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  • Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

    In my daily search for internet fads which are offensive to both God and man, I came across a web series known as "Red vs. Blue". At first, I thought that this web series was detailing the eventual dominance of Godly Republicans over lawless Satan-worshiping Democrats, but I was sadly mistaken. "Red vs. Blue" is by far one of the most vile God-denying shows which has ever been promulgated. Now in its tenth season and with over 1 billion views under its belt, I am afraid that it has ensnared literally millions of people into its diabolical ways.

    The series, which uses a form of animation based on the Halo Series, is set in a future where humanity has conquered most of space (which we all know is a scientific plot to waste our tax dollars money on frivolous endeavors such as NASA!). The series is about the adventures and misadventures of two distinct groups of soldiers which make up the "Red team" and "Blue team" which often fight each other, or have quests which are nonsensical and do not express the glory of God. The main ensemble of characters are: Sarge, Church, Simmons, Tucker, Grif, Tex, Lopez, Caboose, and Donut. Each one of these characters have actively gone against their God and made a pact with the devil.

    Since no True Christian™ should ever watch the show except for pure research, this thread will contain spoilers.


    1. Sarge
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    Sarge is the leader of the Red team. He is a gruff solider with a non-nonsense attitude who at first glance holds a deep reverence for God in the same way that we here at Landover do. He is observant and believes heavily in the afterlife. While these may, at face value, put him in the realm of being a True Christian™, he does some very questionable actions which lead me to believe he is not True Christian™ material.

    First, Sarge is an ardent defender of that cult that has ensnared many brilliant minds, Science. Sarge has a penchant for creating scientific marvels. He built a robot for their team, Lopez, and has not done his best to teach it the ways of God! Secondly, like all members of Red vs. Blue, he wears a composite armor made of a biological and technological hodgepodge. As we know in Deuteronomy 22:11 "Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together". He does not even seem to be repentant of the fact he is wearing mixed fabric! Finally, Sarge is a fine leader of men who allows a homersexual, Donut, on his team!

    2. Church
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    Church is the de-facto leader of the Blue Team. He became the leader after murdering his former leader, which violates Exodus 20:13 "Thou shalt not kill". He is an arrogant, self-obsessed, person who has an obsessive compulsive need to follow his girlfriend, Tex, through multiple planes of existence.

    Church was accidentally killed early on in the series by Caboose. Church subsequently returns as what Church and the other members of the team believe to be as a Spirit. This is clearly instigating the believe in our children to practice the occult with Ouji boards and other such satanic rituals in order to bring their friends back to life! Why just the other day, a friend of mine found his daughter trying to summon her kitten back to life with an Ouija board. When my friend asked his daughter where she had gotten this idea from, she replied "I got the idea from Church". I was shocked and appalled that the creators of Red Vs. Blue would allow for such a fragrant disregard of Christian values!

    Church is later revealed to be an artificial intelligence unit. Being as he promulgated a lie for at least five years, it is no wonder that he ought not to be trusted and if he had a soul would be damned to Hell!

    3.Simmons
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    Simmons is the second in command at Red Team. He is an intelligent nerd who often seeks the approval of Sarge. Simmons is also the gay lover of Grif.

    Simmons's relationship with Grif is a complicated one but clearly one that promotes homosexuality in children. Simmons and Grif often bicker like some secular or Joo married couples do, but they are obviously living their deviant lifestyle. This deviant lifestyle that they are promoting already had one victim within the show, Donut, who was an impressionable young rookie when he joined Red Team, but is now a homosexual. I fear for how many children they have turned homo.

    Simons is also part cyborg. He willingly had his God given parts taken out and systematically replaced with synthetic parts. Simmons is therefore doubly guilty of violating Deuteronomy 22:21, since he also has the biomechanical armor that Sarge and all the other characters also have.

    4. Tucker
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    Tucker is by far the most satanic of all the characters on Red vs. Blue. In the series I counted no more than three hundred violations of the Holy Bible that Tucker is either committing or complacent in committing. Obviously, I will not go over all of them, but rather over the most heinous.

    Tucker is technically the leader of the Blue team, but because of his racial inferiority (more on this later), no one views him as the leader. He is an oversexed nigra whose only care in the world is of pleasuring himself or others.

    Tucker is the only nigra character on the show. This is clearly his first strike against him. He can often be heard saying some sort of incomprehensible words or imitating the tribal drum beats of his native land, “bow chica bow wow”. On top of that it appears he has an unusual sexual appetite that includes in no certain order, a rock, an alien, and a white woman. Tucker’s nigra prowess (and white’s subsequent demonization) by showing that he is the only one who can use a special sword. This sort of racial inequality should not be allowed on the Internet! He also appears to have a certain affinity towards enhancing the jeep the teams often use to get around. Typical nigra!

    As mentioned, Tucker also has an unusual sexual appetite, which includes masturbation, having sex with a rock, sex with an alien, and attempting to have sex with a white woman. He has not been smote for any of these nor has he seemed to had any sort of punishment. Not even ridicule within the show! The only redeeming quality within Tucker is the fact that he seems to regard women as their rightful place, as subservient to men.

