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Reload this Page 2018 Witch Hunt
HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday.

 
 
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Guns 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-24-2018, 01:27 PM

That time of year friends, when everyone gets to see how many Witches they can bag. Six to sixty (actually no age limilt) can play. Entire carcassess must be presented and properly tagged for credit.

No covering with a sheet and having the left toe tagged and then exposing the right toe and trying to get a second tag. Not pointing any finger, Brother Haggard, but you get the message.

We reserve the right to ensure the Witch is actually dead and not just drunk. Mrs. Johnson was quite upset last year during the verification process she came to during the dunking.


Contact Miss Cookie at the Church office for your permit and log book.



Locked and loaded! I am so proud of my boys!
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-24-2018, 08:43 PM

Sign me up! I've been (w)itching for this all year.


Some days... I walk past my fellow brethren; men of Christ washed in Christ's blood. And I thank Lord Jesus Christ, my sinful days are long, LONG since behind me. I thank you Jesus for allowing me to accept you as my Savior, and leading me in the path of righteousness.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-24-2018, 09:05 PM

Brother Hutchins, your boys are so cute! The one on the left (sorry, it's unforgivable of me, but I forget his name) looks so very much like ALL my own boys at that age that you could almost mistake them for brothers.

Do we have a firm date for this year's hunt? My husband needs to be able to clear his diary, if possible.

I will contact the office, always assuming Cookie is answering the phone. I haven't succeeded in getting through to her for several years now. Does she have international calls blocked?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-24-2018, 10:46 PM

Someone borrowed my 30mm GAU-8 Avenger autocannon but I can for the life of me not remember who.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Guns Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-25-2018, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Brother Hutchins, your boys are so cute! The one on the left (sorry, it's unforgivable of me, but I forget his name) looks so very much like ALL my own boys at that age that you could almost mistake them for brothers.

Do we have a firm date for this year's hunt? My husband needs to be able to clear his diary, if possible.

I will contact the office, always assuming Cookie is answering the phone. I haven't succeeded in getting through to her for several years now. Does she have international calls blocked?
Your log book has to be signed off no later than noon, 11/1/2018. Standard rules apply to verification. Reasonable mistakes will not be counted and they will not affect in a negative manner your final tally. No witches eliminated prior to 10/24/2018 will counted. Any withecs much have irrefutable proof of being around on 10/23/2018. Selfies, and pen/pencil drawings of them stirring cauldrons, Flying on broomsticks, casting spells or doing anything unChristian are required.
Miss Cookie no longer personally answers the phone due to a stalker. Apparently she has taken to staying in the Janitors closet in the Church and only comes out at night. REst assured, her business is being attended too Pastor Ezekiel has personally assured me of the Churches perpetual care.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Someone borrowed my 30mm GAU-8 Avenger autocannon but I can for the life of me not remember who.
I'll look around and see if it is in my truck, there is a bunch of iron back in the sleeper. I do recall loving holding it. If I find it, I'll let you know.


Note: People, we must have entire bodies and they must be identifiable as such. No 55 gallon drums full of visceral ground up.
This is a perfect example of we want to see for your KJV Log Book:
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Guns Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-25-2018, 06:11 PM

Attention: All Ammo and gunsmithing done by Bobby-Joes Armory® on the corner of Esclattes and Deuteronomy Avenues will get a 10% discount with proof of paid to date Tithes and a valid Witch Hunting license for THIS year for all munitions and weapon tuning now through 10/25. This includes night vision scopes, re-barrelling, bump-stocks and Bobby-Joe's hand polished "No jam"100 round Mini AR15 barrel magazines.
As in the past, you can also buy Blue Ribbon ammo certified as God Friendly™ by a Church Pastor. I particularly like the 'Nevr-Mis' 12 ga rounds. They make a mess but the tykes love to scrounge up the splattered bits. Do not forget tracer rounds. Give the Devil his due!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2018, 02:25 PM

It's come to my attention some of you are forging fake Witch Hunting Permits. Don't jew Jesus!! This years proceeds directly supports the 2019 Seal Clubbing Expedition in Labrador, Canada.

