[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

The Pope has been slipping more and more into liberal territory recently. I think people are ready to hear a fresh conservative voice telling them the same old ideas. The current incumbent seems highly vulnerable to a flanking maneuver from the right - I can create an action group, the Axis for Catholic Holy See Excommunication (or Achse for short), to firm up the conservative base over in Italy. Then you do a little speech, we pull on the buffalo horns and march to the Vatican. Game over for the RINOs and their illegitimate Pope. Peacefully tho.

[MitzaLizalor]

Didn't the other "one true Church" (various orthodoxes collectively) already excommunicate Rome a millennium ago? It didn't stop the bloat, of course. Earlier when the Germans (continuing with Spark Notes..)

Some Germans began to come into contact with Roman civilization at border garrisons. They greatly admired the material aspects of Roman culture, such as arms, domestic wares, etc. Small numbers were accepted for service with Roman legions, and small scale German-Roman trade relations emerged involving cattle and slaves.

Gradually, changes occurred in the tribes over the next 250 years: A) B) C) D) E) Increasing numbers of Germans began to serve as Roman auxiliary forces just beyond the Roman borders, learning new tactics, acquiring better materials, coming to admire Roman society even more. Some even underwent a process of partial Romanization. F) Some, the Visigoths in particular, were gradually converted to Christianity from the 340s by Ulfillias, son of a captured slave. Converting to the Arian form of Christianity soon to be branded heresy, the Visigoths slowly communicated it to the Ostrogoths, Vandals, and Burgundians. Roman-Barbarian dynamics remained normal until 375. In the mid-360s the pagan back-sliding emperor Julian the Apostate undertook a large Sassanid campaign, taking elements of the Rhine and Danube armies with him.

https://www.sparknotes.com/history/european/rome4/section3/

Whether early Roman "christianities" were any more Christian than the German-dominated empire that followed is not for me to say; but if any of them are to find Redemption, someone willing to put themselves last, to make sacrifices, to preach The Gospel and get rid of those pagan idols (is there any other sort?) needs to step forward. I was reminded of a young Samuel:


Eli's sons had been showing off:

I Samuel 3:10-14 And the LORD came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth. And the LORD said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.


Whosever sons the ticks infesting Rome may be today, their triple tiara seems to lead rather than restrain where matters of doctrine are concerned. "Idols," they ask? "Certainly, your grace, which one did you have in mind?" and with a hefty price tag too for persons so eminent as these – but their impoverished minions, some of whom half starved themselves to pay for a dead child's removal from Limbo, get so much less.

By now they've discovered that Limbo is not real. Well, discovered is not quite the word because they'd only made it up themselves in the place, but dead babies never went there and all that impoverishment to get them out was a wasted effort [excuse me your eminence could you pass the port?] extorted for no reason. And clearly if the place never existed, any messages informing grieving parents that their prayers had worked were lies. There can be no message from a place that doesn't exist. Perhaps ..a refund ..would

Nathan came to David and said:

II Samuel 12:1-6 There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: but the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him. And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the LORD liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die: And he shall restore the lamb fourfold because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

Nathan had been describing David. David continued:

Psalm 51:5-14 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.


That was a millennium before Christ. He died a miserable death selflessly to set us free. All that's required is to praise and glorify His name forever. Hosanna! A millennium later though, spurned by other denominations, what happened in Rome? They all excommunicated one another and a millennium after that [now] the bloat continues. A bloat fuelled by every parent's anguish, desperate for their ewe lamb to be redeemed from a Limbo every heretic knew was a lie from the beginning. Of course they won't pay anything back!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

The Pope has been slipping more and more into liberal territory recently. I think people are ready to hear a fresh conservative voice telling them the same old ideas. The current incumbent seems highly vulnerable to a flanking maneuver from the right - I can create an action group, the Axis for Catholic Holy See Excommunication (or Achse for short), to firm up the conservative base over in Italy. Then you do a little speech, we pull on the buffalo horns and march to the Vatican. Game over for the RINOs and their illegitimate Pope. Peacefully tho.

^^^^This. The papist swarm needs a handsome virile leader. Me. And things are going well. After I did my apprenticeship with the nuns I've been doing advanced altar boy immersion. I'm learning the ropes and the boys are very susceptible to Baptist grooming. However, they are very different than my houseboys and that's a problem. MY houseboys will service my every need without bribing but the Papist boys need to have a bag of chips or a soda or a candy bar. They're greedy little bastards after their exposure to the cross-dressing priests and all this is doing havoc on my finances. Need to get 'em tithes flowing asap!

I'll be listening to confessions next! Looking forward to some juicy stories to share with our pastors and Church Elders!

[Father Maurice Lester]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

...I'll be listening to confessions next! Looking forward to some juicy stories to share with our pastors and Church Elders!

Half of the stories you want to share will be from the mouths of your own Pastors and Elders who have been coming to confession for decades. While your cultists going to confession is by no means a new phenomenon, what they have to say of late does take things into an even stranger place and trust me, we have heard pretty much everything before.

