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Reload this Page Hi, I'm Amelia [Young but wise as a serpent]
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-02-2022, 05:58 AM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Hmm, we have a ladies' forum for discussions of a vaginatory nature. Please be advised that as your security clearance is currently Unsaved Trash, you cannot start your own thread but you are able to comment in relevant preexisting threads.

I hope this helps.
I'm not sure if it can be called that but thank you Much appreciated.

A question though, If I were to post a thread in the Introduction Forum that belonged in another forum, is there a chance it would be moved if it were good enough?
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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-02-2022, 11:01 AM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
If I were to post a thread in the Introduction Forum that belonged in another forum, is there a chance it would be moved if it were good enough?
I will not only do that, I will eat my fourth-of-July hat while doing it. And it's a sturdy hat: the Chinese are really building things tough these days.


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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-02-2022, 11:32 AM

We understand that you may not feel comfortable discussing your lady problems, but if you don't get married and bear at least one child, you will go to Hell. It's all there in 1 Timothy 2:15. We're trying to save you from that fate, as we attempt to save all sinners through our proselytizing and evangelizing.


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From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-02-2022, 12:50 PM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
A question though, If I were to post a thread in the Introduction Forum that belonged in another forum, is there a chance it would be moved if it were good enough?
You can just copy-paste them in that thread if you feel so inclined I guess.

I did find a loophole that might safe you from any brimstone. In Matthew 12:31-32 Jesus talks about men. You should not be afflicted then, and yes, I did assume your gender.

Unfortunately, here I can not tell you where to find all those cute pirate hamsters


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Scared Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-02-2022, 02:30 PM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
Personal concerns that I'd rather not share nor discuss on a public domain like this.
God sees all. He keeps our Pastors well informed.

This is not a public domain, it is the Divine Property of LBC. As you already know, you can not just walk through the doors, you must past a series of test to ensure you might be worthy of Gods Everlasting Love©.

Then the DOF does a thorough background check, interviewing your known associates, neighbors, employers, co-workers. It is only a matter of time before the Truth® comes out. From my experience, it is better to willing come clean right from the start Vs. having the facts be dug up. I know Bobby-Joe and the boys do not like having to dig up the dirt and instead much prefer to just verify.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-02-2022, 02:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
Personal concerns that I'd rather not share nor discuss on a public domain like this.
Things that you'd rather not discuss on a public forum are probably best not mentioned at all, in my opinion.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Post Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-03-2022, 01:55 AM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
We understand that you may not feel comfortable discussing your lady problems, but if you don't get married and bear at least one child, you will go to Hell. It's all there in 1 Timothy 2:15. We're trying to save you from that fate, as we attempt to save all sinners through our proselytizing and evangelizing.
I just noticed something, the verse says "she shall be saved in childbearing". Knowing that childbearing can result in death, I suppose it could also imply that God keeps us safe while bearing a child rather than it being a salvation requirement. I mean they didn't exactly have state-of-the-art medical equipment back in the day and death through childbearing was quite common. Kinda makes more sense that way since it says "in" rather than "by"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
I did find a loophole that might safe you from any brimstone. In Matthew 12:31-32 Jesus talks about men. You should not be afflicted then, and yes, I did assume your gender.

Unfortunately, here I can not tell you where to find all those cute pirate hamsters

Yay! Saved by a technicality!

I found the Pirate hamsters but they were sold out.

Random fact: Spaghetti is indeed one of the greatest edible inventions on this planet

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God sees all. He keeps our Pastors well informed.
Does that mean you're saying that even if I don't mention my exact concerns here, the pastors here will be informed by God?
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Bible Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-03-2022, 03:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
I just noticed something, the verse says "she shall be saved in childbearing". Knowing that childbearing can result in death, I suppose it could also imply that God keeps us safe while bearing a child rather than it being a salvation requirement. I mean they didn't exactly have state-of-the-art medical equipment back in the day and death through childbearing was quite common. Kinda makes more sense that way since it says "in" rather than "by"
1 Timothy 6:20
O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

I am afraid that you are on the verge of succumbing to vain babblings about prepositions. However, this can be easily solved. We can look into the vernacular of ancient Grease, the language God used in expectation of the American tongue. He used it to transmit His will unto the peoples of the ancient world. Here's the verse 1 Timothy 2:15 in that linguistic nightmare, as follows:

I Timothy 2:15
σωθήσεται δὲ διὰ τῆς τεκνογονίας, ἐὰν μείνωσιν ἐν πίστει καὶ ἀγάπῃ καὶ ἁγιασμῷ μετὰ σωφροσύνης.

