Outside Beauty

[Mary O'Bryan Thorne]

Getting on in years and being a widow, I long for the discipline that my late husband bestowed on me and for the honor of serving a Good Christian husband. But alas, even though I am an excellent cook, am rekowned for my peach pie and clean as though I am trying to rid the devil from my home, I fear that I don't know how to attract the proper type of man. I know that a good Christian man will see below the surface, but you only get one chance to make a good first impression and I fear my outside beauty is fading a bit. Now I am not a vain person - vanity is a sin, but I just might need an extra edge to help find a good Christian man.

At my age, I seem to attract the younger men that only use me for my pie. They say they're Christians, but I certainly have my doubts. And it seems that so many good Christian men of my age are dying off in droves.

I have prayed to The Good Lord to help me in my endeavors and I admit, I have asked that he lift me up in certain areas but I feel the devil creeping inside and he is chipping away at my patience. Would it be a sin to have just a little surgical lift and tuck here and there since this would be done ONLY to achieve my endeavors to once again be a good Christian wife?

Thank you, in advance, for your advice.

Mary

[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Outside Beauty

Sister, we are all created in the image of God. That means we are ALL beautiful. It's true. There is not a single ugly person in the world, and that includes you. You are just as beautiful as the top movie stars and runway models, and so are decrepit old toothless homeless men wallowing in their own filth.

[confedchick]

Re: Outside Beauty

attract the younger men that only use me for my pie.

Sister Mary -
I know waiting for a good Christian husband can be so nerve wracking at times (I mean - I'm 36 and never married yet!!). Patience is a virtue and I feel if you just hold on, something witll come your way. I would suggest if I may - to hold off on offering your pie so quickly. If these younger men don't know how good it is, they are more likely to look at what other offerings you may have and then you can use your pie as rewards for those with staying power.
It's a horrible feeling - that of being used. I doubt this is the case in your situation but if you suspect it, eliminate the variable and keep your pie in the pantry.

[Mary O'Bryan Thorne]

Re: Outside Beauty

Well thank you for the compliment. But I'm afraid it's been many years since I've been created and you know what time and gravity does to one. It's been several years since I woke up and realized that satan crept into my room as I was sleeping and stole my good parts. I guess he figured it was a joke to replace them with inferior parts. That wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that he must not have had a rule and a level - he put the inferior parts several inches lower than where the good parts had been.

And I certainly don't want one of those heathen run way model type husbands nor a deranged savage living on the streets!

[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Outside Beauty

You don't have to take them as your husband, I am merely saying you are all of equal physical attraction.

See, some might say these one of these people is more attractive then the other, but I consider that blasphemy. All are created in the image of God. We must say they are equally attractive.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Outside Beauty

Would that rule apply to a succubus ??


And if it does, what is the point in the existence of succubi ??

[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Outside Beauty

I'm sorry, I don't believe in succubi. They are mentioned nowhere in the Bible.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Outside Beauty

Getting on in years and being a widow, I long for the discipline that my late husband bestowed on me and for the honor of serving a Good Christian husband. But alas, even though I am an excellent cook, am rekowned for my peach pie and clean as though I am trying to rid the devil from my home, I fear that I don't know how to attract the proper type of man. I know that a good Christian man will see below the surface, but you only get one chance to make a good first impression and I fear my outside beauty is fading a bit. Now I am not a vain person - vanity is a sin, but I just might need an extra edge to help find a good Christian man.

At my age, I seem to attract the younger men that only use me for my pie. They say they're Christians, but I certainly have my doubts. And it seems that so many good Christian men of my age are dying off in droves.

I have prayed to The Good Lord to help me in my endeavors and I admit, I have asked that he lift me up in certain areas but I feel the devil creeping inside and he is chipping away at my patience. Would it be a sin to have just a little surgical lift and tuck here and there since this would be done ONLY to achieve my endeavors to once again be a good Christian wife?

Thank you, in advance, for your advice.

Mary

I am a True Christian man of years fewer, but not many, than yours. I find you to be comely and to hold solid Christian values. While secular law prohibits me from being married to more than one woman, the law is less clear on concubines.

While you may be concerned that your assets may have dwindled in value, rest assured that I am fully capable of gathering up your assets and delighting in their fullness.

Would you consider becoming my concubine? My wife is a True Christian and understands that I am entitled to a concubine if I so desire.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Mary O'Bryan Thorne]

Re: Outside Beauty

I am a True Christian man of years fewer, but not many, than yours. I find you to be comely and to hold solid Christian values. While secular law prohibits me from being married to more than one woman, the law is less clear on concubines.

While you may be concerned that your assets may have dwindled in value, rest assured that I am fully capable of gathering up your assets and delighting in their fullness.

Would you consider becoming my concubine? My wife is a True Christian and understands that I am entitled to a concubine if I so desire.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Oh, deary me! Brother Lazarus, I am blushing from your compliment and I am honored by your offer. This sounds as though it could be a win-win-win situation for you, your wife and myself. However; I'm afraid that my not yet being a True Christian™, I would need some intensive counseling with Pastor Ezekiel. I would think that you would need to attend the counseling sessions as well. I certainly would want all of my issues to be addressed by both of you.

Mary

[Bryan Tamariki]

Re: Outside Beauty

Dwell not on earthly beauty, which can fade away, but instead meditate upon the beauty of Our Lord Jesus Christ, as described in Isaiah 4:2

In that day shall the branch of the LORD be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the earth shall be excellent and comely for them that are escaped of Israel.

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Re: Outside Beauty

Sometimes outside beauty needs a little help:

[Mary O'Bryan Thorne]

Re: Outside Beauty

Mr. Eldrich! I find it appalling that you come to this Christian Forum to promote child pornography. You obviously drugged that young girl to get her do perform such vile acts. May your pedophile soul burn in hell!

Mary

[ArcaneAnna]

Re: Outside Beauty

True beauty may be on the INSIDE.

But when you meet someone and judge them, that happens
according to how they are on the OUTSIDE.

Someone who has frizzy hair, crap skin etc...
to me that just shows that they don't look after
themselfs, and take no pride in what they have.

Someone who looks god, glows and therefore is more beautiful!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Outside Beauty

Oh, deary me! Brother Lazarus, I am blushing from your compliment and I am honored by your offer. This sounds as though it could be a win-win-win situation for you, your wife and myself. However; I'm afraid that my not yet being a True Christian™, I would need some intensive counseling with Pastor Ezekiel. I would think that you would need to attend the counseling sessions as well. I certainly would want all of my issues to be addressed by both of you.

Mary

I am smitten by your comeliness. I would be glad to team up with Pastor Zeke to counsel you about your issues. Hopefully you will soon be a True Christian.

I am honored by your consideration of my offer of concubinage.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Outside Beauty

Sister, we are all created in the image of God. That means we are ALL beautiful. It's true. There is not a single ugly person in the world, and that includes you. You are just as beautiful as the top movie stars and runway models, and so are decrepit old toothless homeless men wallowing in their own filth.

Well you ain't never seen LeVitra. Lawd know he done made one of da ugliest chile any-body ever did see. She ain't so hot on da inside, neither.