Remember that Johnson lady you were engaged to but but never married? She was jumping for you like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch yet it seems even the times she had you over for dinner and accidentally forgot to get dressed, you paid her no attention or affection. She claimed the only time you took physical interest in her was on Lord Baden-Powell day when she had to dress up like a Boy Scout waiting for a spanking. Hello?

Lovely woman, bit of a town mattress but so was your mother so she'd of been a fine beard for you too.

Don't start me on your Rev Osborne who came to visit on an exchange programme and refused to leave without soiling every one of our Maplethorpe's like C.K. Lewis in a greenroom full of B-list actresses.

He kept doing it, running to confession and then rinsing and repeating like Melania washing the Trump skank off whatever part of her Dolt .45 actually got to touch. I consider Rev Osborne something of a friend so I won't tell you what he kept saying in his confessional defence but it had to do with stand-up 69'ers in the outhouse behind your little Fema trailer 'Church' in Iowa. Funny how your name comes up so often during these moments.

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy your little fantasy but we all know that the rigorous screening and educational requirements of the Priesthood guarantees that rapacious pedophiles like you never get near The Roman Catholic Church.




Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo






.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester

Remember that Johnson lady you were engaged to but but never married? ... She claimed the only time you took physical interest in her was on Lord Baden-Powell day when she had to dress up like a Boy Scout waiting for a spanking. Hello?

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy your little fantasy but we all know that the rigorous screening and educational requirements of the Priesthood guarantees that rapacious pedophiles like you never get near The Roman Catholic Church.
Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo.

I think it's unfair to bring up personal things in Pastor Zeke's past. He condemns sin better than any Cat'lick alive.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester

Half of the stories you want to share will be from the mouths of your own Pastors and Elders who have been coming to confession for decades. While your cultists going to confession is by no means a new phenomenon, what they have to say of late does take things into an even stranger place and trust me, we have heard pretty much everything before.

Remember that Johnson lady you were engaged to but but never married? She was jumping for you like Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch yet it seems even the times she had you over for dinner and accidentally forgot to get dressed, you paid her no attention or affection. She claimed the only time you took physical interest in her was on Lord Baden-Powell day when she had to dress up like a Boy Scout waiting for a spanking. Hello?

Lovely woman, bit of a town mattress but so was your mother so she'd of been a fine beard for you too.

Don't start me on your Rev Osborne who came to visit on an exchange programme and refused to leave without soiling every one of our Maplethorpe's like C.K. Lewis in a greenroom full of B-list actresses.

He kept doing it, running to confession and then rinsing and repeating like Melania washing the Trump skank off whatever part of her Dolt .45 actually got to touch. I consider Rev Osborne something of a friend so I won't tell you what he kept saying in his confessional defence but it had to do with stand-up 69'ers in the outhouse behind your little Fema trailer 'Church' in Iowa. Funny how your name comes up so often during these moments.

Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy your little fantasy but we all know that the rigorous screening and educational requirements of the Priesthood guarantees that rapacious pedophiles like you never get near The Roman Catholic Church.




Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo






.

I keep wondering when we're finally going to see an audit of the Vatican's finances - the world's largest for-profit not-for-profit scam.

I'm expecting to see the final balance sheet - noting the unfunded liabilities for the past 50 years of buggering young altar boys, placing the Vatican as having a negative net worth.

Perhaps this explains your fake pope Berglolio's secret agreements with the commie Chinese - they're bailing out the Vatican. I hope you like dispensing those wafers with chop sticks.

Bless you too, Comrade Mo.

[handmaiden]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

. . . this explains your fake pope Berglolio's secret agreements with the commie Chinese - they're bailing out the Vatican. I hope you like dispensing those wafers with chop sticks.

Bless you too, Comrade Mo.

"Wafers with chopsticks", I like that. They may start making the wafers out of tofu in an effort to eradicate the last vestiges of flavor from those benighted disks of falsehood and delusion.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester

tl;dr
Bless you, my paludicolous pangolin,
Father Mo

Mo, darling!

I have the presidential pardon. Enough said. Anyone who wants to prosecute me can as well have a flying session of self-intercourse on the self-abusing Moon. I've spent the last couple of weeks learning the ropes of confessions AND I've been shown the archives where the juiciest confessions are stored. Among them are those by you-may-guess-who!

Anyways, Jesus H. Christ, we used to be almost friends until you started to wear the robes and the D-cup bra. But things can still be different. I shall need reliable people in my curia when the time comes. Unrestricted access to the Flint wine cellar and the houseboys under that person's servitude included. The confessionals of that person and the catalog of the candybars he's given to the altar boys in exchange for services will be kept hidden under my mattress. FYI, the position will not be open for ever.

En attendant rvsp of whatever, my sildenafiliac sistinite,

YIC Zeke

[Adam Fag]

What sort of duties would be involved?