The important part is obviously σωθήσεται δὲ διὰ τῆς τεκνογονίας, of which σωθήσεται is 3rd person singular of future indicative passive voice, "(s)he/it will be saved", δὲ is just a conjunction (however), then comes the important preposition διὰ, which means "through". The remaining part τῆς τεκνογονίας is just the definite article followed by the feminine singular genitive of the word "childbearing". Putting aside your attempts to make this an escape clause for you, it clearly means that unless a woman gives birth, the sins of the Fall from Grace (as stated in the previous verse, see also Genesis 3:6 for reference) are just too enormous to let her enter Heaven. Barren women are most probably either those who failed to Pray (Matthew 21:22) or were sinners who God does not listen to anyway (John 9:31). If you wish to be Saved®, you need to start begetting. One way to gain a husband is nicely depicted in Deuteronomy 22:28-30 - it will also lead to permanent financial security as a divorce is impossible! Glory to Jesus for that!

On a related note, I'd like to inquire about your name, Amelia. As we all know, it is also the name of a congenital deformaation, the absence of one or more limbs! This is obviously quite bad as it indicates that some of your ancestors (3-4 generations with regular sins as in Exodus 20:5, but up to ten generations in cases of a bastard in the bloodline, as in Deuteronomy 23:2) defied God! Did you use to live in Ashdod!? I am only asking, of course. Do you have any idea of the sins they committed to make you so horribly disfigured?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-03-2022, 03:36 AM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
Yay! Saved by a technicality!
What Roland is saying, and for reasons I can't fathom since it's a complete non sequiter that literally no one had brought up earlier in this thread, is that there may be a technicality exempting women from the one unforgivable sin: blaspheming the Holy Spirit. All this means is that (possibly, as this has not been verified by LBC theologians) you might not be able to irrevocably damn yourself while still alive. This does not mean that you are magically saved.

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Does that mean you're saying that even if I don't mention my exact concerns here, the pastors here will be informed by God?
Pastor Zeke is indeed in close contact with Jesus on the regular. Whether that has any positive bearing on any individual member here is directly correlated with their tithing status.


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Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
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Jesus Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-03-2022, 04:52 AM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
I mean they didn't exactly have state-of-the-art medical equipment back in the day and death through childbearing was quite common. Kinda makes more sense that way since it says "in" rather than "by"
Who cares if those old-time Jewesses died in childbirth? One who doesn't have Jesus in their heart spends an eternity in Hell. Those Jewesses who died in childbirth, or two days after, or two years, or twenty years are STILL suffering in Hell, thousands of years later. In fact when you wake up tomorrow, they'll STILL be suffering!
Why?

Because our LORD is a Lord of JUSTICE!

And True Christians™ will be Saved because He is a Lord of MERCY!

Glory!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Sinner Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-03-2022, 11:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
...
Does that mean you're saying that even if I don't mention my exact concerns here, the pastors here will be informed by God?
Playing games (and trying to cheat) with God never ends well. He is 60 moves ahead of you.
I personally do not care if you are a guy who thinks he is a lesbian Squash. Not my business. But every bit of deceit and lies you tell goes in your permanent record.

Whether God decides to act upon you tomorrow or wait until Judgement Day™ is up to Him.


Consider this:
You're riding your bike, all proud because your dad took off the training wheels. A Good Humor truck comes and runs over your gut, causing your body to burst and spray entrails all over the street.


You're dead


Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begins falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save© your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-04-2022, 10:37 PM

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Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
On a related note, I'd like to inquire about your name, Amelia. As we all know, it is also the name of a congenital deformaation, the absence of one or more limbs! This is obviously quite bad as it indicates that some of your ancestors (3-4 generations with regular sins as in Exodus 20:5, but up to ten generations in cases of a bastard in the bloodline, as in Deuteronomy 23:2) defied God! Did you use to live in Ashdod!? I am only asking, of course. Do you have any idea of the sins they committed to make you so horribly disfigured?
I really did not need to know this...
My parents named me after a woman who introduced my mum to Christ and helped her out of a rough time in her life.


I've never heard of Ashdod and I'm definitely not disfigured.
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Rebuke Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-05-2022, 02:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
I really did not need to know this...
My parents named me after a woman who introduced my mum to Christ and helped her out of a rough time in her life.

I've never heard of Ashdod and I'm definitely not disfigured.
Oh dear, if you have never heard of Ashdod, it indicates that you have not read your Bible properly! Please do some research on this issue as it is an easy way to reveal the sins of your ancestors.

I am not yet convinced of your disfiguration considering your deficiencies in Bible study (but they can be ameliorated with reading the KJV). I am wondering if this has caused Spiritual Amelia, loss of the spiritual tendrils of the soul that could connect you to Christ and lead to Salvation®. I am optimistic that with proper Bible study you could be OK as long as you have stayed clear of Matthew 12:31.

Matthew 7:21
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-05-2022, 09:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Oh dear, if you have never heard of Ashdod, it indicates that you have not read your Bible properly! Please do some research on this issue as it is an easy way to reveal the sins of your ancestors.

