Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I am fed up with all the environMENTAL wackos forcing their inflexible rules on Godly American entrepreneurs and land owners. They moan and chant and paint their faces like idiots and demand that we "save" every varmint on earth. It makes me sick!

The only thing that needs saving is YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL! And JESUS does that with the Grace of His Blood. We don't need fascistic laws prohibiting us from bulldozing wetlands because some polka-dotted snail lives there, we need MORE STRIP MALLS!

God Almighty gave Mankind dominion over all the land, plants and beasts of the earth. None of them need to be saved, they need to be subdivided and sold!

And anyway, what do these commies want to save whales for? Don't they know what vicious monsters they are? Don't they realize that for every animal they offer special rights to, they only encourage the sodomites to demand the same speacil rights for their perverted lifestyle?

Jesus Christ does all the saving I need. The rest is meat for my sandwich.

[Nobar King]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

The killer whale is not actually a whale, it is a dolphin.

From Wikipedia:
The Orca or Killer Whale (Orcinus orca), less commonly, Blackfish or Seawolf, is the largest species of the oceanic dolphin family (Delphinidae). It is found in all the world's oceans, from the frigid Arctic and Antarctic regions to warm, tropical seas.

Just because they kill 'cute' defensless prey in sight of humans does not mean that they have no redeeming qualities:

Orcas are highly social; some populations are composed of matrilineal family groups which are the most stable of any animal species. The sophisticated social behaviour, hunting techniques, and vocal behaviour of Orcas have been described as manifestations of culture.

Supporters of the original name point out that the naming heritage is not limited to Spanish sailors. Indeed the genus name "Orcinus" means "from Hell" (see Orcus), and although the name "Orca" (in use since antiquity) is probably not etymologically related, the assonance might have given some people the idea that it meant "whale that brings death," or "demon from hell."

This last quote is the most pressing evidence that all orcas should be exterminated from the oceans. Obviously any seagoing christian sailor should be expected to kill on sight any orca he sees. That would lead to overpopulation of seals which could be converted to nice rugs or furry ipod cases.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

Amen, Brother!

And anyway, what do these commies want to save whales for? Don't they know what vicious monsters they are?

If that video isn't air-tight proof that whales are members of the shark kind, I don't know what is. Where is that "whales don't have scales" atheist lunkhead, the guy who thought cats evolved from catfish? This video might be exactly what it takes to get him saved.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

I could have seen things from the whale's perspective if it had killed those seal the proper way, by clubbing them when they're babies. But ripping them all up like that? What a waste of fur.

I say it's time to bring whalebone corsets back into style.



Warner's 608.
Whalebone Hip.
13-inch clasp.
Five hooks.
Sizes, 18 to 30 in.

Made of coutille, with sateen strips; black made
of sateen throughout. The admirable feature
of this corset is found in the hip section, which
is of coutille with an interlining of haircloth.
This section is quilted and braced either side by
genuine whalebone. The peculiar placing of
the whalebone makes the corset unbreakable
at the sides; flossed with silk and trimmed
with silk embroidery. White, drab and black.

Of course, since women will be doing the Lord's work once we've re-established Biblical Law, they'll spend most of their time wearing the pregnant corset:

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

As if this "save the whales" crap wasn't ridiculous enough, now there is a big liberal brouhaha over a couple of CLAMS. Seriously, clams! You can't make this stuff up. This might be a problem if the things made good eatin', but God has declared them an abomination so I can't imagine what all the fuss is about.

I say let 'em die so we can make room for juicy, delicious fish like the Nile Perch. Yum! Now there's an animal worth saving.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

I say it's time to bring whalebone corsets back into style.

Of course, since women will be doing the Lord's work once we've re-established Biblical Law, they'll spend most of their time wearing the pregnant corset

Gosh, these corsets are really nice, Brother Jeb! A Godly use of whalebone indeed!

Those were the good old days, when women looked like ladies. I'm sure Jesus would approve.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

You've reached a new low, here, Zeke...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

You've reached a new low, here, Zeke...

I suppose that you and your band of perverts wants Congress to pass new laws allowing humans to marry these monstrous whale beasts. First queer marriage, now this? You God mocking sinners never seem to reach bottom.

Sometimes, late at night, I shudder when I try and imagine in detail the kinds of atrocities you heathen degenerates are planning next.

[lord warrior]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

Well Pastor Ezekiel, most whales feed by getting a mouthful of "little fish" and then swallowing. Maybe the gay boys are just confused or think there trying to protect there own kind.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Still Want To Save The Whales, Hippie?

The killer whale is not actually a whale, it is a dolphin.

A fish is a fish is a fish. That's all you need to know, unless it doesn't have scales, in which case you also need to know that GOD hates it.