    5. Grif
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    Grif is the least liked team member on Red Team (by Sarge). He is a lazy good for nothing who will often shirk his duties in order to find Oreos.

    Grif’s laziness is in clear violation of Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” As previously mentioned, Grif is also carrying on a clearly homosexual relationship with Simmons to which they both seem unrepentant.

    6. Tex
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    Tex is the only main female character on the show. She also happens to be the most militarily minded. Out of all the Red and Blue team members, she has the most training and the capacity to inflict untold amounts of violence. She is also Church’s girlfriend.

    Tex is unlike many women in the fact that she believes herself to be better than most men. She often berates the members of Team Blue and has fought many of them (and even bested them!). Rather than being content in the kitchen, as women should, it appears that Tex desires to be one of the guys. Even to the point where she comes off as a lesbo and possible a whore.

    What the creators of Red vs. Blue do not tell you about Tex is that, since she is a woman outside the home, she is very unhappy and will never find a man who wants her. Instead she will be disregarded to a life of flannel where she must console other women who were too ugly or too independent minded to find a husband.

    7. Lopez
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    Lopez is a robot that was created by Sarge. While technically free from sin (since he possesses no soul), Lopez does have some problems with his character. First off, Lopez promulgates science over religion in the sense that he exists. Rather than relying upon God to give life, Sarge created his own. If this is not a sin I do not know what is! Secondly, Lopez is a Mexican. Clearly this does not sit well with the mainstream America.

    8.Caboose
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    Caboose is the newest member of Blue Team. He is a fine upstanding young man who appears to be the most intelligent of all the blue members. Caboose’s intelligence stems from the fact that he will take almost everything literally. I feel that if Caboose were exposed to the Bible he would be a True Christian™ if there ever was one. In short, I like Caboose.

    9.Donut
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    Finally, there is Donut. Donut is the most recent team member to join Red Team. He is a free-spirited young man who often engages in homoerotic behavior. Donut is the only overt homo character in Red vs. Blue. He often makes crude jokes which good Christian ears should never be told. He also often tries to trick the other members of Red Team into engaging in homosexual acts with him. To my surprise none of them have fallen for his devious homo ways! In some ways I hope Donut will see the error of his ways and become an ex-gay soon


    In short, the creators of Red vs. Blue ought to be ashamed of themselves. They promulgate a deviant lifestyle in almost every episode. I would behoove all True Christians™ to boycott not only Red vs. Blue, but any means of delivering this vile spawn of Satan that encourages our youth to worship the Devil, engage in Homosexual behavior, and beastiality!
    Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

    Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

  • #2
    Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

    Too many characters. I can't keep track of them all.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

      Yes, there are quite a few characters but very few with redeeming qualities. The only possible exemption would be Caboose. It is because the characters live such a demonic lifestyle that we ought to boycott Red vs. Blue.
      Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

      Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

        I have heard of the satanic video game behind this show. You fight aliens in it, yet they're fighting for their god and you are a heathen marine. Granted their religion is fake and stupid, but isn't it worse to be fighting those who are religious?

        I recommend we send the company behind the game a strongly worded letter asking them to bring the aliens and the marines to the true faith.

        YIC
        THIS PLACE RESERVED FOR SCRIPTURE!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

          Hey...Hey guess what? Every Christian on this forum is a piffleING cooter!!!!!!!!!! WHO piffleING CARES IF I BURN IN HELL?? AT LEAST IT'LL BE DESERVED!!!!!!!!!
          Last edited by Billy Bob Jenkins; 07-24-2012, 01:13 AM.
          1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.
          23:Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

            Originally posted by buddhalover View Post
            Hey...Hey guess what?
            Hello friend, welcome to friendliest forum of all internet, to God's favorite forum.
            Why are you hellbound heathens always so angry and full of hatred? You really should accept love of Jesus in your black and withered heathen heart.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

              If anyone is a cooter, it's YOU.

              Instead of coming to a friendly Christian website and spewing your hatred, why not go down the street and shout your profanities?

              Oh, I know why: because you are a nut-less cowardly bucket of warm piss.

              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                So you wish to force your beliefs onto people saying they are wrong based off a book and saying a stupid web series is being controlled by saitan who do you think you are you cannot tell people what to believe because you believe in it that is why people go against you because you are forcing things onto people and saying pure entertainment is saitans work you guys call these characters arrogant. Secondly without science in one way or another you would have the building that you hold your beloved church in how do you think people descovered the stuff shat it out no the experimented with different materials how has medicine come about but science you ignorant fools, i have attended church for many years but have never met anyone as single minded as you all you are the lowest of low thinking you have the right to tell people what to do and believe telling people what to watch and dammit its all about loving one another not fighting embrace each other "do unto others as you would have done to you" if you fight against people they will fight back read your own bible that you are apparently preaching from. Then you say Caboose is the most intelligent you are Caboose my friend he is portrayed as a moron he doesn't take things literally he takes thing in half value not understanding the full sentence that he has been told o and finally from my bible
                Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
                Through passion, I gain strength.
                Through strength, I gain power.
                Through power, I gain victory.
                Through victory, my chains are broken.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                  Originally posted by RvBlover View Post
                  thinking you have the right to tell people what to do
                  Was it a catholic church, dear, that you attended? That would explain your utter ignorance of Holy Scripture.
                  Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
                  Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
                  Matthew 28:19-20

                  We do not have the right, we have the responsibility, the divine command to teach all people what the LORD says.

