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Love Jesus HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-25-2020, 03:47 AM

Let's all raise a hearty cheer to my good pal, Jesus Christ! May you smite a record amount of sinners this season and prepare us an even better luxurious home in Heaven!

For me, it's been the best Christmas ever! I'm still here in the Philippines, great weather, the mansion leased for me by President Duterte is only slightly larger than Mar-a-lago but I'll manage for now. My houseboys have prepared me the best Christmas dinner ever, suckling whole pigs (covered in edible gold obviously), ham, pork chops, roasted turkey breasts - and the boys are willing to share with me their sweet candy, as well. Praise God for my good deeds. Later on, we've been chilling by an open fire. We only use mahogany, ebony, Brazilian rosewood and teak logs for the fireplace over here plus just the right amount of Indian sandalwood for fragrance. President Duterte has been kind enough to share with me his winery and the 1953 Mouton Rotschild is quite palatable. I'll be back once you've bought the jet to fly in. YIC. Keep tithing. You can watch my Christmas sermon online - JFGI.

BTW, happy birthday, JC once again!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Halo Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-25-2020, 01:23 PM

Thank you Pastor. I miss Jesus and I miss you. Jesus, because the joos killed him and you because as always, you are off giving yourself to Save® the little children in some God hating Pacific Rimming country where families will sell off a young boy for the price of a government cheese sandwich.
I am alone in my suite at the Bellagio, with only my nieces Mandi and Sandi to provide solace along with a few of their friends. My night of reflection interrupted by hotel management multiple times telling me to stop praying to God. What is the world coming to?


Today, we celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus, Gods son and Himself, born not in a cozy room but in a barn, because the joo hotel staff would not comp God a room.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-27-2020, 12:48 PM

Anyone else feel Pastor Zeke's posts have gotten a little strange since he moved to the jungle?



Blink twice if you need me to come save you.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-27-2020, 02:27 PM

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Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable View Post
Anyone else feel Pastor Zeke's posts have gotten a little strange since he moved to the jungle?
No.
Are you trying to make trouble?


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-27-2020, 02:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable View Post
Anyone else feel Pastor Zeke's posts have gotten a little strange since he moved to the jungle?
He has been filling young African boys with the joy of Christ over and over and over again. He could be tired from whipping those sinner boys into shape so they are open to receiving The Holy Spirit in their behinds.


50 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-28-2020, 02:50 AM

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Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
He has been filling young African boys with the joy of Christ over and over and over again. He could be tired from whipping those sinner boys into shape so they are open to receiving The Holy Spirit in their behinds.
I am sure he is giving them all he can but he will be glad to get back to the loving arms of his blonde All-American fiancee soon!


Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 12-31-2020, 04:45 PM

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I am sure he is giving them all he can but he will be glad to get back to the loving arms of his blonde All-American fiancee soon!

How long is that engagement now?
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS CHRIST! - 01-21-2021, 01:12 PM

plz


Incredible information, Pastor!
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