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Default When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 07:54 PM

First on Saturday, God broke the front legs of that uppity distaff bitch mare Eight Belles.

Then he sent a cyclone to kill thousands of people in Myanmar.

More than 10,000 people dead, and one horse (that we know of, there may have been some horses on Myanmar, but I doubt it, they probably ate it already).

Last night I was watching a show about big fish on PBS (yes it's secular; but on TBN was a rerun of Rod Parsley, so I watched PBS) and they claim the reason that there's not as many big fish is because there are too many people.

Apparently God agreed and thought the number was off by about 10,000 so he killed some people in Myanmar.

PRAISE JESUS!

YIC
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 08:13 PM

Is Landover sending anything to Myanmar to help the survivors? Maybe some Bibles (I'm not sure if we can get any in Burmese, though)?


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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 08:23 PM

GLORY!!!!

Just like Katrina! GOD is merely flushing his righteous cosmic toilet of "human waste".


Enjoy HELL sinners!!!!




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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 08:30 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
GLORY!!!!

Just like Katrina! GOD is merely flushing his righteous cosmic toilet of "human waste".


Enjoy HELL sinners!!!!
How do you define a sinner (human waste)? I am wondering for I am quite different compared to normal humans. I love walking in the woods during the night listening to music. I love philosophy ( Nietzsche, Mill, Locke etc) and creating melancholic art. Is this sinful behaviour? I usually dress in black and I love the culture of my pagan ancestors (the vikings), am I going to hell for this?
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 08:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freitod View Post
How do you define a sinner (human waste)? I am wondering for I am quite different compared to normal humans. I love walking in the woods during the night listening to music. I love philosophy ( Nietzsche, Mill, Locke etc) and creating melancholic art. Is this sinful behaviour? I usually dress in black and I love the culture of my pagan ancestors (the vikings), am I going to hell for this?
Were are you giving continuous, 24/7 thanks for Jesus in all this? Jesus died for your sins and all you talk about in "me, me, me, all about me".



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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 08:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freitod View Post
How do you define a sinner (human waste)? I am wondering for I am quite different compared to normal humans. I love walking in the woods during the night listening to music. I love philosophy ( Nietzsche, Mill, Locke etc) and creating melancholic art. Is this sinful behaviour? I usually dress in black and I love the culture of my pagan ancestors (the vikings), am I going to hell for this?
You are going to hell for your sins. It just so happens that most of the things you describe are sin.


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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 09:02 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
You are going to hell for your sins. It just so happens that most of the things you describe are sin.

Why? The bible clearly states that God loves us. If he loves human beings, then why does he let us suffer in hell or on earth? If God is good then why does he let evil exist? And why are we, being his creations, imperfect? It does not make sense.
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 09:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Were are you giving continuous, 24/7 thanks for Jesus in all this? Jesus died for your sins and all you talk about in "me, me, me, all about me".
Because I have not been provided with enough proof to convince myself that God exists. Besides, I was desribing my actions and wondering if they were sins, please read what I write before you chose to answer, I have little time for explaning things that are completely clear to the average person.
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 09:08 PM

"Myanmar"

This is an even more authentic Country than Bell-gum!

JESUS wants us to up our Tithes with any Money we could have blown to the wind. My GOD, it sounds like another planet!!!
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 09:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freitod View Post
Because I have not been provided with enough proof to convince myself that God exists. Besides, I was desribing my actions and wondering if they were sins, please read what I write before you chose to answer, I have little time for explaning things that are completely clear to the average person.
Of course silly you haven’t been provided with enough information about the existence of God, He wants you to worship Him out of Freewill, not because you are afraid of Him. Now if you don’t love Jesus how is He going to be able to stop from being damned to Hell? If Jesus answers your atheist prayers and behaves as He doesn’t exist He can’t help you.



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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-05-2008, 10:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Is Landover sending anything to Myanmar to help the survivors? Maybe some Bibles (I'm not sure if we can get any in Burmese, though)?
I talked with some folks from Samaritan's Purse and they already had some planes nearby, so I hired them to fly over the affected area and drop 10 crates of Bibles.

They said something about not having 10 crates Burmese language Bibles, but I told them that I would prefer to send them King James Bibles anyway. The Holy Ghost caused everyone to hear the apostles speak in their own language -- I'm certain He can cause the Burmese to read the apostles' words in their own language as well.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freitod View Post
Because I have not been provided with enough proof to convince myself that God exists.
In American, there is a difference between proof and Faith.

Proof, is rarely absolute proof. If you think about it, there is very little in the world that can be absolutely proven. Faith is what remains.

There is no proof for example that magnetism exists - we can see its effects but, because we do not know the final cause, we cannot be sure of it - but you have faith that magnetism is a fact.

