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  • My father-in-law is afflicted.

    He lost his testicles to cancer. According to scripture he is banned from the House of the Lord. We have been bringing the good word back to him, but we miss him at Church.

    I will not disrespect the word of the LORD, is there any way to comfort him, now that he cannot enter the Church?

    "He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD." Deuteronomy 23:1

    This has been one of my favorite passages, but now it really hits home.
    Last edited by Joe Rolandowsky; 06-07-2009, 12:25 AM. Reason: Add text and typo
    I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

    Jeremiah 17:4
    Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

  • #2
    Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

    I believe you are seeking advice. Try that forum instead, brother.

    I believe the best way to comfort your father is to convince him to tithe everything away to the church. If he does this, he shall surely be cured of his sin, and grow new testicles! (Otherwise he has angered God, and deserves his affliction.)

    2 Corinthians 11:29-12:10- "29-Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? 30-If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities. 31-The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not. 32-In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king kept the city of the damascenes with a garrison, desirous to apprehend me: 33-And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands. | 1-It is not expedient for me doubtless to glory. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord. 2-I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; ) such an one caught up to the third heaven. 3-And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; ) 4-How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. 5-Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities. 6-For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me. 7-And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8-For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9-And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10-Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
    Last edited by Tertius The Scribe; 06-07-2009, 12:55 AM. Reason: Dem gay smilies

    Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."


    All Unsaved Trash: Read this before posting.

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    • #3
      Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

      Originally posted by Tertius The Scribe View Post
      I believe you are seeking advice. Try that forum instead, brother.
      I was torn as to what forum to post this in. Deuteronomy 23:1 has traditionally been one of my favorite Bible quotes, as it shows that God means business. But since the father-in-laws' affliction, I have been a bit conflicted. Perhaps it is a test of my faith.

      If it is a test of faith, I will not fail brother.
      I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

      Jeremiah 17:4
      Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

        Originally posted by Tertius The Scribe View Post
        I believe you are seeking advice. Try that forum instead, brother.

        I believe the best way to comfort your father is to convince him to tithe everything away to the church. If he does this, he shall surely be cured of his sin, and grow new testicles! (Otherwise he has angered God, and deserves his affliction.)

        2 Corinthians 11:29-12:10- "29-Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? 30-If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities. 31-The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not. 32-In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king kept the city of the damascenes with a garrison, desirous to apprehend me: 33-And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands. | 1-It is not expedient for me doubtless to glory. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord. 2-I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; ) such an one caught up to the third heaven. 3-And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; ) 4-How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. 5-Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities. 6-For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me. 7-And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8-For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9-And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10-Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
        Such a lovely passage Brother, one of my favorites! It so clearly and concisely sums up God's rightousness in afflicting both the unsaved as well as the saved.

        However, this young man's Grandfather may be too old to grow his testicles back. Most men lose the ability to re-grow lost body parts in their mid to late sixties.

        If he was a younger man, I would certainly suggest the typical Scientheistic therapy for regrowth: Vigorous massage of the afflicted area, along with constant, loud oral prayer by both the therapist and the patient.

        I myself have treated several men this way.
        Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


        sigpic

        Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

        Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

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        • #5
          Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

          Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
          I myself have treated several men this way.
          Interesting. Perhaps you can PM me and we can discuss the details of this procedure in private.
          I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

          Jeremiah 17:4
          Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

            Or we could meet in person and I could show you how to perform the procedure. Are you anywhere near Iowa?

            First though, I need to know how old you are. And how old your grandfather is of course. If he isn't young enough, there would be no point in teaching you the therapy.
            Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


            sigpic

            Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

            Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

              Trust me, he will be receptive to the therapy. I am in Wisconsin, not far from Iowa. I will contact you and we can meet half way, perhaps at a highway rest area somewhere in Minnesota?
              I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

              Jeremiah 17:4
              Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                An excellent idea! We should continue this discussion via PM. We do not want to waste anymore Godly bandwidth on these holy forums simply deciding where and when to meet.

                And I do hate to be a bother, but you are how old friend?
                Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                sigpic

                Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                  My son will be making the trip with me, if that is OK by you. He is one smart 15 year old! I will contact you by PM.
                  I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

                  Jeremiah 17:4
                  Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                    Wonderful! I can't wait to meet you both!
                    Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                    sigpic

                    Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                    Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                      Praise the Lord! Thanks for the help.
                      I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

                      Jeremiah 17:4
                      Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                        May he grow a big pair!




                        The Honorable Brother Jessup T. Lloyd, Esq. has spoken……..Amen!
                        The Lord’s Hang’n Judge – convicting the wicked and condemning the heretic!

                        And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. (Revelation 19:11)

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                        • #13
                          Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                          Thank you for your support Brother Jessup. Perhaps you may be interested in joining us? We could make it a mini-seminar. I found a nice outdoor location for us to meet at. I have never been there, but a friend told me that men of faith usually meet at the South gazebo, near the woods.
                          I may look like a joo, but I'm not. (My papers are available on request)

                          Jeremiah 17:4
                          Jesus LOVES Sarah! My thoughts are pleasured daily, with the anticipation of her in high office.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My father-in-law is afflicted.

                            Originally posted by Joe Rolandowsky View Post
                            Thank you for your support Brother Jessup. Perhaps you may be interested in joining us? We could make it a mini-seminar. I found a nice outdoor location for us to meet at. I have never been there, but a friend told me that men of faith usually meet at the South gazebo, near the woods.
                            I've spent some time witnessing for Christ in that area more then once, friend. Juicy pickings indeed.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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