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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552

    #1

    Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

    THIS is what I've been talking about from the pulpit for so long. The Methodists pose as quiet, peaceful types, but in fact they are a cult of false Christians bent on turning the world into queers, thus condemning them to hell.

    Tiny Fijian island bans pants on Sundays

    Men living on a tiny Fijian island have been ordered to wear a skirt instead of trousers on Sundays to avoid offending God.

    The Methodist Church on Bua island has ruled that men must wear the traditional island sarong, called a sulu, on Sundays to learn to respect the significance of the holy day.

    Families cannot travel on any motorised transport or do any form of work, including hanging out clothes to dry, until they get the message, Galoa Village headman Josefa Baleinasiga has told the Fiji Times newspaper.

    "The ban is meant to bring good luck to the island as we respect the day of the Lord," he said.

    "You can see that often misfortune befalls us because we don't respect His commandments that there be no work performed on Sunday except worship."

    He said that since the ruling was made, clothes lines on the island had become full on Saturdays and people had stopped travelling offshore in boats fixed with outboards.

    "But we make exceptions during emergencies for the sick so it's not a ban that hasn't been well thought out," Mr Baleinasiga told the newspaper.
    But it hasn't been a hit with everyone.

    A villager who wished not to be named said the ban was "too restrictive".

    "We can't understand how wearing a sulu vakataga on Sunday will help us forge closer relations with the divine," he said.

    "At times too for the school children who come home for the weekend, the best time to return to their hostel in Labasa or Savusavu is on Sunday - so that is getting in the way."
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Eight or Better
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Aug 2009
    • 31

    #2
    Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    The Methodists pose as quiet, peaceful types, but in fact they are a cult of false Christians bent on turning the world into queers, thus condemning them to hell.
    Exactly. Those under-handed Methodist manipulators taking advantage of those poor colored native folk and their susceptibility to superstition. And skirt wearing no less! Next they'll be making them wear make-up and nail polish to ward off evil spirits.
    Proverbs 27:15
    A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

    Comment

    • HTannor
      America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2009
      • 2612

      #3
      Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

      This must be stopped!

      First we have Bua islanders turning queer one day a week. You just know that those sneaky Methodists will expand the queerness to two days a week. Then three days, and so on.

      Next they'll go preaching on another nearby island spreading their homer message. Then the next island falls, and then the next.

      Before we know it the whole south pacific region will be crawling with queers.




      On the other hand, there may be a couple of upsides to this abomination.

      1. Maybe all the fags here in the US will see the south pacific as queer heaven and start moving there.

      2. Before seeing the light, I often read National Geographic magazine and carefully studied the articles featuring those shameless island women running around with their tantilizingly beautiful, round, brown tits hanging out unclothed. If our US queers immigrated there, perhaps they'll get all worked up over this and become cured of their queerness.
      The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

      "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

      Comment

      • Pastor Isaac Peters
        Senior Pastor
        Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
        Always Biblically correct
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 10639

        #4
        Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

        This is the slippery slope down which liberal Christianity sends you. One moment, you're saying that Biblical morality needs to be "interpreted correctly," and the next, you're forcing men to wear dresses (named after that sodomite character in Star Dreck, no less).
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

        sigpic

        Comment

        • Nobar King
          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
          Christ's Guardian
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2007
          • 23748

          #5
          Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

          They're lucky they have any clothes to wear at all!
          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

          Comment

          • Oakland "Reb" Griner
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2009
            • 2241

            #6
            Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

            Good point.

            Some of these 3rd world abominations are just ghastly. Clothing, food, sanitation, King James Bibles, all the accouterments of civilization can be in very short supply.
            Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996

              #7
              Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

              They make exceptions in emergencies, when someone is sick.

              So, that means that it's OK to ignore God's commands when it's inconvenient, instead of praying for aid instead?

              Do the firemen and paramedics work on Sundays? Are their souls expendable?
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • Pastor Isaac Peters
                Senior Pastor
                Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                Always Biblically correct
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 10639

                #8
                Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                They make exceptions in emergencies, when someone is sick.

                So, that means that it's OK to ignore God's commands when it's inconvenient, instead of praying for aid instead?
                Good point, Rev. Rodimer. You don't follow God's Law except when you're sick; in fact, if you follow God's Law, you won't get sick:

                Exodus 23:25: And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.
                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                sigpic

                Comment

                • StarrKingGrad
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 161

                  #9
                  Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

                  You are misstating the position of the Methodist Church regarding homosexuality. Unfortunately, their faith tells them that "The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching." Social Principles 304.3, United Methodist Church.

                  Nevertheless, the Methodists are to be admired for their acceptance of all persons as having sacred worth. They do not deny basic kindness, Christian fellowship, human rights, or essential dignity to anyone on the grounds of sexual preference or otherwise, which I suppose is a mortal sin from your perspective. It is a far cry from the Hell that the Landover Baptist Church puts its homosexual members through--and though you'll no doubt deny it, I can assure you from my personal contacts that there ARE gays at Landover.
                  ...as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14 (emphasis mine)

                  Comment

                  • HTannor
                    America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 2612

                    #10
                    Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

                    Originally posted by StarrKingGrad View Post
                    ..........I can assure you from my personal contacts that there ARE gays at Landover.
                    Personal contacts, you say? Personal contacts? Does this mean you are a homer associating with other homers?

                    I suspect you are referring to those unwashed LBGT types that occasionally picket outside our gates. Hardly at Landover, more like trying to crash our community.

                    One hundred twenty seven posts and you are STILL Unsaved Trash. Why we even let you stay here is beyond me.

                    I have forwarded your post to Officer Richards to bring this to his attention. You won't like the attention he will start paying to you. His skills in enhanced interrogation techniques are to be feared.
                    The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                    "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78552

                      #11
                      Re: Methodists Force Tropical Men to Sin

                      There are only EX-gays at Landover Baptist Church. Brother Bobby Joe and I make sure of that.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

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