                  Originally posted by RvBlover View Post
                  dammit its all about loving one another not fighting embrace each other "do unto others as you would have done to you"
                  Are you so sure?
                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                    Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                    Was it a catholic church, dear, that you attended? That would explain your utter ignorance of Holy Scripture.
                    dear i went to both anglican and uniting ive known catholic baptist all of them i know many people and none are as stupid and as ignorant as you you should not force your beliefs onto people it is a different world to 2000 years ago have you looked outside the window there are now cars with four wheels and an engine o wait thats satanic because it isn't powered by a damned halo. You may have the "responsibility" to do whatever it is you do but others do not have to follow i will quote my favourite line ever "You can argue miracles or molecules, me i'm going to be sitting on a beach enjoying the sunset not looking for answers just enjoying life and being happy" and ill add to that "surrounded by friends and family no matter what they believe in because that is more important than anything friends and family are the ones that get you through things. In a way you understand God sent them as a message to you to help you through whatever but none the less you are all ignorant stupid fools and o right finally from a little band called Disturbed

                    Run you little bitch
                    I want your power glowing, juicy flowing, red hot, meaning of life
                    It's not enough to have a little taste
                    I want the whole damn thing now
                    Can you dig it?
                    Need to get psycho
                    wanna hear you say it
                    say, you want it, need it
                    Don't wanna wait until we finish the show
                    It's not enough, you hunger for more
                    You're one twisted little piffle
                    And now you wanna get psycho with me

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                      i am also highly offended by your autism the new gay link i have worked with kids that have autism i now work with a guy who kid is autistic that is just wrong ma'am im sorry but you are stupid for believing that that is highly offensive not for me but for the parents who's children are affected by autism that is pure stupidity people like you make this world a worse place to live in

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                        Originally posted by RvBlover View Post
                        i am also highly offended by your autism the new gay link i have worked with kids that have autism i now work with a guy who kid is autistic that is just wrong ma'am im sorry but you are stupid for believing that that is highly offensive not for me but for the parents who's children are affected by autism that is pure stupidity people like you make this world a worse place to live in
                        If you'd read the actual post, rather than get offended at the title, it will be explained to you.

                        God Bless you.

                        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                          Originally posted by RvBlower View Post
                          So you wish to force your beliefs onto people saying they are wrong based off a book and saying a stupid web series is being controlled by saitan
                          Saitan? Not sure what that is. Did you mean "seitan"?


                          These "ribz" are wheat-based fake meat, called "seitan".

                          I always knew veganism was a conspiracy to gain control over society and turn us all into Communist atheist whores. Thank you for confirming my suspicions.
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                            Okay, after reading this post I've noticed something.

                            As a member of this site, it is a requirement that you are not to post any messages that are deemed hateful, and after reading this, I believe that it is.

                            Listen, Ouija boards have never been mentioned in the series, nor has it been in any underlying messages. And, if you pay attention, the character Church isn't even a ghost, so your argument is invalid.

                            Now, a big problem that I've also had here is the racist comments against the character, Tucker. Tucker was a strong and independent character who, in the series, is the only one able to use his sword. This is not a sign of racial inequality, but it was done purely by chance.

                            As well as the two previously mentioned characters, Tex has also seemed to struck a chord with me. It is said that the creators don't reveal that she's unhappy or unable to find a man. In all reality, this is quite the opposite. She is known as Church's Girlfriend, and what can be seen through the seasons is that they actually do love each other.

                            I have found this whole post rather offensive and, as a fan of this series and a christian, I see nothing in Red vs Blue that will threaten our children. By writing this hate, you are also going against the word of god, and I believe that you should stop this.

                            Plus, I believe it's god's job to decide what's right and what's not, not ours. I'd rather let him decide about Red vs Blue than people who are willing to actively insult homosexuals and people of different races. We're all equal in god's eyes, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for thinking differently.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Red vs. Blue: Satan's attempt to Control our Children!

                              Originally posted by FreelancerAgentNorth View Post
                              ...As a member of this site, it is a requirement that you are not to post any messages that are deemed hateful, and after reading this, I believe that it is....
                              Your opinion will be duly ignored, until you quote Scripture in support.

                              ...By writing this hate, you are also going against the word of god, and I believe that you should stop this...
                              See above.

                              ...Plus, I believe it's god's job to decide what's right and what's not, not ours...
                              You're right. Fortunately, He's already told us what He thinks is right and wrong. It's called the Bible. You should read it sometime.

                              ...We're all equal in god's eyes...
                              Scripture? Or are you (like so many others) confusing the contents of the Constitution and the Bible?

                              ... and you should be ashamed of yourselves for thinking differently.
                              No, it's YOU who should be ashamed for thinking you know better than God.

                              Please note: I don't really believe any of the shit I just spouted (I'm atheist), but as a Christian, you do (or you should, if you take your salvation seriously).

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