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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-26-2008, 05:48 AM

Well, my cousin is now in college in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Could you give me directions from Cedar Rapids to Freehold so that I can text/call him to tell him about this church, its city, and how to get there? He's read a lot of bad things about this church on the Internet, and I wanna show him that, well, LBC's not that bad, and that Freehold is basically an average Midwestern city, except with a high proportion of conservative Christians.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-26-2008, 06:16 AM

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Originally Posted by earwig View Post
Well, my cousin is now in college in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Could you give me directions from Cedar Rapids to Freehold so that I can text/call him to tell him about this church, its city, and how to get there? He's read a lot of bad things about this church on the Internet, and I wanna show him that, well, LBC's not that bad, and that Freehold is basically an average Midwestern city, except with a high proportion of conservative Christians.
How dare you call Freehold "average"? It is as close to Heaven as you could get to see in this Earth, before the LORD Jesus Christ comes back to erase all nigras and other sicknesses from the planet. There is not a "high proportion" of conservative Christians there, it's all inhabited by True Christians, who dedicate their time to praise Him and honor Him in everyway that money can buy, Hallelujah! I'm pretty sure your little "friend" couldn't go past security, they don't allow queers in Freehold.


Job 40:15-18 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 10-26-2008, 11:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by earwig View Post
Well, my cousin is now in college in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Could you give me directions from Cedar Rapids to Freehold so that I can text/call him to tell him about this church, its city, and how to get there? He's read a lot of bad things about this church on the Internet, and I wanna show him that, well, LBC's not that bad, and that Freehold is basically an average Midwestern city, except with a high proportion of conservative Christians.
No.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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NCOH NCOH is offline
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:05 PM

Reason they couldn't give you directions is because it is unincorporated. They keep it off the maps because they don't want hordes of people coming there to persecute them.
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NCOH NCOH is offline
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:09 PM

Wish I could get saved, sounds like a lot I am missing out on.
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:11 PM

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Originally Posted by NCOH View Post
Wish I could get saved, sounds like a lot I am missing out on.
The good news is it is not too late to be saved and become a True Christian!

JESUS wants you to come to Him, and He is just waiting to fill you up to the brim with His warm, sweet love!



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:13 PM

Read the FAQ: Should I move to Freehold Iowa?
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NCOH NCOH is offline
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:15 PM

Omg this is so great!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! I want in so bad
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NCOH View Post
Omg this is so great!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! I want in so bad
If you want to be in with the True Christians, you need to listen.

JESUS is peculiar about who is entitled to His unconditional love, and many end up going to hell because they can't make the cut.

Obviously, the Holy Spirit is working on you, and I sense a conversion coming soon.



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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NCOH NCOH is offline
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:18 PM

hehe oh yeah, he has shown me the error of my ways! He's even shown me where Freehold is! Glory be to God!!!
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NCOH View Post
Omg this is so great!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! I want in so bad
Narrow is the gate, NCOH. You'll need to complete a Landover Baptist Church membership application, available from our pastoral offices. Please attach high school and Bible college transcripts, tax returns for the last 15 years, audited financial statements for the last 15 years, a letter of recommendation from your private wealth management financial advisor or private banker, and notarized copies of your current paystub, bank and brokerage account statements, and tithing record from your current church. If you'd like, you can also submit a brief (no more than 100 words!) statement regarding why you would like to join the Landover Baptist Church.

The wait list is nearly four years at the moment, so it may take a while for the church to get back to you.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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GloryBeToGod GloryBeToGod is offline
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Default Re: What is Freehold, Iowa like? thred - 12-08-2009, 06:56 PM

Oh Glory be to God that this once satanic jackass has been turned into a noble steed by the Light of God! Oh Praise Jesus!!
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