Hello! I claim to be a witch

[ClarityGrace]

My name is Clarity Grace. Post a greeting to this thread so I can properly say 'Hello!'

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hello!

My name is Clarity Grace. Post a greeting to this thread so I can properly say 'Hello!'

Dear Clarity,

How nice of you to visit us. Of course, this is no coincidence. Jesus often guides sinners to our Forum to show them the correct ways of Worship and Repentance and we are most graceful hosts!

Hebrews 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

As you might have noticed, we belong to the Baptist True Christian™ denomination. What do you belong to and how did Jesus enter your life? Have you attempts at begetting been successful so far?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[ClarityGrace]

Ask a wiccan

Thats me! Ask a question and I will answer you honestly.

[Des]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1953.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

Before I got saved, I once paid a girl named Clarity to, um...

Well if that was you, uh, hi?

This is weird.

[Phil Ander]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

Do you float? This is the best test for a witch. Throw yourself into a large body of water. If you sink to the bottom and drown, then you are not a witch. If you float then you are a witch and eligible to be put to death by burning, stoning etc.

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

Hello, Clarity -

Clearly, the Holy Spirit has moved within you that you might seek out this Godly forum and be redeemed!

If you really are a witch, you should know God's not "down with that" (as the kids say) as per Exodus 22:18. If you're not a witch and you're lying to us, well God doesn't like that either (Proverbs 19:9)!

Have you heard the Good News? Jesus wants YOU! He wants to touch your heart from the inside and pull you close to His bosom. He wants you to turn from your scandalous, dancing-naked-in-the-forest, goat-sacrificing ways and fall on your knees in worship of Him! What I'm saying is, if you take Jesus deep within yourself, you will be SAVED (Romans 10:9)! Doesn't that sound wonderful?

If I can stop being a bead-juggling Mary hailer, you can stop being a Wiccan. With , all things are possible! (Matthew 19:26)

In Christ,
Mrs. Paddy McIrish

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

Do you float? This is the best test for a witch. Throw yourself into a large body of water. If you sink to the bottom and drown, then you are not a witch. If you float then you are a witch and eligible to be put to death by burning, stoning etc.

We all float down here Phil. You'll float too.

[Oliver Brendan Hayve]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

On the basis of what evidence do Wiccans believe that their belief system accurately describes reality?

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

We all float down here Phil. You'll float too.

"Wa'melons" float, too!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello! I claim to be a witch

ear Miss Grace,
As Christians we are enjoined to kill any witch we encounter. God's word is clear: "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"- Exodus 22:18. I realize that you are probably simply a fat, pimple faced teenager who has been influenced by your friends. However, the Lord is not one to split hairs. By now, the Investigations and Security Ministry knows your location and most other things it is possible to learn about you from your neighbors, associates, teachers, etc. and they will be making plans about what to do about you. I suspect that the entire investigation is going badly for you. Why not turn to Jesus before it is too late? He brought you here for a reason. Apparently. He is interested in you and wants you to have a chance at redemption. It is up to you to drink from the well of knowledge and not get involved with superstitions and teenage nonsense. God has little patience for those who turn from Him. Choose wisely.