[Roland]

Originally Posted by Alex112

[...]
And yeah I haven't been on for months

Hi Alex,


Nice to see you again. How is life?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Now there are wealthy ones..

And a powerful response in reply, Mayor. I spent some time in the Library looking for inspiration similar to that which visited those writing the ordinances over the centuries so as to reflect the Word Of God. My work was not unrewarded: Ordinance #941 1802:

"Notwithstanding that he may be of a confused mind insomuch as that he has within the past twelvemonth sought spiritual guidance of an organisation or group or sect or other informal social gathering of persons purporting to offer the said guidance, a man of sound mind and otherwise of good character and healthy habits may be escorted into the church at Landover by a member of the congregation in good standing save that the visitor be free of idolatrous insignia."

For widows, I would apply the same criteria in line with 1:Tim:5.

[MitzaLizalor]

Perhaps I was hasty in deciding not to invite my papist, who frequently refers to "saints" (as though Christians were not sanctified already)

II Esdras 2:18 For thy help will I send my servants Esau and Jeremy, after whose counsel I have sanctified and prepared for thee twelve trees laden with divers fruits

but they seem to require contacting by séance or Romish equivalent so I have a question before I rush off with my invitation. What constitutes idolatrous insignia and a visitor being free of idolatrous insignia? Does it have to be an actual object, such as a crucifix, or could it be something like a branding iron's imprint on the mind, soul or heart?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Certainly, no Catholic jewelry. I don't think tattoos should be visible but I'll defer to others on that.

One thing for sure, women need to be dressed to the nines. And, Pastor Zeke enjoys seeing great hair doos so prepare accordingly. He doesn't want women wearing scarves or those ugly lace things Catholic plop on their heads.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Certainly, no Catholic jewelry. I don't think tattoos should be visible but I'll defer to others on that.

One thing for sure, women need to be dressed to the nines. And, Pastor Zeke enjoys seeing great hair doos so prepare accordingly. He doesn't want women wearing scarves or those ugly lace things Catholic plop on their heads.

Amen, dear Brother Mayor Hold! How I quite agree: no Catholic jewelry. And, no fancy Catholic costumes (unless they are friends of persons in very high and mighty places!)

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Certainly, no Catholic jewelry. I don't think tattoos should be visible but I'll defer to others on that.

One thing for sure, women need to be dressed to the nines. And, Pastor Zeke enjoys seeing great hair doos so prepare accordingly. He doesn't want women wearing scarves or those ugly lace things Catholic plop on their heads.

Stop it! I had no idea what you referred to so did a quick search: could anything be more ridiculous? ..well, that costume Isabella White posted

Originally Posted by Isabella White

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ox-Easter.html

..how far gone would you have to be to walk around with that on your head? And they think they're doing something important! But I was taught never to enter a catholic building and worked out early on that catholicism so-called is really just Italian Orthodox. In the competition to see who can spend other people's money on the most absurd baubles, ludicrous clown hats and revolting fancy-dress regalia —— let's face it, if you made some up and tried to sell it to a joke shop they'd laugh in your face (then watch you bounce) —— when I saw the lace hankies pinned onto the heads, it was just too much!

Anyway, I was thinking of inviting someone who normally wears a darker shade than the pumpkin-headed freak show, who may not have any other clothes in fact. Would it be appropriate for me to get the person a nice suit? Or a casual sports jacket, maybe with a suitable tie?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

I was thinking of inviting someone who normally wears a darker shade than the pumpkin-headed freak show

I hope that is not a vulgar reference to our greatest President...

Would it be appropriate for me to get the person a nice suit? Or a casual sports jacket, maybe with a suitable tie?

That is a hunting tie, by the looks of it - you can tell from the thermal foil lining that traps body heat during long nights in the hide, and the antlers. Certainly a tie is a manly gift when paired with animal parts.

[MitzaLizalor]

Thank you for your reply. I'm not interested in "politics" (often a misrepresentation of "party politics") but see from your location that Macron has done well? admittedly against an opposition generally on the nose but clawing itself up the greasy pole to an unprecedented extent so a chipmunk would have done as well, if not better. That's not what you asked me though. Quickly looking at ties it transpired that a tie hanging on a rack is one price. In a plastic box, more or less add a 0 onto the price. Draped over antlers = an 8 in front (or both) i.e. start blanching and hand over the plastic.

Italian Orthodox as a denomination reckons itself "catholic" despite its oligarch being one among many oligarchs and declaring itself supreme, and reckons its capo to be a pontiff where there used to be many pontiffs, so whether or not to invite any of them amounts to the same thing: a personal assessment. I hope you didn't think I was offering antlers as an inducement?

Whether crafted from gold wire or done in muted shades of black, many of these poor deluded worms dress as instructed and would look so out of place in any Christian assembly. Wool as a fabric I like and the tie is a Scottish suggestion, hopefully less poisonous than whatever John Knox cooked up. Which turned into a quasiestablishmentarian charade, so sad.

So sad.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

I would definitely gladly come to Freehold, so we could have a discussion on which version of Jesus is better, as long you also invite the Orthodox worshippers of the flat one, the door-knockers with the He-Man one and the LSD cult who believes in the laughing one.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati

I would definitely gladly come to Freehold, so we could have a discussion on which version of Jesus is better, as long you also invite the Orthodox worshippers of the flat one, the door-knockers with the He-Man one and the LSD cult who believes in the laughing one.

