Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

[Old Man Hatchet]

Yesterday I was compelled to rifle through my daughter's dresser drawers--the Holy Spirit surely guided me--and I made a revolting discovery. She was in possession of a book entitled The Complete Kama Sutra. I presumed it to be an Indian recipe book. Upon thumbing through its pages, I was assaulted by something even more sickening than Indian cuisine--Indian coitus.

Apparently, those dark-skinned, foul-smelling heathens have invented a multitude of ways to copulate. Observe the following picture:



I have stretched my imagination to the limit, and I still cannot comprehend how these two can be engaging in intercourse. Shockingly, this picture was among the more reasonable in the book. The Indians are a vile--albeit limber--race. They are obviously in cahoots with Satan to be capable of such contortion.

Naturally I beat my daughter for being in possession of a book that is more than likely the brainchild of Satan himself.

"What I do in my bedroom is my business, " she screamed. "I'm a married lady."

"No. You're a married trollop," I retorted. "A married lady lies on her back, with her legs spread at no more than a seventy degree angle, to receive her good husband's member for the purpose of creating more Christians."

Gentlemen, don't allow your wives to persuade you to "spice things up between the sheets." Here is a list of acceptable positions:

1. Missionary

Praise Jesus.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE CONTAINED WITHIN)

I sincerely hope the ladies are staying out of this thread. Gentlemen, this picture fills me with righteous indignation:



The depraved Indian man is actually creating a new orifice with his filthy tallywacker, as if other apertures can no longer quell his lust. Insatiable beast!

[TORTURED MIDGET CUM]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

that woman is a man! LOOK AT THAT MOUSTACHE!!!!!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

that woman is a man! LOOK AT THAT MOUSTACHE!!!!!

That may be a man; however, many Indian women are mustachioed, so it is difficult to ascertain. What is certain is that you are a childish imbecile. Do you expect anyone here to view you as anything other than a cretin when you have such a sophomoric name? I advise you to choose your next words carefully.

[Mr. Jingles]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

It should be no suprise to anyone that a bunch of pagans would recommend using non-missionary positions. Next thing, we men will be expected to care about our wives sexual needs-what blasphemy.

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Hinduism has a whole passle of gods, so I suppose it's not surprising that Hindus use a whole passle of positions.

Excess taken to excess, I call it.

This is the kind of thing they have in their churches:



Can you imagine looking up from your devotions and seeing, instead of the Hung Savior, four people doing something that would make King Solomon blush?

But as for them whose heart walketh after the heart of their detestable things and their abominations, I will recompense their way upon their own heads, saith the Lord GOD. Ezekiel 7:21

Disgusting.

~~ OEJ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Brother, I was with you giving your harlot of a daughter a sound Godly beating for possessing an injun cookbook! What possible use would any Christian have for such a tome?

Of course it turned out to be much worse. You may want to send her over to my residence after Sunday services Brother Hatchet. I'd like to get something straight with her.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

I have stretched my imagination to the limit, and I still cannot comprehend how these two can be engaging in intercourse. Shockingly, this picture was among the most reasonable in the book. The Indians are a vile--albeit limber--race. They are obviously in cahoots with Satan to be capable of such contortion.

Considering that the illustration is right in front of you, I don't see how it's so hard to 'imagine'.

What's more, how is your daughter's sex life any of your concern? As she said, she's a married lady. Even you shouldn't have a problem with that.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Considering that the illustration is right in front of you, I don't see how it's so hard to 'imagine'.

What's more, how is your daughter's sex life any of your concern? As she said, she's a married lady. Even you shouldn't have a problem with that.

I literally cannot make heads or tails of this drawing. I don't know where one putrid Indian begins and the other ends. It looks like a disgusting, unsavory pile of human flesh. Unlike you, I am not accustomed to viewing pornography. NEVER question anything I write again, harlot. And my daughter's sex life IS my business. As my daughter, she is my responsibility. I will thrash her again without hesitation if she so much as applies too much eye liner. Any woman should be so lucky to have a loving and caring father like me.

[Marshall]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Holy Jesus.
This thread makes me want to puke on my boots. There is no way that book would be near my house! Brother Hatchet I hope she is still wearing red welts on her tender backside for dishonoring herself and her family with that filthy sex manual.
The more I look at those images, the more I understand that Hindus must have extra orifices that proper white folks don't have. A second hole above the regular rear fecal opening. This must be where Satan ripped them a new one for worshiping elephants and spider women.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

The more I look at those images, the more I understand that Hindus must have extra orifices that proper white folks don't have. A second hole above the regular rear fecal opening. This must be where Satan ripped them a new one for worshiping elephants and spider women.

Excellent point, good Brother Marshall, and wholly possible. After all, it is a fact that female Orientals have sideways cooters. Who knows what other kinds of unholy anomalies exist among non-whites? I praise Jesus for my northern European heritage and completely normal private parts.

[Jack Flash]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Excellent point, good Brother Marshall, and it is a fact that female Orientals have sideways cooters.

Erm....no they don't.

I like this thread, it's clearly for dirty old christian men to pretend they're outraged by different sexual positions, whilst all the while beating off and wishing their wives would let them try something half as decent.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Erm....no they don't.

I like this thread, it's clearly for dirty old christian men to pretend they're outraged by different sexual positions, whilst all the while beating off and wishing their wives would let them try something half as decent.

Since my wife has gone through menopause and can longer produce Christian offspring for me, I no longer have sex with her. Your lurid suggestion is way off the mark and has been reported to the Department of Faith.

The only "kinky" thing the wife and I ever did in the bedroom was enage in threesomes--Jesus having been the third party. Jesus comes with me, young man, wherever I go. Can you say the same?

And Oriental women do have sideways cooters. Try not to rely on hearsay and conjecture. They won't help you win any arguments on this board.

[lord warrior]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE CONTAINED WITHIN)

I sincerely hope the ladies are staying out of this thread. Gentlemen, this picture fills me with righteous indignation:



The depraved Indian man is actually creating a new orifice with his filthy tallywacker, as if other apertures can no longer quell his lust. Insatiable beast!

Obviously the first homer porn shot in India. They do like there little boys over there.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN)

Considering that the illustration is right in front of you, I don't see how it's so hard to 'imagine'.

What's more, how is your daughter's sex life any of your concern? As she said, she's a married lady. Even you shouldn't have a problem with that.

Excuse me Van Hellywhacker, but those strap-on brooms don't count here - this is a MEN ONLY forum. I'm sure those images of mangled human flesh remind you of what you cook up in your stock pot, but it is time for you to leave.