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  • #1

    Hello fellow Christians

    I am a satanist from communist-estonia. In communist-estonia we like vodka very mutch. Our fellow russians come here often and he we drink vodka and sacrifice virgin baptists to satan. Sometimes there may even be as many as 300 little virgins and you cant even imagin how satan loves them. This is why communist estonia and our brothers communist russia are such great countries! They are in fact the greatest countries in the world. Because satan>god.

    Also i seem not to understand why this emoji is up side down. I've put my friend yuri on the cross but not a cross like on this emoji, the cross on the emoji isnt like it supposed to be. You might want to fix that.

    Also, satan just told me that he will be waiting for all of you baptist in hell. Hes got a special place in the farthest corner in hell for you to suffer but estonians and russians will be drinking vodka with satan in hell. Eternal.
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  • #2
    Re: Hello fellow Christians

    Originally posted by 6sheep6street6house View Post
    tl:dr
    Hello friend!

    Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
    sigpic

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    • #3
      Re: Hello fellow Christians

      That is so amazingly shocking!





      Seriously, do you honestly think that you're the first trolltard who has tried to shock us like that?
      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

      Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Hello fellow Christians

        I do not recognize the word "trollard" and i am not here to shock you but only to tell the truth which you all know anyway.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello fellow Christians

          Originally posted by 6sheep6street6house View Post
          I do not recognize the word "trollard" and i am not here to shock you but only to tell the truth which you all know anyway.
          No, sweetie - it's T R O L L T A R D.
          Welcome to our friendly forums!

          I would like to tell you a story of a very lonely man. One day, this man woke up to realize he had wasted his life by neglecting the things of God. All of his life, he jeered and mocked the Most High in his words and actions. Despite the fact that God loved him and wanted to spend eternity with him, the man rejected the sacrifice of JESUS (did your eyes just burn?) and the fateful day came when JESUS (poke, poke) stepped his feet onto the Mount of Olives, ending the Battle of Armageddon and summarily crushing the devil's plans.

          LONELY MAN: But, Jesus, I thought you were, like, impotent and stuff compared to my lover satan.
          JESUS: LOL
          LONELY MAN: So, since you love me and stuff, please forgive my sins now that I know you are real.
          JESUS: GTFOOH
          LONELY MAN: But-but-
          JESUS: ROFL
          satan: Um, I didn't exactly say Jesus wasn't powerful and stuff, Lonely Man.
          LONELY MAN: Liar! Yes you did.
          satan: Well, it doesn't matter. You're coming with me now.

          Fade to Jesus pushing satan and the lonely man into the lake that burns with fire while all the saved point and laugh.

          This doesn't have to happen to you. However, the pathway you are on is one that guarantees eternal combustion and a severe lack of air conditioning in a place where the demons and fags and satan himself will pierce your unholy behind with their above-average sized copulatory contraptions. Forever. Over, and over, and over.

          Ouch.

          I plead the BLOOD OF JESUS over your soul, and pray that you will come to accept the love that our Savior wants to show you. But - it is your choice. Reject it, and GOD will have no problem turning His glorious Face away from you for all eternity. (A very long time.)

          What flavor of pie do you enjoy?

          NRL
          1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
          Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
          Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
          Locations in 50 States and Canada
          !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
          Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
          Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

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          • #6
            Re: Hello fellow Christians

            Originally posted by 6sheep6street6house View Post
            I am a satanist from communist-estonia. In communist-estonia we like vodka very mutch. Our fellow russians come here often and he we drink vodka and sacrifice virgin baptists to satan. Sometimes there may even be as many as 300 little virgins and you cant even imagin how satan loves them. This is why communist estonia and our brothers communist russia are such great countries! They are in fact the greatest countries in the world. Because satan>god.

            Also i seem not to understand why this emoji is up side down. I've put my friend yuri on the cross but not a cross like on this emoji, the cross on the emoji isnt like it supposed to be. You might want to fix that.

            Also, satan just told me that he will be waiting for all of you baptist in hell. Hes got a special place in the farthest corner in hell for you to suffer but estonians and russians will be drinking vodka with satan in hell. Eternal.
            I have no doubt that you will be going to Hell, fellow. I guess most of the heathen Russians have been driven to the far corners of Russia now that a Christian has finally taken the reigns of your benighted country. Presumably, the Estonia region of Russia is far from civilization, over near to the Swedes, and that is why wretches, such as yourself, have taken refuge there. Why is it, do you think, that the godless Nazis valued you people as concentration camp guards?

            I imagine that President Brother Vladimir Putin will get around to rooting out your nest of unsaved trash as soon as he gets through wiping out the Muslims. There are many of them and they are serious and dangerous. Thus, he must smite them first and leave the Estones to a later date. I believe you are safe for now, but your earthly fate is likely sealed.

            What is not sealed is the fate of your eternal soul. You still have time to come to Jesus, if you dare. The life of a godly and upright man is hard, but not as hard as Hell. Don't go there, it's too hot.

            God Bless!

            Post Scriptum- There is no vodka in Hell, swami; only the sulphurous fires of eternal perdition.
            God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello fellow Christians

              So what's life like in communist Lithuania?

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