The Green Bible

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Friends and fellow Christians, the next time you are considering a bathroom remodeling you might want to consider the ancient Roman practice of owning a vomitoria. It's times like this that I would rather attempt to eat that vile Hawaiian food known as Poi than talk about this new abomination called the "Green Bible".

Printed on recycled paper with soy ink, you can presumably make tofu out of it in a pinch. Replete with a "Bible" trail guide, it is endorsed by the Sierra Club. Indeed the LIEbrals are at it again, distorting the Word of God.

http://greenletterbible.com/

There is only one thing you need to know about the Bible (KJV1611) and "environmentalism":

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
- Genesis 1:26

Here are some trail mix hippie tree huggers fawning over this "Green Bible" heresy:

Here is some old hag "theologian" at Duke University proclaiming this latest blasphemy:

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: The Green Bible

This Bible is going to be printed on recycled paper? I don't like that one bit. Maybe the paper that these false Bibles are being printed on were previously Planned Parenthood pamphlets or sticky porno magazines.

I would prefer it if my Bible were printed on paper made from a Giant Sequoia or Redwood tree. Some of those trees have been around since the birth of Jesus Christ, so it seems justified to cut them down and turn them into the Good Word.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Green Bible

Here is some old hag "theologian" at Duke University proclaiming this latest blasphemy:

Jesus has stricken that witch with a horrible speech impediment, so mercifully most decent people won't understand a word she says.

I for one am shocked and disgusted at the never-ending parade of perversions that are being passed off as God's Holy Word these days. All the false Bibles were bad enough (NIV, NASV, NRSV, RSV, TLV, CEV, ISV and all the other perversions), but now they're printing up queer Bibles! Hippie Bibles! Jap Anime Bibles! Goth Bibles! The list is endless! And each one infuriates Jesus more than the last.

There is only one true Word of God, and that is the KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible, and it is to be followed literally, word-for-word, no matter what. My sermon on the subject is crystal clear!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: The Green Bible

I correctly guessed that Harper-Collins is the publisher before I clicked the link. These are the same people who publish the NIV, The Joy of Gay Sex, and The Satanic Bible.

Matt 7:18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

Matt 7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

I prefer a Bible whose copyright is not controlled by purveyors of filth.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Green Bible

It's times like this that I would rather attempt to eat that vile Hawaiian food known as Poi than talk about this new abomination called the "Green Bible".

I shall not bother to educate you in the wholesomeness and proper production of poi, which is quite good when made from the upland (dry) variety of Kalo.

The Green Bible however, is an insult to GOD and all His creations. They spew that the Bible contains 1,000 references to earth, but they don't explain that most of them involve killing something. They also neglect to mention the ten thousand or so references to slaughtering animals for sacrifice, even though the "GB" is produced in conjunction with....THE HUMANE SOCIETY!

Then they think so little of GOD that His word is to be printed on RECYCLED paper, with all of the FEEL-GOOD passages printed in Leprechaun green and the rest, presumably, in rainbow colors.

It's not even the REAL KJV Bible. It's now called the "NEW REVISED STANDARD VERSION" and my question is this: WHO DARES "REVISE" THE BIBLE? It says right inside not to do that.

So if anyone can just go around revising the Bible with crayons and a lime green Hi-Liter, it can't be the Bible anymore.

This cannot be allowed. It is blasphemy and a money grab by JOOS. Has anyone ever seen a New Revised Standard Torah printed in green? Certainly not!

[BrotherBill]

Re: The Green Bible

Why would these heathens want to create a Bible that naturally breaks down?! Each Bible should, ideally, be made to last until the end of time, even after He has returned for us humans. Those hippies need to leave the word of God alone.