I found this obvious forgery and quite honestly, you all can do better than this:



Also, just because you have a valid licence, nowhere on that license does it permit you to rape a witch prior, or after, the kill. Hex removal and genital boils are not covered by your Landover Medical Insurance. NO RAPING!!
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2018, 05:55 PM

I'll win this year, as I always do. You may think that I'm the underdog this year here in DC. But lemme tell you that some of the White House female staff are quite nasty hags and conjurers. For every witch that I catch and that exceeds your quota, I'm expecting a decent increase in tithes.

Donald sends his love.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2018, 06:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'll win this year, as I always do. You may think that I'm the underdog this year here in DC.
Oh Pastor, far from it - in fact, you'll be spoiled for choice!

Quote:
Donald sends his love.
Such a thoughtful gentleman, as ever! Please send him love and all our support from the (perilously few) True Christian™ folks here in England.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-27-2018, 02:55 AM

Mostly I do not want children in Freehold exposed to Halloween. But, this year, just for fun, I'm thinking of a Halloween contest.

Each child would be given a Hillary mask. It would be the child's task to come up with a unique witch's outfit to match the Hillary look.

I think it is never too early to start teaching children about history and who God likes and dislikes.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-27-2018, 02:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Mostly I do not want children in Freehold exposed to Halloween. But, this year, just for fun, I'm thinking of a Halloween contest.

Each child would be given a Hillary mask. It would be the child's task to come up with a unique witch's outfit to match the Hillary look.

I think it is never too early to start teaching children about history and who God likes and dislikes.

I hope no one mistakes the children for a midget witch. Perhaps the kids could wear a button that says "Don't shoot me, I'm not a witch." But then the real witches might latch onto those buttons in order to go about freely, so there's that. Here in New York City, parents don't care if their little hooligans run about in devilish costumes - it's encouraged. In the parade, even the pets are dressed up in evil garb. Preteen and teenaged girls wear the most whorish of outfits. I will, of course, be attending the parties at the homer establishments in order to turn this into a day for Christ.


I can't decide whether to go as Billy Graham or Paul Crouch. Ooooh! Is there an Ezekiel Flint costume available?


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 09-27-2018, 09:02 PM

Oh geez, what are the rules exactly? Does it have to be firearm kill only? I have terrible aim. Would it be considered cheating to sprinkle insecticide on their altar/feasting grounds?


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Cake Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-02-2018, 01:45 PM

Attention: As a prelude to this years festivities, we are holding a practice this Saturday night down at the dump. You need to sign up and get a 'Witch Pass' available free with any pallet purchase of 7.62 or larger ammo fropm Bobby-Joes Armory or for a donaton over $100 to the Landover Chrystal Cathedreal fund for the 'Gold leafing the Pastors desk fund'.
As in the past, we will let loose a hundred nigas five minutes before sundown. The kids (please, no one over the age of 30) will use paint ball guns to hunt down the day-shines. Shooting will continue until either the jigaboo quits or is no longer able to move in a discernible fashion. Silver medallions inscribed with the 'kill count' on one side and Pastor Ezekiels likeness on the other side will be handed out at the end.


Attention Blackies: All those that participate will get a free watermelon . Any nigra able to remain active in the game at the end (11:69 PM) will get a coupon for a bucket of KFC from the down town DesMoines KFC at 1/2 price.


A reminder: Paint balls only, no 3/4" steel ball bearings wll be allowed. They present too much of a hazard when people are walking.


Let's make this a night to remember and most importantly, it is for a good cause.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Bible Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-05-2018, 12:08 PM

Bobby-Joe has sold out of the blessed .50 cal belt feed ammo already. A reminder to those that stocked up on 'big lead'. All count is based on more than 60% of the witch being accounted for. You cannot produce a body from the waist up and a 'second one' from the waist down and have it counted as two kills. M18 Claymores, while fun, are a lot of work to aggregate all the bits, so keep that in mind.
Witch Ags™ will be available for sale the the next three Sundays after Church Services as you exit the lot. Each one will hold a witch and are Certified leak proof, so no more soiling the back of your Escalade. Platinum Tithers, your people will be issued a generous supply and they will be delivered to your armories.

