think. Perhaps, cows. I could write anudder one on that I think.

Pray He giveth me the candle of rhyme and glorification brethren!

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

That was an excellent poem! You have a talent, sir. I eagerly await your next one.

[Larry Lee]

Well, Brother, your poem's a start, but let's not overlook its numerous omissions, which include:

* Only one mention of our precious Jesus Holy name
* No mention of God's favorite Church, Landover Baptist
* Tithing? Do you think it's optional?
* Gun ownership? Do you take it for granted?
* Osambo? Don't you think he's the antichrist?
* Your responsibility to breed soldiers for Christ? Your poem sure doesn't show any desire in that area
* Your love of BibleThumpinBlond's pie? Do you think we just know these things?
* Your desire to enjoy the fellowship of True Christians™ only and to leave fluffy bunny Christians behind? Where's that?

Well, I could go on, but probably others can add to the list I've started.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by Larry Lee

Well, Brother, your poem's a start, but let's not overlook its numerous omissions, which include:

* Only one mention of our precious Jesus Holy name
* No mention of God's favorite Church, Landover Baptist
* Tithing? Do you think it's optional?
* Gun ownership? Do you take it for granted?
* Osambo? Don't you think he's the antichrist?
* Your responsibility to breed soldiers for Christ? Your poem sure doesn't show any desire in that area
* Your love of BibleThumpinBlond's pie? Do you think we just know these things?
* Your desire to enjoy the fellowship of True Christians™ only and to leave fluffy bunny Christians behind? Where's that?

Well, I could go on, but probably others can add to the list I've started.

Thank you immensely Brother. That is EXACTLY the type of critique I need. I shall thry to address these failings when writing again.

God Bless you and your literary skills.