[Cranky Old Man]

Angry Birds is a Finnish "game" which originated on Steve Jobs' gayPhone. It is now spreading like a cancer to other devices. Never in my 50 years on the web have I met such horror. There can be no doubt that everyone who plays Angry Birds will end up in Hell! Thanks go to Brother John Creeser for bringing this great horror to my attention.

The pigs looking like Nazi's is no coincidence!


A SEX Training Game!
Angry Birds is played by slowly moving your finger over the surface of your phone. As the game progresses you need to move your finger over the surface faster and faster. When the game progresses even more you also have to touch a certain spot over and over to get your reward. Those who have, reluctantly, studied the ways of sluts, whores and harlots will recognize female masturbation here! That's right! The best way to play Angry Birds is also the best way to make a women climax! So Angry Birds is training both men and women in how to get a women to orgasm! And as we all know only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms! God clearly disapproves of masturbation! Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

This is not why God gave us fingers!


A direct attack on Jesus Christ!
Once more and more people got seduced by Angry Birds the gay sex orgy fanatics at Rovio launched a new version of the game directly attacking Jesus Christ! God will smite all those who played this anti-Christ version of Angry Birds! 2nd Chronicles 15:13 "That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman."

Mocking Jesus Christ on His own birthday!


Hardcore Costume SEX!
Not only does Angry Birds teach people to fornicate like rabbits, a lot of really really sick people have sex while wearing Angry Birds costumes and driving Angry Birds cars! And we all know, furries are the love child of Satan and anime! God doesn't like this! Exodus 22:19 "Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death."

Furry sex freaks love having sex wearing Angry Birds costumes!


DESTROYING America!
It is no coincidence that our economy started tanking at exactly the same moment Angry Birds was released. Our deficit has tripled due to the horror that is Angry Birds! Once we used to be a nation of productive people kicking ass in the global economy. Now we get crushed by the Chinese who don't like Angry Birds because it reminds them of their beloved Peking Duck. So while Americans are wasting their lives playing Angry Birds, China is obliterating our economy! God is not pleased about Angry Birds making America lazy! Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent will rule, But the lazy man will be put to forced labor."

Angry Bird is very bad for America's piggy banks!

[Dutch Girl]

Are you really that insane!

It is just an innocent game and there is nothing wrong with women masturbating or having orgasms!

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

You know what, brother Cranky, I think that even with a real woman it's still just practice. You can never get that right.

[Gabriel Reproba]

This explains a lot. All seven of my children have been telling me that their secular school mates have been "giving them the Bird." Now I understand what is going on. Time to sue to get Angry Birds banned from all public places! Thanks, Cranks!

[Brother Alex]

Originally Posted by Dutch Girl

Are you really that insane!

It is just an innocent game and there is nothing wrong with women masturbating or having orgasms!

Having read brother Cranky's article, I'm not sure how you've come to such conclusion that this is "just an innocent game". Masturbation in ALL forms is strongly prohibited according to Biblical law and should not be taken lightly. Just remember what happened to Onan in Genesis 38:9-10:

"And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

[Dutch Girl]

Originally Posted by Brother Alex

Masturbation in ALL forms is strongly prohibited according to Biblical law and should not be taken lightly. Just remember what happened to Onan in Genesis 38:9-10:

"And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also."

Dude, you never paid much attention during biology now did you? Girls don't spill seed when they masturbate, only guys do.

[Titus Templeton]

I don't like birds, but i do like chicken.

[Lycia The Repentant]

Originally Posted by Dutch Girl

Dude, you never paid much attention during biology now did you? Girls don't spill seed when they masturbate, only guys do.

Listen strumpet, did you forget about the last time a woman mucked around with her seed? It didn't end well for us!

"And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:15-16

Now why don't you stop trying to tempt the men here into sin and get right with Jesus, harlot?

[John Creeser]

Brother Cranky - thank you for the mention. I am glad you are exposing (in great detail) how evil this "game" is.

What is this world coming to?

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Dutch Girl

masturbate

I think you'd be surprised at the extent of God's love - if only you would let Him in. He really is able to fill you: fill you up with joy.

Romans 15:13 Nowe the God of hope fill you with all ioy and peace in beleeuing, that yee may abound in hope through the power of the holy Ghost.

Wouldn't you like to abound?

[Malice]

Isn't this just a bit over the top? Its just a game and it isn't hurting hurting anyone.

[Rev Jim Jones]

Originally Posted by Dutch Girl

Are you really that insane!

It is just an innocent game and there is nothing wrong with women masturbating or having orgasms!

Your going to hell.

[Nobar King]

Why are these birds so angry? Does masturbating them really calm them down?

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Why are these birds so angry?

My guess is because they hate America.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Originally Posted by Malice

Isn't this just a bit over the top? Its just a game and it isn't hurting hurting anyone.

if you think masturbating your way into hell isn't a hurtful thing, you have some screwed up ideas about what hurts!

[MitzaLizalor]

debauch of the masturbatrix

<- please do not click

[Dutch Girl]

Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba

if you think masturbating your way into hell isn't a hurtful thing, you have some screwed up ideas about what hurts!

If masturbating hurts you are doing it wrong.

[Microzoy]

So bascially because some birds are wearing some helmets they are nazis? O rly? I see your ''logic'' there.

And just because you move your finger around the screen doesn't mean it's that, it's a touch screen game. Are you mad?

And that christmas version of the game isn't mocking jesus, he's just celebriting christmas.

And just because they are wearing costumes doesn't make them furries, calm down you really have some problems if you think like that. Nobody in the whole world looks at games like that.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by Microzoy

So bascially because some birds are wearing some helmets they are nazis?

They are not just "some" helmets, they are Nazi helmets.

And just because you move your finger around the screen doesn't mean it's that, it's a touch screen game. Are you mad?

Did you even bother to actually read my posting?

And that christmas version of the game isn't mocking jesus, he's just celebriting christmas.

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. How is some America hating bird a proper way to celebrate?

And just because they are wearing costumes doesn't make them furries

Of course it does. Why else would someone wear an animal costume?

, calm down you really have some problems if you think like that. Nobody in the whole world looks at games like that.

Well, most people I know agree with me completely on this, so you are clearly wrong there!

[Microzoy]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

They are not just "some" helmets, they are Nazi helmets.

Did you even bother to actually read my posting?

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. How is some America hating bird a proper way to celebrate?

Of course it does. Why else would someone wear an animal costume?

Well, most people I know agree with me completely on this, so you are clearly wrong there!

They are nazi helmets? What have you been smoking? And even though ''IF'' they were nazis what's the problem, you are nothing worse then them? ''Get your daughter raped because they are useless and just whine when you hit them with a book'', ''Ban all games since they look bad just because i have some perverted thoughs.''

That bird isn't real, do you really think that there is some bird that is against America? Just because you think this game makes America poor and makes China rich.. ((uhm yeah right that makes sense?)) doesn't make him an america hating bird. It's a game, you really have some problems if you think so.

They would be wearing animal costumes because they are advertising Angry birds. No, i won't say more if you can't get that in your small brain.

And no i don't think most people agree since this is the most selled App on the Iphone. And let me guess you will say that the Iphone learns people to be satan's slaves. HUHU.