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  • #1

    Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

    My nephew immigrated to the Netherlands and now lives just outside Amsterdam, all because some godless floozy enticed him to take part in shooting marywanna in his veins as they fornicate outside the bonds of Holy One Man One Woman Wedlock.

    My concern is that he may be seduced by a Dutchman since homers over there probably look different than American homers. Worse, if this non-Christian whore with whom he is shacking up tries to suggest marriage, I fear his soul will be damned forever. (Does God hate the Dutch?)

    In an email message to me he stated, "I have never been in a place where free-thought and hedonism were so abundant." His apartment is over a bookstore where he says they sell "All kinds of hot porno and the gay guy that runs the place owns the whole building." So his landlord is a homer. I wouldn't be surprised if his floozy girlfriend is one of those bipolars that have sex no matter the gender.

    If anyone here lives near Amsterdam I may be willing to pay you to kidnap him and get him back to the safety of the United States. I have about five bucks; surely that would be sufficient reimbursement.

    If my fears are unjustified, I ask that you encourage me now so that I don't worry about him. Bless you, brothers and sisters, for your expected concern.
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  • #2
    Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

    That sounds awfully self-centered, friend. Would Jesus drown an entire country just to save one foreigner?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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    • #3
      Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

      Originally posted by Brother Larry View Post
      My concern is that he may be seduced by a Dutchman since homers over there probably look different than American homers.
      What do you have against two men who are having fun together?

      I have about five bucks
      So you hate people having fun, are probably a virgin and have no money. Your life sounds miserable. Perhaps you should get to Amsterdam and have some fun!


      Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

      - Ecclesiastes xii.7

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      • #4
        Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

        Pastor Brother Zeke has made a good point that God is not likely to destroy an entire country to save a foreigner there, especially one who is not a Christian and has likely gone there to sin. Perhaps if the man in question was not a foreigner and he was wanted by God for grievous sins we could expect possible destruction to get ahold of the man, but not in this case; at least, not for this reason.

        I believe the real question here is whether Holland may be destroyed by God, whether by flood or by other means, for their continuing affronts and sinful behavior.

        I believe the answer is: Yes.

        I hardly know where to begin in my condemnation of this nation of unsaved wretches.

        First of all, they have driven back the sea from the place where God put it. Who do think they are to over rule the Lord on anything, especially something as basic as the boundries of the sea and land?

        They have stores that sell fallen women for pleasure, marijuana and strong whiskey, as well as beer which they drink in lieu of water. They allow their incarcerated felons to smoke drugs in prison. Lately, they have taken to smelling cocaine, which is a drug from South America that the Mexicans down there make and export all over the world.

        I believe an immediate flood is not out of the question. I doubt many of the inhabitants would be spared. I fear Brother Larry's nephew is likely one of the damned and will have to go to Hell with the rest.

        Such is the wrath of God.
        God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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        • #5
          Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

          Originally posted by Brother Larry View Post
          I fear his soul will be damned forever. (Does God hate the Dutch?)

          In an email message to me he stated, "I have never been in a place where free-thought and hedonism were so abundant."
          I think you need to get back to basics, here, Brother Larry. Have you read to story of Noah? All the sinners were drownd. Instead of saving your brother, God is likely to send him on a long swim.
          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

            Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
            I think you need to get back to basics, here, Brother Larry. Have you read to story of Noah? All the sinners were drownd. Instead of saving your brother, God is likely to send him on a long swim.
            Your Honor Mister Mayor,

            What would I do without the good counsel of the people of Freehold and Landover Baptist Church? In my zeal to rescue my relative, I may have been praying amiss.

            Now I think I know the real answer: if he chooses to live with a floozy in a queer house, it's out of my hands and in the hands of the LORD of hosts. He had a Baptist upbringing and has decided to rebel against it. While I went the ways of the Roman Catholic Church, my older brother and his wife embraced the Christian life in a Baptist church, making my parents happy for them and worried about me.

            I am no better than my nephew in that respect. At least I have now renounced my maryism. There is hope.

            What a fantastic public administrator you are, sir. Such wisdom.

            Brother Larry

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            • #7
              Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              That sounds awfully self-centered, friend. Would Jesus drown an entire country just to save one foreigner?
              I'm sure He would if that foreigner was a True Christian(tm), but this nephew sounds like unsaved trash so I doubt a Holy Rescue Mission is in the works.
              Posted via Prayer

              1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
              Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

              Blogging for CHRIST!
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              My Ladies of Landover profile!