I am not yet convinced of your disfiguration considering your deficiencies in Bible study (but they can be ameliorated with reading the KJV). I am wondering if this has caused Spiritual Amelia, loss of the spiritual tendrils of the soul that could connect you to Christ and lead to Salvation®. I am optimistic that with proper Bible study you could be OK as long as you have stayed clear of Matthew 12:31.
The problem is I have a lack of bible knowledge that comes from having not read the whole book and until recently not very often either. There's a lot in there I don't actually know or have forgotten.
Whilst I have learnt a decent amount while here, I'm well aware I've still much and more to go
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Jesus Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-05-2022, 09:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
The problem is I have a lack of bible knowledge that comes from having not read the whole book and until recently not very often either. There's a lot in there I don't actually know or have forgotten.
Whilst I have learnt a decent amount while here, I'm well aware I've still much and more to go
This is wonderful! Admitting one's ignorance is the first step towards Redemption!
1 Peter 2:15
For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

But don't wait too long. God is getting impatient!

Acts 17:30
And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:

We'll be here to answer any questions you may have and, please, don't hesitate to post your questions in other relevant threads, as well!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Jesus Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-05-2022, 11:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
This is wonderful! Admitting one's ignorance is the first step towards Redemption!
1 Peter 2:15
For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

But don't wait too long. God is getting impatient!

Acts 17:30
And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:

We'll be here to answer any questions you may have and, please, don't hesitate to post your questions in other relevant threads, as well!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer
Here, here!


Admitting you are utterly ignorant Amelia is the First Step ®. Do not be ashamed, nearly all females are clueless about the world and have to have a strong male figure in their lives to dominate them.
You need to read the ENTIRE Bible and live by all of it. It says jump, you read further to see how high you must jump to please Him. You must lay prostate in front of your Savior and expose your deepest, darkest secrets to Him with no shame in honesty.
A child hiding in a toilet, whose face is covered with what appears at first glance to be chocolate, the Gods Honest Truth© is there, it up to you to admit the source of your filth.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia - 07-05-2022, 12:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
Whilst I have learnt a decent amount while here, I'm well aware I've still much and more to go
Wow. That's exactly what we like to hear.

Either you are wise beyond your years, or you are very manipulative and skillful at it. Either way, there is a place for you in our family.

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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia [Young but wise as a serpent] - 07-05-2022, 11:49 PM

Wise is not a word I would use to describe myself. I still get into trouble for dumb stuff every now and then . That's all part of growing up I suppose.


If I have any questions I'll be sure to ask
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Default Re: Hi, I'm Amelia [Young but wise as a serpent] - 07-06-2022, 12:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
Wise is not a word I would use to describe myself. I still get into trouble for dumb stuff every now and then . That's all part of growing up I suppose.


If I have any questions I'll be sure to ask
Hi. Always interested to read your posts because until I read God's message to us I had no way of knowing who He was. Sometimes mockers argue that Bible verses describe impossible scenes. Fantastic vistas having no basis in reality. Always for that to be true the context HAS TO BE LEFT OUT. One example is Jacob's ladder. "How can a ladder reach to Heaven?" they say.

I'm sure you have dreams. Yesterday I dreamed I was trying to get on a train and although the driver wouldn't slow down [I was frantically waving my arms] the guard opened the door. The train was going faster and faster. I missed the first door. Could I catch the next door? I ran.. and ran.. and grabbed.. and grabbed.. it was a dream. That's the bit the doubters leave out.
Genesis 28:10-12 And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran … and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.
The idea of Jacob's ladder is not about the location of Heaven: it's about a dream: details like this sort the attention grabbers from the reality of God's revelation. In the words He has preserved those details matter and as I read I saw just how important those words were.

Without them we'd have no information about God at all.
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Jesus Re: Hi, I'm Amelia [Young but wise as a serpent] - 07-06-2022, 02:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
The problem is I have a lack of bible knowledge that comes from having not read the whole book and until recently not very often either. There's a lot in there I don't actually know or have forgotten. Whilst I have learnt a decent amount while here, I'm well aware I've still much and more to go
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30 View Post
Wise is not a word I would use to describe myself. I still get into trouble for dumb stuff every now and then . That's all part of growing up I suppose. If I have any questions I'll be sure to ask
Oh, my; this is all so encouraging and reassuring, dear Miss Amelia. We are very pleased that you are willing to admit your need in understanding the will of the for you, as shown within the wondrous pages of the . Truly, this is a blessing from Almighty , given to you, as you seek :

Galatians 1:12 "For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of ."

And, what blessed assurance you will have, knowing that you have escaped your fate of spending eternity in the flames of everlasting , by spending eternity — instead — in your mortgage-free, fully-paid mansion in Heaven, as given to you by :

John 14:1-3:
1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in , believe also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.



And, now, to encourage you further, I am pleased to include a lovely song about your future mansion, as sung to you by Sister Glenda. I'm sure that this will bring a tear to your eye as you reflect on this glorious Truth of the message that Glenda brings for you. May bless you richly, Dear.





(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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