Tweet
I was surfing the web looking for articles about God's favourite American family, when I stumbled across this article.
I have quoted this article, not for the benefit of True Christian™ women who would never alter what God gave them down there, but for the benefit on the heathens who visit our website.
1 Corinthians 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
God gave you hairs down there to protect your modesty. It is a wonderful thing that this pornographic fad is coming to an end. Do you really think that Baby Jesus wishes to see your most personal private parts every time you undress? Do you really think your husbands want to see it? After all, you turn the light off for a good reason.
As for the last sentence of the article, my hairs down there most definitely depict the face of Christ.
Ladies, breaking news: it is time to step away from the molten wax and let our lady gardens grow free. Perhaps you already suspected something was afoot from the re-emergence of the lesser-spotted foof in the gym changing rooms.
Or maybe you ditched the razor when Gwyneth Paltrow admitted on the {*** filthy lesbian name deleted ***} Show that she "rocks a 70s vibe down there"but it is now official: 51 per cent of 1,870 women who answered an online pharmacy poll, carried out by UK Medix, do not “style or groom their pubic hair” with 45 per cent of us admitting that we can “no longer be bothered to keep up the grooming” and 62 per cent revealing that their partner “prefers the natural look”.
Whoooaa…hang on. Pubic topiary has become The Norm. Its demise is momentous. Thanks to pornography and those swooping crotch-shots of female singers’ hair-free gusset regions, female pubes have withered and died; a whole generation of young men are grossed out by Mother Nature’s handiwork because it hasn’t appeared on porn stars since the early 1990s and girls as young as 12 are trying to rid themselves of their pubescent femininity at a time when they should be celebrating their womanliness.
So just what is doing on downstairs?
Like so many fashion trends (false nails, hair extensions, fake tans), we can’t kid ourselves that the bald nunny arose out of a demand from our partners. Hoary old husbands weren’t down the pub debating how best to finesse their sex-lives before returning home to demand that the pubes must go. Most blokes are not that shallow. Or arguably they’re just happy to get jiggy with the object of their affections regardless. Most wouldn’t recoil even if their beloved’s follicles depicted the face of Christ, like the ones that turn up in tabloids on slices of bread.
Or maybe you ditched the razor when Gwyneth Paltrow admitted on the {*** filthy lesbian name deleted ***} Show that she "rocks a 70s vibe down there"but it is now official: 51 per cent of 1,870 women who answered an online pharmacy poll, carried out by UK Medix, do not “style or groom their pubic hair” with 45 per cent of us admitting that we can “no longer be bothered to keep up the grooming” and 62 per cent revealing that their partner “prefers the natural look”.
Whoooaa…hang on. Pubic topiary has become The Norm. Its demise is momentous. Thanks to pornography and those swooping crotch-shots of female singers’ hair-free gusset regions, female pubes have withered and died; a whole generation of young men are grossed out by Mother Nature’s handiwork because it hasn’t appeared on porn stars since the early 1990s and girls as young as 12 are trying to rid themselves of their pubescent femininity at a time when they should be celebrating their womanliness.
So just what is doing on downstairs?
Like so many fashion trends (false nails, hair extensions, fake tans), we can’t kid ourselves that the bald nunny arose out of a demand from our partners. Hoary old husbands weren’t down the pub debating how best to finesse their sex-lives before returning home to demand that the pubes must go. Most blokes are not that shallow. Or arguably they’re just happy to get jiggy with the object of their affections regardless. Most wouldn’t recoil even if their beloved’s follicles depicted the face of Christ, like the ones that turn up in tabloids on slices of bread.
1 Corinthians 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
God gave you hairs down there to protect your modesty. It is a wonderful thing that this pornographic fad is coming to an end. Do you really think that Baby Jesus wishes to see your most personal private parts every time you undress? Do you really think your husbands want to see it? After all, you turn the light off for a good reason.
As for the last sentence of the article, my hairs down there most definitely depict the face of Christ.
Comment