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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Smile November 25 is WATERBOARDING WITH JESUS DAY! - 04-16-2010, 06:07 AM

NOVEMBER 25th IS:

International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. God obviously doesn't agree, just look at how many women He's killed and maimed on this date! It's basically just a list of tsunamis, storms, and earthquakes!

Waterboarding with Jesus Day. As declared by me. God tends to be in a violent mood today. Lots of disasters that smite the unGodly, in particular Godly Waterboarding in the form of tsunamis, storms and even the Great Deluge that kills everyone on Earth except for Noah and co. Also lots of victorious battles with high bodycounts for the forces of righteousness.

Happy birthday Ezekiel B!



NOVEMBER 25th IN HISTORY:

2009 - Mecca: Hajj is interupted by FLOODING! In Saudi Arabia, on the driest places in the world! God also used Swine Flu to kill 4 pilgrims (so far).

2008 – A car bomb in St. Petersburg, Russia, kills three people. God's punishment for Orthodox commies.

2006 - Sean Bell and two friends are shot 50 times by police for saying "yo, get my gun" as if the second amendment applies to blacks or something. Jesus makes sure that our heroic boys in blue are acquitted on all charges.

2001 - Battle of Qala-i-Jangi begins. In the first battle of the War on Terror, 300 foreign Al-Queda prisoners will die in a failed prison uprising. Many of them are - get this - drowned and killed by hypothermia. In Afghanistan, one of the driest and hottest places on Earth. How can anybody doubt that today is Waterboarding With Jesus Day?

Quote:
Oh, it's beauty-full
2000 – Baku earthquake. 26 Orthodox, commies, and Muslims are sent to HELL.

1992 -- Denmark: 87 nations meet in Copenhagen regarding phasing out ozone-depleting CFC (chlorofluorocarbon) chemicals by 1996. The US opposes the agreement, because 1. We can just pray the Ozone back 2. UV rays only give sunburns and cancer to scantily clad harlots and 3. Hairspray is awesome. I mean, just look:

Quote:
Hairstlyes before the CFC ban.

Hairstyles after the CFC ban. Lord help us.
1987 – Super Typhoon Nina pummels the Philippines with category 5 winds of 165 mph and a surge that swallows entire villages. At least 1,036 Catholics are waterboared to death by JESUS and go straight to hell. Not the first time that's happened on November 25th, you'll see!

1986 – Iran Contra Affair: US Attorney General Edwin Meese claims that profits from covert weapons sales to Iran (a nation of strong family values) were illegally (by SECULAR LAW, not Biblical Law) diverted to the Contra freedom-commandos in Nicaragua.

1984 – Christmas shopping is made even more unpleasant as 36 jungle-music "artists" record Band Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas in order to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia, which is still starving. At least Ethiopians don't have to listen to the horrible song - they should be sending US relief in the form of earplugs.

1977 – Phillipines: Former Liberal Party Senator Benigno Aquino, Jr. is found guilty by the Philippine Military Commission No. 2 of being an unpatriotic soldier-hater who probably spits on veterans. He is sentenced to death by firing squad. Benigno Aquino, Jr. is also the former secretary-General of the Liberal Party - and they needed an entire tribunal just to figure out if he's worth shooting?

In 1968 Aquino claimed that Phillipine leader Ferdinan Marcos was establishing "a garrison state" by "ballooning the armed forces budget", saddling the defense establishment with "overstaying generals" and "militarizing our civilian government offices" - typical soldier-hating liberal rhetoric.

Quote:
Ronald Reagan and the Marcos family always shared a very friendly relationship. Note Imelda's excellent taste in shoes.
This This what God does to you when you mess with His agents, and their shoe-loving wives.
1975 – Dutch surrender monkeys surrender Suriname.

1963 – Executed traitor John F. Kennedy's corpse, now starting to stink, is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

1958 – French surrender monkeys surrender Sudan.

1950 – God punishes liberal New Englanders with the "Storm of the Century", a violent snowstorm that kills 323 yankees.

1947 – The "Hollywood Ten" are blacklisted by Hollywood movie studios.

1926 – God tests our faith with the deadliest November tornado outbreak in U.S. history, on Thanksgiving day. 27 twisters of great strength are reported in the Midwest, including the strongest November tornado, an estimated F4, that devastates Heber Springs, Arkansas. Lots of people survive because they prayed. Lots of people die, presumably because they didn't. 51 ascend to heaven in Arkansas alone, 76 are lifted into the loving arms of Christ nationwide, and 400 are injured, because they were praying, but not praying their hardest.

1913 – Panama becomes a signatory to the Buenos Aires copyright treaty. Obviously non-binding, seeing as the death-metal band Van Halen have a song called "Panama" and have not been sued.

1876 – United States Army troops heroically sack Chief Dull Knife's sleeping Cheyenne village at the headwaters of the Powder River.

Quote:
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer: his bling didn't save him from God's wrath
1867 – Alfred Nobel patents dynamite. Shocked when he learns that explosions hurt people, he goes on a typical white liberal guilt trip, handing out blingy awards to any jew or colored who can put together a science fair project. For a Christian alternative, see the Noble Prize.

