[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

It is my sad duty to announce that the Mayor of Freehold, Mitch Mitchell, was found dead this evening.
Mayor Mitchell earlier told his wife, Annabelle Mitchell, that he was feeling under the weather, but instead of having her fuss over him he sent her go out for dinner with her sister, Miss Tammy Buchwald.
Upon returning home, Mrs. Mitchell found her husband unconscious in their mansion's private ensuite bathroom. Paramedics were unable to revive him, and God chose to say "No" to the prayers of friends, family, and medical staff.
At 9:25 tonight, Mayor Mitchell passed from this world into the Lord's loving arms.


I have spoken to Mrs. Mitchell and Landover Security, and they have asked me to help squash the rumors that Mayor Mitchell was found wearing a scuba diver's wetsuit underneath his wife's wedding dress. He was also not found with a nylon stocking wrapped around his neck and tied to the door knob, and no award trophies for Tither of the Year were found lodged into his rectum.
If anyone is found spreading these vicious rumors, please expect a visit from Landover Security as well as a hefty lawsuit on behalf of the late Mayor Mitchell's bereaved family.

[Meek and Humble]

This is a tragic day for Freehold!

[Brother Enoch]

Mitch? No!

I spoke to him on the phone just last Sunday. He seemed in good spirits despite all that's been going on. That's what I loved about him, nothing could get him down. And he always treated me like a real person even though I live 100 miles on the wrong side of the border.

I'll miss you Mitch! Our loss is Heaven's gain!

Annabelle, call me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Well that is sad. I just played golf with Mayor Mitchell last week and he seemed in good spirits. I have been concerned with his recent decision to turn down the proposed new high-end shopping mall to be built on some of the land over in coon town...

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

It is my sad duty to announce that the Mayor of Freehold, Mitch Mitchell, was found dead this evening.

I heard this on the car radio and almost swerved off the road!

I simply can't believe it. I'm in utter shock. I just...that's so AWFUL!

I simply can't believe that our fine Mayor's political enemies are already rubbing salt into the wounds by spreading those vicious stories. He isn't even COLD yet, for God™s sake. Where's the proper respect for the American Family Unit that remains behind?

Jackals. Jackals!

[Cranky Old Man]

This is a sad day for Freehold but I am sure he will be in Heaven now.

[Talitha]

My Prayers are with his poor family.

Just to be clear, that was NOT my car driving away from the Mitchell family home at 8pm. I just happened to be driving past at around that time.

[True Disciple]

The poor man. He and his family will be in my prayers.

This is a sad day for all of Freehold. Of course, I didn't know him personally, but I remember fondly the uplifting speech he delivered before the kickoff of Witch Hunt 2009.

Glad to hear the scuba diver's wetsuit is false! I was worried about that one.

[Alfred King]

This is a tragedy for his family, his friends and everyone in Freehold and in America. A great man died. I am sure he will be remembered for his optimism and all the great things he has done for Freehold and for America.

Unfortunately Landover Security tried to stop me, but after my wife took care of that my wife and I went to visit Annabelle Mitchell. We gave her our sincere condolences and I assured her Freehold would still be in good hands. The poor woman cried all the time.

[James Hutchins]

Wow, I am devastated by the news. Mitch and I shared a few hobbies and we had become good friends. I would of rushed to town but I am in Lubbock Texas taking care of some other Church business.

Al, poor Mitch is not even in the ground, you are a married man yet you are 'hitting on' Mitch's widow already? Despicable!

[True Disciple]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

Al, poor Mitch is not even in the ground, you are a married man yet you are 'hitting on' Mitch's widow already? Despicable!

I'm afraid that's what you get from race-mixing, Brother, give a negro one white wife, and he will think he owns all of them.

[Alfred King]

I assure you I am as monogamous as they come. If you met my stunningly beautiful wife you would understand why.

[A Follower]

This is just terrible, I am without words to express what loss I feel, and what a loss this must be to Freehold.

I find it highly suspect that just hours after this nigra comes into town there already is an unsolved murder.

[Alfred King]

Originally Posted by A Follower

I find it highly suspect that just hours after this nigra comes into town there already is an unsolved murder.

I have been here a little longer than a few hours. There is more to Freehold than just this forum. I understand that it will take some time for me to earn your trust but I am confident that in time you will learn to appreciate me for my actions instead of focusing on the color of my skin.

[SayvedByTheLord]

This is indeed tragic news. We just talked a couple of weeks ago when we ran into each other at the Freehold divers supply shop. He said he was re supplying for special trip.

My condolences to the family.

[Wide-Open]

Originally Posted by Alfred King

I have been here a little longer than a few hours. There is more to Freehold than just this forum. I understand that it will take some time for me to earn your trust but I am confident that in time you will learn to appreciate me for my actions instead of focusing on the color of my skin.

Mr. King, may I remind you that this thread is NOT about you or your, eh, chromatic persuasion.

We are all SHOCKED by this news. Yes, of course Mitch is now with Jesus, probably sipping a cold one, but for Freehold this is a terrible LOSS.

So if you could please stop yapping for a while that would be great. Thank you.

[eliot mayfield]

Praise Jesus, Mitch is in Heaven! But who's in charge now?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

Praise Jesus, Mitch is in Heaven! But who's in charge now?

I'm in charge, don't worry.


We're just waiting for the Chairlady of Freehold Elections to research what our next steps should be. Old man Mitchell was mayor here for I don't know how many years. I don't think we've ever had a situation like this before.

Anyone seen Miss Cookie?

[James Dewitt]

Praise Jesus, The Lord has called a good man Home. Mitch we miss you.
Who owns the White Cadillac SUV with the plate Jesus-1, It has been parked all night at the widows home. You left your parking lights on.

P. S. Annabelle call me if you feel the need for a shoulder to cry on.

[Nobar King]

One thing I won't miss is his lack of participation, especially on this forum. He just had this 'elite' air about him, like he thought he was better than me.