Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Christian history forum
Reload this Page April 16th is Saint Bernadette's Feast (of snot) Day!
Christian history forum This forum is dedicated to the history of Christianity, and its impact on the history of the world.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,411
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Talking April 16th is Saint Bernadette's Feast (of snot) Day! - 04-16-2010, 06:28 AM

April 16 in conservative Christian history

April 16 is the feast day of Saint Fructuosus of Braga (Catholics).

"After the death of Bishop Riccimer, Fructuosus succeeded him...the clergy of Dumio complained that Riccimer's will, which dispensed church rents to the poor and freed the episcopate's slaves, had impoverished the See. The Council agreed that...the acts of his will were rendered invalid." Sainthood for slaveowners!

Is also the feast day of Saint Marie-Bernarde Soubirous though the only thing she feasted on today was her own snot (see below).

2008 – Democratic senators Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama participate in the final Democratic primary debate of 2008 in Philadelphia. As usual, the topic of debate is who can better represent America-hating babykillers.

2007 - Virginia Tech Massacre: 32 killed by gun control.

1987 – British Conservative Minister of Parliment Harvey Proctor appears at Bow Street Magistrates' Court in London charged with gross indecency for spanking and cane-beating male prostitutes, aged between 17 and 21, in his London apartment. What has the world come to when we can't discipline teenage sodomites?

1972 – According to the faked apollo program, Apollo 16 is launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Actually it was just a little model filmed on a sound stage in hollywood.

1963 – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (who is niether a doctor, nor Martin Luther, nor related to any king), plagerizes his famous Letter from Birmingham Jail while incarcerated in Birmingham, in between raping white men for dropping soap and singing 'The Internationale".

1948 - Straight outta Compton: Christians in Action incorporated in Compton, CA.

Founded by Rev. Lee Shelley, this interdenominational overseas mission helps establish national churches in nearly two dozen overseas countries. Because they're comin' straight outta Compton!

1947 – Bernard Baruch coins the term "Cold War" to describe the relationship between the United States and the Soviet Union, properly known as "the war started by liberal traitors and won by Ronald Reagan and Ronald Reagan alone".

1947 – Texas City Disaster: An explosion on board a freighter in port causes the city of Texas City, Texas, to catch fire, killing almost 600. God was punishing Texas for excessive safety regulations.
Quote:

Look how many cars are on the road. Texans do love to watch fireworks.
1946 – French surrender-monkeys surrender Syria.

1943 – Dr. Albert Hofmann discovers the psychedelic effects of LSD, while riding a bicycle. Banning LSD was a start, but only banning bicycles will truely end this menace.
Quote:
If LSD causes creativity, why do "trippers" keep ripping off the Book of Revelations?
1941 – Bob Feller of the Cleveland Indians throws the only Opening Day no-hitter in the history of Major League Baseball, beating the Chicago White Sox 1-0. Yes, baseball is the most boring "sport" ever. "Let's watch somebody throw a ball and somebody not hitting it". Nothing like the high-speed chess match that is NASCAR.

1904 - Birth of Merrill C. Tenney, American N.T. scholar. In addition to his many scholarly writings, Tenney was dean of the Wheaton College Graduate School in Illinois from 1947-71

1874 - Arkansas: 200 men led by Elijah Baxter, candidate for Governor of Arkansas, surround the State House, seized 24 hours earlier by rival candidate Joseph Brooks & his supporters. Two weeks later, there will be a pitched battle with 25 casualties. This starts the tradition of Arkansas governors being thugs, leading to the horror of Bill Clinton.

1862 – War of Northern Aggression: A bill ending slavery in the District of Columbia becomes law. Secular law - NOT biblical law!

1854 - Where's an abortion doctor when you actually need one? "Army of the poor" leader Jacob Coxey born, Masillon, Ohio. Arrested for rallying in favor of public road-building as an economic stimulus - a mirror-opposite of today's tea party movement.

1829 - Death of Carl G. Glaser, 45, German choral master and composer of the hymn "O For a Thousand Tongues." Clearly an oral-sex-maniac, he is burning in HELL.

1818 - Surrender monkeys in the US Senate ratifies Rush-Bagot ammendment, resulting in the unarmed US-Canada border. God gave that land to His Chosen People, not to a bunch of beaver-eating igloo-dwellers.

1772 - Anglican clergyman and hymnwriter John Newton wrote in a letter: "I think there is a scriptural distinction between faith and feeling, grace and comfort.... The degree of the one is not often the just measure of the other." Sounds like reefer-mad babbling. More proof that Anglicans are just Catholics with bad cooking.

1746 – God punishes the skirt-wearing, sheep-bothering scots with defeat at the Battle of Culloden. The wounded skirt-wearers are killed and 102 are formally executed.

1681 - Province of New Jersey is sold for $25,000. Hasn't increased in value since.

1582 – Spanish conquistador Hernando de Lerma founds the settlement of Salta, Argentina. Thanks Hernando, the world really needed more stupid dances, bad musicals starring Madonna, and beef in stupid annoying-to-open tins.

1521 - German reformer Martin Luther, 34, arrived at the Diet of Worms, where he afterward defended his Ninety-Five Theses, first advanced in 1517. At the Diet, Luther refused to recant his ideas "unless overcome by Scripture." Eventually he would be overcome by Jesus, who sent him to HELL.

1071 – Byzantine surrender-monkeys surrender Italy to Robert Guiscard - a Frenchman. That's right, the icon-worshipping orthodox are even wimpier than the French. The end of orthodox rule in Italy ushers in one thousand years of catholic kitten-killing.

73 – Masada, a Jewish fortress, falls to the Romans after several months of siege, ending the Jewish Revolt. God does not hear the prayers of a Jew.

1178 BC - Greek king Odysseus returns home from the Trojan War. (The first trojan war, not our crusade to ban condoms).

DAMNED TO HELL ON APRIL 16:

1958 - Rosalind Elsie Franklin secular scientist who invented the DNA fraud.

Quote:

Jew, germunist, and by the looks of her, a lesbian: triple hellbound.
1879 - Saint Marie-Bernarde Soubirous

Catholics declared her a saint because she had hallucinations and died at the age of 35 from tuberculosis. If she's so beloved by God, why did He kill her by choking her to death with her own snot at the age of 35? Waterboarding is a bad way to die, but snotboarding? Real nice guy you catholics worship.
Quote:



Watch this video and YOU TOO CAN BE A SAINT!

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 04-17-2010 at 08:27 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Dr. Laurie PHD's Avatar
Dr. Laurie PHD Dr. Laurie PHD is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls True Scientist™ Long service medal, 3rd class

 
Posts: 92
Join Date: Mar 2008
Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Laurie PHD has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: April 16th is Saint Bernadette's Feast (of snot) Day! - 04-17-2010, 08:32 AM

That video actually made me stop hallucinating for a while. Thanks Jeb!


Founder and CEO Methodological Methods Labs L.L.C. Savvy doctor-shoppers shop here!

Donate to the Sacred Life Sperm Bank today! "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you". -Jeremiah 1:5, and Psalm 139:13
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
DevoutBob's Avatar
DevoutBob DevoutBob is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 47
Join Date: Apr 2010
DevoutBob is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: April 16th is Saint Bernadette's Feast (of snot) Day! - 04-17-2010, 11:41 AM

thanks jeb, with this hallucinogenic gateway to god I too can be a true christian.


Demonic Chants and Black Magic incantations Not allowed - Admin

Jesus is great!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
saints, this day in history

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved