Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-20-2013, 10:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
I thought I could count on her for friendly help, as well. I mean, we go to the same church after all, we worship the same LORD. You'd think she could be civil, but apparently some people get very testy when you ask about something as innocent as a recipe.
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Say no more...I happen to know exactly who you're talking about, and she acts that way about everything. It's so sad.
I really pity her. I mean, when we're Right with The Lord™, we're happy. When we're not, everything's off. Clearly, she has problems with her belief, etc., because she's always so g-damn MOODY.
But about her cooking: I know for a fact her maid, our dear Vavoline Johnson, does all her cooking for her. So just ask her. I never thought I'd say a colored woman was easier to deal with than a True Christian™, but in this case as God™s my witness it's the truth.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-20-2013, 10:55 PM
You hens haven't sorted this out yet? The very last thing I want to see is any bickering among the womenfolk.
I'm available for private one-on-one counseling to get to the meat of the matter.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-20-2013, 11:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Say no more...I happen to know exactly who you're talking about, and she acts that way about everything. It's so sad.
I really pity her. I mean, when we're Right with The Lord™, we're happy. When we're not, everything's off. Clearly, she has problems with her belief, etc., because she's always so g-damn MOODY.
But about her cooking: I know for a fact her maid, our dear Vavoline Johnson, does all her cooking for her. So just ask her. I never thought I'd say a colored woman was easier to deal with than a True Christian™, but in this case as God™s my witness it's the truth.
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Mistress Cookie, you know how much I hate to gossip, but what you're saying makes total sense. I knew there was something going on that she wasn't sharing. But why lie? Why would a person do that to a friend? Or at least, someone she said was a friend? I don't understand it.
Unless...
Do you think she's having marital problems?
Sister, let us keep her in our prayers.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-20-2013, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Do you think she's having marital problems?
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I'm putting on some coffee now.
Come over and I'll tell you the whole story we can reconstruct that recipe.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-20-2013, 11:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
I'm putting on some coffee now.
Come over and I'll tell you the whole story we can reconstruct that recipe.
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Sister, you are a true friend.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-20-2013, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter
You hens haven't sorted this out yet? The very last thing I want to see is any bickering among the womenfolk.
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Brother Porter, thank you for your concern, as always, but I really must point out that at the heart of this matter is a cooking question. All we are trying to do is get the best, most nutritious foodstuffs in front of our loved ones and The Community as possible.
Now you just toddle off to your fish lures and things, and we'll "man" the kitchen, okay?
EDIT: Mary, where were we?
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: What Would Jesus Do? (a vent) -
01-21-2013, 01:16 AM
No woman just 'throws something together'.
My wife, Mrs. Hutchins would have a bottom redder than a ripe apple if she did that. Could you imagine the amount of dismay she would experience if I liked a meal, then requested it to be served again and the dish was not exactly the same?
1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
Matthew 5:37
But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
Revelation 3:15-16
15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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