1864 - British statesman Benjamin Disraeli declares in a speech: 'Man is a being born to believe, and if no church comes forward with all the title deeds of truth, he will find altars and idols in his own heart and his own imagination.' He would know all about this, being a cultist himself (Jewish).

1864 - While Ben blathers, the Confederate Army of Manhattan starts fires in more than 20 locations around Jew York City. If they had This Day in Conservative Christian History back then, they would have known they would have more success sinking ships, knowing that today God prefers to drown sinners, rather than burn them.

1839 – A cyclone slams India with high winds and a 40 foot storm surge, permanently pacifying the port city of Coringa. An estimated 300,000 hindus and muslims die, waterboarded to death by Jesus, and go straight to hell where they are currently being waterboarded with boiling pig and beef fat.

1833 – Another Indonesian tsunami! God loves this particular punishment! He also dishes it out in 1797, 1861, 2004, 2005 and 2007, Bodycount this time is "numerous" but unknown, since Indonesians didn't have white people around to teach them how to count.

1820 - English poet and Oxford Movement leader John Keble, 28, pens the words to the hymn, "Sun of My Soul" ("Sun of my soul, Thou Savior dear, It is not night if Thou be near....").

1807 - Anglican missionary Henry Martyn writes in his journal: 'With thee, O my God, there is no disappointment; I shall never have to regret that I loved thee too well.' Seeing as he's an Anglican, which is nothing but a Catholic with worse cooking, he's going to be VERY dissapointed when he is thrown into HELL.

1759 – God punishes hummus-munching Muslims, Jews and Coptic heretics with a Mediterranean earthquake. Beirut and Damascus are completely destroyed, 30,000-40,000 dead and burning in hell.

1758 – French and Indian War: British forces capture Fort Duquesne from French control. Lots of heathen indians die and go straight to HELL. Fort Pitt is built nearby and it grows into modern cessPITT of sin, Pittsburgh.

1742 - In New York, David Brainerd, 24, is approved as a missionary to the New England Indians by the Scottish Society for the Propagating of Christian Knowledge (SPCK). Brainerd worked heroically from Apr 1743, but the filthy indians infected him with tuberculosis, forcing him to relinquish his work in Nov 1746.

1667 – A deadly earthquake rocks Shemakha in the Caucasus, killing 80,000 people, most of whom are not even Caucasian, but turks and slavs. As orthodox heretics and muslims they go straight to HELL.

1500 - Spain: Columbus returns after his third voyage to the New World, in chains. (Latins sure aren't known for their gratitute. Ever gotten a "thank you" from any of the millions of illegal mexicans?)

1491 – The siege of Grenada, the last Muslim stronghold in Spain (before immigration created Eurabia), begins. Not to be confused with Reagan's invasion of Grenada, which was far bolder and more glorious.

1177 – Baldwin IV of Jerusalem and Raynald of Chatillon defeat Saladin at the Battle of Montgisard. About 24,000 muslims are pacified and sent straight the bacon-grease-lubricated rape-rooms of HELL.

2348 BC - As proven by Archbishop James Ussher's Old Testament chronology, the Great Deluge ("Noah's Flood") began on this date.


DAMNED TO HELL ON NOVEMBER 25th:

2006 – Antonis Vratsanos, commie terrorist for the Greek People's Liberation Army.

1968 – Upton Sinclair, muckraking socialist journalist whos book "The Jungle" showed that careless workers were falling into meatgrinders. Thanks to his efforts, now when a worker falls into a meatgrinder the mess is thrown out so we don't have to eat him.

1949 – Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, jungle-music "artist", proto-devil-rocker.

1881 – Theobald Boehm, German inventor of the modern flute, favorite instrument of devil-rocker Peter Gabriel. How many innocent band camp girls have lost their hymens to this infernal device?

Quote:
"They have harps and lyres at their banquets, tambourines and flutes and wine, but they have no regard for the deeds of the LORD, no respect for the work of His hands" - Isaiah 5:12

"Why do the wicked live on growing old...they make merry to the sound of the flute." -Job 21:7-12
1185 - Pope Lucius III. Exiled from Rome due to local infighting. Uh, if you're actually God's #1 man on Earth, why do you have to live in exile? God does not hear the prayers of the Pope!



ASCENDED TO HEAVEN ON NOVEMBER 25TH:

1963 – Alexander Marinesko, captain of the S-13 submarine, which sank the German ship Wilhelm Gustloff, waterboarding to death 10,000 lutheran and catholic krauts.

1748 - Isaac Watts, hymnwriter from which we get the expression "Idle hands are the devil's playthings".

Quote:
How doth the little busy bee
Improve each shining hour
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower!

How skilfully she builds her cell!
How neat she spreads the wax!
And labours hard to store it well
With the sweet food she makes.

In works of labour or of skill,
I would be busy too;
For Satan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do.

In books, or work, or healthful play,
Let my first years be passed,
That I may give for every day
Some good account at last.

Later plagerized by drug-crazed pedophile Lewis Carroll in Alice in Wonderland's "How Doth the Little Crocodile".

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