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              • #8
                Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                Brother Larry it fills my heart with sorrow to hear of your family's crisis, Have you thought of sending in a professional to eliminate the person(s) holding your dear cousin hostage? I know of a guy and if you need funds Im only a private message away. I of course will be needing your services in return

                God bless

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                  If God wants your nephew to return the flock, He will guide him. Until then, you should forget all about him, as if he never existed. Places like neverland are provided by God for the souless to be kept away from good, Gor fearing people. When the next Great Flood comes, they (along with those in New Orleans) will be flushed from His bosom.
                  So pray for the rapture, Brother Larry and Gods Perfect Will(r)
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                    Originally posted by Alvin Moss View Post
                    Pastor Brother Zeke has made a good point that God is not likely to destroy an entire country to save a foreigner there
                    I confess (not in a Cathlick way, obviously!) that I was a bit puzzled by Pastor Zeke's comment. Surely Brother Larry's nephew is an American, not a foreigner? It is the Dutchies who are the foreigners. Why would God not destroy their country to save an American?

                    Perhaps it is because the nephew is a sinner. If Brother Larry could just bring him back to Jesus, then it would be perfectly reasonable to ask God to deal with the problem.

                    Originally posted by Alvin Moss
                    First of all, they have driven back the sea from the place where God put it. Who do think they are to over rule the Lord on anything, especially something as basic as the boundries of the sea and land?
                    And they multiply the sin by using dykes to hold back the sea. I don't know exactly how this works, but it proves that they are a people without shame.

                    YiC
                    AW
                    2 Timothy 3:16

                    All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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                    • #11
                      Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                      Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post
                      I confess (not in a Cathlick way, obviously!) that I was a bit puzzled by Pastor Zeke's comment. Surely Brother Larry's nephew is an American, not a foreigner? It is the Dutchies who are the foreigners. Why would God not destroy their country to save an American?

                      Perhaps it is because the nephew is a sinner. If Brother Larry could just bring him back to Jesus, then it would be perfectly reasonable to ask God to deal with the problem.



                      And they multiply the sin by using dykes to hold back the sea. I don't know exactly how this works, but it proves that they are a people without shame.

                      YiC
                      AW
                      No True American(tm) would move to Dutchistan to cavort with rapists and murderers. Unless he was in the CIA trying to bring down terrorist drug gangs, he was probably there to give and receive anal stimulation with transvestites. Any man who would do that is a traitor to America.
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                        Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                        No True American™ would move to Dutchistan to cavort with rapists and murderers. Unless he was in the CIA trying to bring down terrorist drug gangs, he was probably there to give and receive anal stimulation with transvestites. Any man who would do that is a traitor to America.
                        If that's what he's after then he would do better in Brazil, or even Milan. Dutchie transvestites are famously fat and ugly.

                        Slightly off-topic, I feel so sorry for those poor CIA guys, having to spend time consorting with foreign terrorists without even a decent American meal at the end of the day. Pea soup; beetroot and little else. Like the imaginary Belgians, the Clogs eat fries with mayo and as for this monstrosity:




                        it's called Stamppot, so named because they throw potatoes and vegetables into a giant pot, put on their clogs and stamp them to a pulp.

                        Flooding's too good for them.

                        YiC
                        AW
                        2 Timothy 3:16

                        All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                          Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post
                          Slightly off-topic, I feel so sorry for those poor CIA guys, having to spend time consorting with foreign terrorists without even a decent American meal at the end of the day. Pea soup; beetroot and little else. Like the imaginary Belgians, the Clogs eat fries with mayo and as for this monstrosity:




                          it's called Stamppot, so named because they throw potatoes and vegetables into a giant pot, put on their clogs and stamp them to a pulp.

                          Flooding's too good for them.

                          YiC
                          AW
                          Yeah, I also pity them. I'm sure their True American™ digestion systems can't handle the fibre and vitamins found in a good Boerenkoolstamppot™.
                          Exodus 14:21 And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                            Oh, according to my window, your prayers have been answered. But because the Dutchies control the sea, the LORD has decided to use the rain again... Hopefully Modern Noah didn't put any homo's on board this time...
                            Exodus 14:21 And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Pray for the Netherlands to flood so my nephew will come home

                              Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post



                              And they multiply the sin by using dykes to hold back the sea. I don't know exactly how this works, but it proves that they are a people without shame.

                              YiC
                              AW
                              Yes, they act like they invented the idea of perverts working. So they have a bunch of hefty dykes to hold back the sea, so what? They never talk about what the rest of their homosexuals are up to. How about that Dutch people? What are your fairies doing while the dykes are holding back the sea?

                              And what is the deal with those wooden shoes? I'd hate to have to break in a pair of those. Those people must be twisted.
                              God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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