Now, you ask for proof of God - this is ridiculous. God asks to observe His Word and have faith. He provides you with a manual - The Bible and lets you find out for yourself. If you cannot be sure, then, like magnetism, you have to have faith to make 100%.

I have seen people like you before, we provide many instances that point to the existence of God, and each time, you just say, "No!"

What I say to them is, "What would be proof for you?"

They then refuse to answer, which means that they would never, under any circumstances believe in God - they would deny God to the end. They waste our time.

Now, I will give you the same question, "What would be proof for you?"





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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 05:28 AM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
GLORY!!!!

Just like Katrina! GOD is merely flushing his righteous cosmic toilet of "human waste".


Enjoy HELL sinners!!!!
How dare you judge all their fates. You are probably the by-far the blindest person here. Cosmic toilet? how disgusting. I pity you and V.
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 05:39 AM

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Originally Posted by BiskitFoo View Post
How dare you judge all their fates. You are probably the by-far the blindest person here. Cosmic toilet? how disgusting. I pity you and V.
Tell me, Foo, do you Seven-Day Sinners believe that God is omniscient (all-knowing) and omnipotent (all-powerful)? Or not?


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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 07:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
I talked with some folks from Samaritan's Purse and they already had some planes nearby, so I hired them to fly over the affected area and drop 10 crates of Bibles.

They said something about not having 10 crates Burmese language Bibles, but I told them that I would prefer to send them King James Bibles anyway. The Holy Ghost caused everyone to hear the apostles speak in their own language -- I'm certain He can cause the Burmese to read the apostles' words in their own language as well.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
Pastor Billy,(of course Brother V) I think you must be the only sound pastors out there...ever..! You always make perfect sense.

It must suck for God to choose an area to destoy 10 thousand folks on the weekend..

I bet I was not a sinner last Thursday Night when I was caught in a simple Tornado... Praise! I just so happened to say sorry that day. Jesus works for those that seek him. He didn't work for those just 8 miles away from me on the North and South side..

Do these Asians even exist on the map of Jesus salvation plan?



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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 07:34 AM

Praise Jesus! The slants killed by Jesus in that Godless cesspool now top 16,000! GLORY!

I only hope these numbers aren't adversely effecting Brother Monty's sweatshop factory production.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 11:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
GLORY!!!!

Just like Katrina! GOD is merely flushing his righteous cosmic toilet of "human waste".


Enjoy HELL sinners!!!!
The bible clearly states that love is the most important thing, not hate. Jesus said that we should love everyone, not hate them. So no one is human waste. At least not in a christian view.
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 11:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
In American, there is a difference between proof and Faith.

Proof, is rarely absolute proof. If you think about it, there is very little in the world that can be absolutely proven. Faith is what remains.

There is no proof for example that magnetism exists - we can see its effects but, because we do not know the final cause, we cannot be sure of it - but you have faith that magnetism is a fact.

Now, you ask for proof of God - this is ridiculous. God asks to observe His Word and have faith. He provides you with a manual - The Bible and lets you find out for yourself. If you cannot be sure, then, like magnetism, you have to have faith to make 100%.

I have seen people like you before, we provide many instances that point to the existence of God, and each time, you just say, "No!"

What I say to them is, "What would be proof for you?"

They then refuse to answer, which means that they would never, under any circumstances believe in God - they would deny God to the end. They waste our time.

Now, I will give you the same question, "What would be proof for you?"

You are absolutely right, proof and faith are to different things. Faith is belief, proof is more or less absolute. The problem is that God is concealed for most people. The fact that there are millins of religions claiming to be absolutely right, just like cgristianity does, makes religious belief difficult for the intellectual individuals. All religions say that they are absolutely right, all religions claim that they know they are right and that their God exists. They have very little or no scientific proof of this, and it is this that makes religion more of a belief than a scientific conception. We can, as you say, study the effects of magnetism, but most cannot "see" or study God. We see the effects of magnetism and it is sientfically explaniable (thanks to Niels Bohr's atom model). God is however not explainable to the same extent. The only "proof" we have is the bible, and it is to the ordinary man but a piece of embellished paper. So we have to accept that everyone is not religious, we have to tolerate them because if we do not tolerate them, then there would be little difference from us and the fanatic moslems.
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Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 11:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Flint View Post
Praise Jesus! The slants killed by Jesus in that Godless cesspool now top 16,000! GLORY!

I only hope these numbers aren't adversely effecting Brother Monty's sweatshop factory production.
Do you call yourself a Christian? A follower of Jesus? Jesus said that we should love each other, not hate each other.
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,871
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: When God attacks! - 05-06-2008, 11:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by filantrop View Post
The bible clearly states that love is the most important thing, not hate. Jesus said that we should love everyone, not hate them. So no one is human waste. At least not in a christian view.
You've never actually read the Bible, have you?

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division.--Luke 12:51

But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.--Luke 19:27

"I [Jesus] will kill her children with death." Revelations 2:23


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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