Finally, the verification judges know the difference between hog flesh and with flesh.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-05-2018, 05:27 PM

Just a thought for next year..


An app for ios & android. We could geotag the hunt, report kills and get badges


Phil


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-05-2018, 05:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander View Post
An app for ios & android. We could geotag the hunt, report kills and get badges.
I think there's already an app for JesOS, Brother.

But how about a junior app - sort of like Pokemon Go, but with witches? My husband has a firm rule (no live ammo in your weapons until your sixth birthday) and the littlest ones are always disappointed not to be able to join in the fun.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Guns Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-05-2018, 07:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I think there's already an app for JesOS, Brother.

But how about a junior app - sort of like Pokemon Go, but with witches? My husband has a firm rule (no live ammo in your weapons until your sixth birthday) and the littlest ones are always disappointed not to be able to join in the fun.
Women are so over protective! Children can only learn how to handle a weapon if they handle a weapon.



When little Elias gets their thumb web caught in the slide for the tenth time, they learn to use one hand. After a few black eyes from the kick of a 1911, a tyke learns that a little .223 is more fun for them (and cheaper on Dad's wallet too!).


You young people know all this computer stuff. I still use the tried and true million candle power searchlight to stun the witches and then the family lets loose.


The excitement is building!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-05-2018, 08:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Women are so over protective! Children can only learn how to handle a weapon if they handle a weapon.
Oh, Brother Hutchins, I don't have any say in the matter! The no-live-ammo rule was dictated by my husband, after a couple of unfortunate (and very expensive) incidents that are best forgotten. It boils down to "No live ammo until you are old enough to understand that your father's racehorses and prize Charolais bulls are not there for target practice." Six years old seems to be the age for that.


It doesn't stop them spear-fishing most nights, though. There's a Beluga whale just up the estuary from us, though I'm rather hoping they don't find it as I am not some sort of Eskimo and wouldn't know how to cook it.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Grammar Nazi Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-05-2018, 08:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Oh, Brother Hutchins, I don't have any say in the matter! The no-live-ammo rule was dictated by my husband, after a couple of unfortunate (and very expensive) incidents that are best forgotten. It boils down to "No live ammo until you are old enough to understand that your father's racehorses and prize Charolais bulls are not there for target practice." Six years old seems to be the age for that.


It doesn't stop them spear-fishing most nights, though. There's a Beluga whale just up the estuary from us, though I'm rather hoping they don't find it as I am not some sort of Eskimo and wouldn't know how to cook it.
Very reasonable. I have to admit, I've gone out to the'car barn' and found a few bullet holes in my cars, no doubt from high spirited horseplay as well.

I spoil my kids and none of the boys have to do 'barn duty' as shoveling manure and such is (as I am sure you understand) 'woman's work' that is part of making them attractive to a potential husband. The Hutchin's boys all learn how to run a company and mange people. Seeing the little tykes up on the 'boss man' cart, yelling instructions through a bull horn at all the field workers, makes a daddy proud.


Whale hunting, that sounds like fun! I imagine everyone 'gets a hit' with one of those beasts.We tried our hand at seal hunting last spring in California. We used sledge hammers. Some crazy people yelled at us about 'clubbing' the disgusting animals. Such idiots.


Anywho, I am looking forward to seeing your families talley. It is all about togetherness,the family unit and most of all, showing our love to Jesus.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2018 Witch Hunt - 10-14-2018, 10:49 AM

I have been asked to reply to the following letter on behalf of Pastor Flint.


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Dear Mrs Brown,


Thank you for your letter of 12th October. I do apologize for the errors of Bobby-Joe. I can fully understand why you were upset: the correct legislation is, in fact, Section 1341(f)(iv) and not as quoted. I will ensure that Bobby-Joe is made aware of this.

I enclose your application form for a Witch Hunting Permit (2018) Unrestricted and the new Tithing form.


Yours in Christ,




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

 

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