Interesting word you use there, "discussion." There is no discussion at Landover Baptist. There is preachin' and lots of it.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Would there be special requirements for Jesuits?

There usually are. That's how one becomes a Jesuit.

It's not as if you qualify by merely sending lipstick kissed cheques to grifters like "Pastor Al" or "Pastor Zeke" alongside some revealing beach photos.

I hope this doesn't seem inappropriate – I don't know anything about Jesuits

A stunning revelation for sure.




Bless you, my near-future Herman Cain Award winner,
Father Mo






.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester

There usually are. That's how one becomes a Jesuit.
It's not as if you qualify by merely sending lipstick kissed cheques to grifters like "Pastor Al" or "Pastor Zeke" alongside some revealing beach photos.
A stunning revelation for sure.
Bless you, my near-future Herman Cain Award winner,
Father Mo

.

This fellow, Farther Maurice, slips by the fire walls occasionally and posts here. Are our admins asleep?

Security at Landover Baptist church services need to be on the watch for him.

[MitzaLizalor]

@Various

Pope Frank's a Jesuit (I looked that up) but on the other hand any idea of dropping dead in the "near-future" seems strangely unappealing. To me, that is. I don't know about Frank.

The beach is also unappealing and not somewhere I'd go but mormons and 7th-day-adventists and theosophists would benefit from a knowledge of Christ – who knows? one day there may even be a Canadian Orthodox denomination! From my experience of that place, such an invention would be fine display – but nothing to do with Jesus. The Truth does not admit of denominations, after all If a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Mark 3:25

Were you thinking of coming along? It would be better if you were not on LSD.

[its_faith]

Their leaders are Satan!

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by its_faith

Their leaders are Satan!

I wonder if a pope could ever actually become a Christian? By that I mean someone who follows the teachings of Christ. Vatican dogma ladles on so much extra stuff but even "tradition" could be OK if it didn't contradict The Gospel. The problem is that it does. I don't know if the levels of hubris required for elevation to pope status constitute capital blasphemy or not, others though have been Saved from pretty awful circumstances brought on by false beliefs. Whether a pope or a cardinal or one of the other ranks they've invented is eligible for Salvation or not—depending on the nature of blasphemies they've committed—nobody can accept Christ until they've heard about Him.

Romans 10:14 How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

[Uncle Rutherford]

Brother Hold, in light of the continuing abuse on the young altar boys, would it be shameful of me if I were to go pick some up and foster them at my home? I think I could really get deep inside them and make them obedient Baptist ™️ Boys. They are probably easier to get inside than the unfortunate lost nigra children that roam the heathenistic cities of New York and (ugh….) Chicago.

[handmaiden]

Listen, there is really only one reason at all for True Christians™ such as ourselves to be yoked with Catholics.

That is to outlaw abortion. Happily, we have that issue nearly sewn up. Once that matter is settled for good (and for God), we need to do some very careful maneuvering. Gaining the upper hand for Truth and putting the power back into Jesus' hands, (NOT the Pope's) means that we have to ease out of our alliance with Catholics.


It may have served us well enough at the time, but we CANNOT allow them equal rights or countless fools will be led straight to Hell through their false doctrine. It's very similar to the way we talk the talk about "Judeo-Christian" values and favor government support for Israel.


It's all about putting the real message of the Bible into action in this world. Catholics pervert the Bible; Jews ignore the most important parts. We know perfectly well that we will not be hobnobbing in Heaven with these non-saved people. Therefore, while we can use these groups to gain power, we certainly will not share it once we've completely secured America for Jesus.


So, the short answer to the question is No, we should not invite Catholics to Landover Baptist. We should meet on neutral ground, ask for whatever phone numbers and donor lists that they can share and ferret out any information that we can use to thoroughly discredit them when the time comes.


An even shorter answer to this question can be found by asking, have you ever seen Highlander? In the end, there can only be one.

[Regens Kuechl]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

Perhaps I was hasty in deciding not to invite my papist, who frequently refers to "saints" (as though Christians were not sanctified already)

II Esdras 2:18 For thy help will I send my servants Esau and Jeremy, after whose counsel I have sanctified and prepared for thee twelve trees laden with divers fruits

but they seem to require contacting by séance or Romish equivalent so I have a question before I rush off with my invitation. What constitutes idolatrous insignia and a visitor being free of idolatrous insignia? Does it have to be an actual object, such as a crucifix, or could it be something like a branding iron's imprint on the mind, soul or heart?

You should not only invite, but listen to Catholics!If you listen well enough, you might remain this side of hells gates😉

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl

You should not only invite, but listen to Catholics!If you listen well enough, you might remain this side of hells gates😉

There is a case to be made for inviting Catholics to Landover Baptist. As anyone can read here, many of our True Christian™ member are opposed to it. I respect their views as well along with others.

But your statement, "..but listen to Catholics" is flat out dangerous. No, listening to Catholics puts us IN hell.

[Mary Etheldreda]

My biggest problem with Catholics is that they are always drunk. They are drunk so often they require a "nip" during their own church services just to keep from getting seizures. They are inebriated so often they simply don't care what sex their bed-partner is (or indeed if it is even in a bed, in the kitchen, in the rectory, or over a truck-stop sink). One side effect of such aggressive drunkenness is the constant invitation of demons, both the homer and normal kind. The last thing we'd want hovering over Freehold is some migrating infestation of wino-demons following the wino-Catholics.