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  • #46
    Re: Doing God's Work

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    I beliieve that the Holy Ghost is giving me a vision.....Yes, I see it clearly now....More "friends" of Andy will be showing up soon.

    That's all....Thank you Jesus!
    GLORY!! Another prophesy fulfilled!! Thank you Jesus!!

    Originally posted by JennyD View Post
    Will they all be zit-faced retards, too?
    Yes. Jesus told me they will be covered in crusty zits and smell of urine. Amen.

    Originally posted by Miss Millie Slade View Post
    I see why they say you mock God here, FIrst off, Reverend Rodimer was a valued member of our church. his passing affects us all. You can mock it all you like and btw as per the directive Dr. Smith stated, Anyone from FSCA that comes on this site will be suspended for 30 days.
    No threesomes in Quarantine. You'll have to include that smelly old drunk Bozo.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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    • #47
      Re: Doing God's Work

      Originally posted by Miss Millie Slade View Post
      No it does not. As I am here simply to inform those tempted to come here and attack you liars (This includes Pastor Grimes and Mr, Samuals) I am not going to be here long. And BTW putting those two in Quarentine makes you all look like liars. Not them)
      You are truly disgusting.



      Do you have to buy a new pillow daily? Or do you just let the oozy pus build up on the one pillow until it's glued to the bed, the wall and even the floor?

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      • #48
        Re: Doing God's Work

        Pastor Ezekiel, thank you for dealing with Andrew in my absence.

        As I've mentioned, he's a very disturbed young man. You can see the evidence of his desire to cross-dress so he can join the Heaven's Riders in his "Miss Millie Slade" name.

        I hesitate to describe to you the genesis of that name, but I believe that the truth will set him free.

        About three years ago, before Andrew became obsessed with watching nearly-nude oiled men grapple with each other for hours, the church had a talent show. It was to be a way of introducing the congregation to me. Rev. Davidson was about to retire; I had just accepted my new position, and was in town to make arrangements for my move. All the kids were encouraged to put together an act, either alone or with friends.

        Well, Andrew hadn't many friends, so he put together his own act. Rev. Davidson told me that Andrew wouldn't give a description, but that we would have "a big surprise". We certainly did!

        When Andrew's turn came up, the lights were dimmed and odd music began playing; the sort you hear in those old Western films when the burlesque dancer is about to do her thing. "Uh oh," I thought.

        Andrew's cracking early-puberty voice came over the sound system, "Now, for your entertainment, we introduce the incomparable Miss Millie Slade!"

        "Oh, dear," I thought.

        Andrew strolled out onto stage in half of his mother's lingerie, leopard-print high heels, a wig, a face full of makeup, and a feather boa! "Good LORD!" I exclaimed. I wondered just what sort of Hellbound congregation I'd gotten myself into!

        I rose to drag him bodily from the stage, but Rev. Davidson placed a hand on my shoulder. "Let the boy do his thing," he said. Being respectful of my elders, and recognizing that I was not yet head of the congregation, I acquiesced.

        Andrew cried out, "Have I got a surprise for you!" He reached under his boa and whipped out . . .



        A ukelele. The stripper music stopped, and he played some Godless Hawaiian tune.

        Well, the playing was nearly as bad as the outfit.

        As punishment for this display, Andrew was required to clean up the vomit in the sanctuary -- mine, and that of a few other visitors in the audience. He also had to replace the donations which were in the collection plate when Mrs. Miller lost her cookies.

        In retrospect, it should have been my first sign that something was horribly wrong with this congregation when the members not only did not vomit, but even applauded Andrew's perversion. In my new-graduate optimism, I assumed they were just being polite!

        At my insistence, Andrew and his family were placed into special counseling. Rev. Davidson felt that he could handle the situation on his own, and asked me to stay out of it. I had a bad feeling about it, but allowed the old man to handle it his way. Clearly, his way was inadequate.

        I found many issues within the congregation once I took over, and began to wonder whether Rev. Davidson was really a Baptist, or perhaps a Satanist or Papist. I'm pleased to say that over the first few months, with the exception of Andrew, 85% of the congregants I inherited -- including Mr. and Mrs. Watkins --chose Jesus and Salvation. The other 15% left and formed their own group which I hear meets during the night of the new moon in a windowless warehouse. These people have been more than replaced with new Christians as our evangelizing network spreads the Good News across the area!
        Bible boring? Nonsense!
        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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        • #49
          Re: Doing God's Work

          Originally posted by Pimplepee-peezillaWWE View Post
          I am a bed wetting, pimple popping crybaby nancyboy liar.
          Perhaps LBC should dip into the collection plate and send Drew a gift of an electric blanket , with all those fluids in the bed we might just be doing the Lords work for him.

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